


Sun and Sea

by sonoflight



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, I think I'll have all three?, M/M, Post-Avatar: The Last Airbender, Slow Burn, be the change you wish to see in the world y'all, rating may change depending on what direction I take this, there's just not enough Zukka content around, zukka - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-08-24 00:42:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 44,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16629602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonoflight/pseuds/sonoflight
Summary: After his wife is killed by assassins, Fire Lord Zuko is left alone to grieve and to rule his nation. And to raise his newborn daughter. As the burdens of being both the Fire Lord and a father weigh down on Zuko, his old friends arrive to help. Now, with Team Avatar at his side, Zuko seeks justice. And he intends to get just that. Perhaps, though, he can also find something more. Perhaps he can learn to love again.**On temporary hiatus. My dumbass brain can only like one thing at a time apparently, and that thing is currently the Umbrella Academy. Rest assured, I'm not through with this, but it's taking a backseat for now, sorry! Love u all, be back soon xo





	1. The Funeral

**Author's Note:**

> Yoohoo, it's me, back on my bullshit, with a new fic for a new fandom. Probably not the best idea to have yet another WIP, but I just have too many ideas. If you've read either of my other things, welcome back! If not, howdy and welcome to the party! Hope you enjoy!

Zuko watches his wife’s funeral pyre burn all night. The Fire Sages tell him he should go home and not risk his health to stand on the cold lip of the caldera. He dismisses them. He will leave only if the sun rises, or if his daughter begins to fret. The Sages leave him then, knowing how stubborn their lord is and cursing at how well-behaved his baby is. Zuko knows he shouldn’t discount his Sages’ advice so readily, but he won’t turn his back on what was until it is truly and irrevocably gone from him. Even when the flames have withered into nothing and the fragrant scent of burning fire lilies has dissipated on the wind, he stays with the ashes. The last remains of the woman he loved. Izumi.

The entirety of the Fire Nation had spent the day in mourning, and those in the Capital had either come to watch the funerary send off at the highest point in the Fire Nation or watched the pillar of flames dance toward the sky from their homes. As the day wore on, the people left. The ones with young children left first when the littlest of them began to cry for food. Their parents stuttered out apologies to Zuko as they departed, afraid to have offended him. Each family, he waved away with a tight smile. He could never be angry with the future of the Fire Nation, innocent in their need to be loved and cared for.

Though the crowd dwindled steadily as the evening wore on, Zuko never moved from his place. He watched as his people trickled back into the city to return to their lives, and he tried not to be bitter. Yes, he felt he’d lost more than almost anyone in the last week, but he forced himself to remember, as each downcast face left, that they had lost their queen.

By the time the sun rises, he is alone. Or, almost alone.

The baby in his arms lets out a tiny cry, and he cradles her a little closer. She’s too young to truly understand, he knows, but he can sense her knowledge that someone very important has departed from her world. Poor little Izumi, named for a mother she’ll never get to meet, the mother who took her last breath as her daughter took her first. It doesn’t seem fair.

Her birth should have been a happy day full of joyful tears and national celebration. The Fire Nation had been abuzz all month, anticipating the birth of the Fire Princess any day. Plans and preparations were made for the week-long celebration that would begin immediately after the Princess’ birth. People from all over the Fire Nation had journeyed to the Capital to watch the parade and gather together when the Sages would announce the newborn Princess’ name.

Team Avatar had even stopped by to congratulate Zuko and Izumi, and Katara, overbearing as always, had insisted on giving Izumi a thorough check-up. When Aang and Toph had finally managed to drag her away, they’d only lived to tell the tale because of Katara’s good mood at Izumi’s perfect health. Aang had laughed through the whole thing, and as they left on Appa, he promised to come back to meet the yet unnamed baby soon—once they met up with Sokka, and Suki and the other Kyoshi warriors and finished their latest project in Ba Sing Se.

Zuko and Izumi had seen them off from the courtyard, and that’d been the last happy moment.

There was nothing Zuko or the royal physician could do for her. The assassins had caught them in their sleep, and though Zuko had sent them all fleeing into the night with a fury he hadn’t felt since he was a teenager, it was too late for Izumi. For two days they’d worked to heal her. Katara had come back to help. The Fire Nation held its breath as Izumi struggled for her life.

She held on just long enough to hold her daughter in her arms.

When Zuko returns to the palace, he is exhausted. He wants nothing more than to curl up and sleep forever. He wants to turn back time so that he can be awake when the assassins come. Then maybe he could protect Izumi and this wouldn’t be happening.

Guards and servants alike murmur their condolences as Zuko passes by. He nods to them politely, thankful for their sympathy but not wanting to really feel it. The few noblemen and diplomats staying in the palace offer kind words to Zuko as well. They also crane their necks to try to get a look at the baby. Once Zuko realizes this, he draws his robes tighter around his daughter. She’ll not be a spectacle for these people.

He signals two guards to take up rank on either side of him, deterring any more interruptions from the palace’s occupants. Only Katara, not having left yet after Izumi’s death, is allowed to walk with him. She holds out her arms and Zuko hands her his daughter.

“You know I have to go back today,” she says. Zuko nods. “Are you and Izumi going to be alright?”

“We’ll be fine,” he says. He glances at Katara. She has her bending water out and is scanning a hand over Izumi’s chest. “Unless you’ve found something wrong.” Katara looks up sharply at his strained voice.

“Zuko, no, she’s very healthy,” she says. “I wouldn’t leave if I thought there was anything wrong.” Zuko sighs, which Katara misinterprets. “But I can stay if it makes you feel better.”

“No, it’s—” Zuko shakes his head. “That’s what you said about her mother.”

“Oh, Zuko.” Katara stops him and puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. “That’s not going to happen again, okay? Suki and Ty Lee and the other Kyoshi Warriors are on their way, and they’ll be guarding Izumi at all times.”

“I know.” Zuko lifts Izumi from Katara’s arms and kisses her softly on her tiny forehead. “It’s just… it’s hard.”

“You’re allowed to be sad, y’know. I don’t think you’re allowing yourself to go through this properly. I’m worried about you.”

Zuko meets Katara’s gentle blue eyes and feels a surge of gratitude that they’re no longer enemies. It wasn’t until he became friends with the Avatar and his crew that anyone but Uncle Iroh had expressed true concern for him. He gives Katara a tight smile.

“You’re always worried about me,” he says. She glares. “Thank you, though. I think I just need time, and I can’t let this destroy me. I have a nation to rule and a daughter to raise. So many people depend on me, and if I put my life on hold, I’ll be letting them all down.”

Katara shakes her head. “Don’t be a hero, Zuko,” she tells him. “You’ve done enough of that in your life already.” She pulls him into a hug before gently pushing him toward his rooms. “Go get some sleep. The Fire Nation will still be here tomorrow. You can be their Fire Lord then. Bye, Zuko.”

“Bye, Katara.”

Zuko watches his friend depart. She’ll be flying back to Ba Sing Se, and part of Zuko wants to go with her. He could visit Uncle, live simply. Being the Fire Lord makes him miss the days when he dressed in simple clothes and served tea to Earth Nation citizens in a tea shop where no one knew or cared who he was. He wouldn’t mind flying around on Appa again either, stuck on a flying bison a hundred feet in the air, cramped together with five other teenagers all itching for a fight. He misses his friends.

Izumi’s crib and nursery have been relocated to Zuko’s quarters, per his request, by the time he arrives. He feeds her the special formula that Katara brought, bathes and changes her, then lays her down to sleep.

“Goodnight, Izumi,” he whispers. Disrobing, he crawls into his own bed, which is colder and emptier than he thought it’d ever be again. “Goodnight, Izumi,” he repeats into the darkness. He’s not sure if it’s for his wife or his daughter. With a wave of his hand, he extinguishes the torches and candles around the room. And for the first time since Izumi was born, he cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for joining me, y'all, I'll try not to disappoint! I always love comments, and you can find me on tumblr [@lastoftherealblues](https://lastoftherealblues.tumblr.com). Also, if you like FOB, check out my work [Hear It Like A Drum In Your Head](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5951656/chapters/13680157)


	2. Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if I've made ages clear enough, but if I haven't: Zuko and Izumi are 19 when they meet and 20 when they get married, and at the start of this story, Zuko is 21

_Zuko almost doesn’t see the young woman. She has her head down, dark hair hanging loose around her face, which is buried in a book, and she’s walking fast, right at Zuko. For his own part, Zuko is chasing Aang through the streets of Omashu, where the reconstruction efforts are well under way. He hasn’t been worried about watching where he’s going because most of the residents of this area haven’t been able to move back yet. If anyone’s around, it’s because they’re looking for quiet, and Zuko’s confident that he and Aang have scared those types off by now with their hollering and laughter._

_Unfortunately, even though Zuko notices the girl he’s about to crash into, it’s too late to avoid the collision that sends them both tumbling to the ground—the girl’s book goes flying up into the air, and Zuko ends up with a face full of dirt and a freshly muddied set of robes. Lying face-down on the ground in mild shock, he wonders if Toph can just earthbend the dirt out of the fancy silk._

_“What in the world are you doing?” The girl demands. While Zuko’s been theorizing about how to clean his robes, the girl has already stood and collected her book. Zuko drags himself upright and turns to face the girl, the beginning of an apology on his tongue. The girl jumps. “Fire Lord Zuko!” she exclaims. She throws herself to the ground at his feet. “Forgive me, I meant no disrespect, I—”_

_“No, it’s fine,” Zuko says quickly. “It was my fault.” He shifts uncomfortably when she remains kneeling and trembling before him. “Hey, uh, you don’t have to, y’know, do that,” he says. “Bowing, I mean. Actually, I’d almost rather you didn’t…”_

_The girl scrambles to her feet immediately, but she keeps her head hung, hiding her face behind her hair. “I am at your mercy, my Lord,” stutters. “Whatever punishment you see fit, I accept.”_

_Zuko just stares at her in slack-jawed shock. Is this really what people think of the Fire Lord? He has a lot of work to do._

_“Zuko!” Both Zuko and the girl look up at the sound of Aang’s voice. The young Avatar comes swooping down on his glider, giving a dramatic bow and a twirl of the staff when he lands. The girl lets out a despairing cry and drops to the ground again, this time bowing to Aang, which Zuko thinks is a little strange. Sure, he’s the Avatar, but even for a fifteen-year-old, he seems young. Not exactly the kind of guy you grovel at._

_“Avatar Aang,” she says. “I swear I meant no harm to the Fire Lord. I beg you, please, intervene on my behalf.”_

_“Whoa,” Aang says. He looks between Zuko and the girl, who sounds like she might be actually crying. “What’d you do to her?”_

_“Nothing!” Zuko protests. “I mean—I just ran into her. While chasing you. And now she thinks—well, actually I’m not sure. That I’m gonna punish her?” Aang frowns. “I’m not, though,” Zuko plows on. “But she thinks I am.” He groans when Aang just shakes his head at him. “Aang, come on, you’re the Avatar! Do something!”_

_Aang shrugs. “Okay.” He tosses Zuko the glider and plops down onto the ground with the girl. “Hi,” he greets. She looks up at him. “I’m Aang. That’s my buddy Zuko. Sorry he ran into you like that. We were playing.” Cautiously, eyeing Zuko out of the corner of her eye, the girl sits up. She mirrors Aang’s criss-cross position as he talks. “It’s a game called ‘I Must Regain My Honor—’” Zuko shoots Aang a death glare. “—And basically, the objective is Zuko chases me around and tries to capture me, and I run away. If he catches me, he regains his honor and I have to let him fly Appa wherever he wants. But if he doesn’t then I pick a place to represent the Fire Nation, and I put his crown in there, and then I don’t let him in.”_

_The girl has the most bewildered look on her face, so Zuko joins them on the ground and clears his throat. He ignores the way the girl jumps and scoots away from him._

_“That’s actually not what was happening,” he says. “It’s true that I’m chasing him, but there’s no game called ‘I Must Regain My Honor.’ And also, that’s not funny, Aang.” Aang just laughs. “It’s more of an exercise for both of us. Airbending involves a lot of evasive tactics—running on roofs, air-scootering, gliding, leaping, zig-zagging, stuff like that. Firebending—”_

_“I know about firebending,” the girl cuts in. She slams a hand over her mouth when Zuko and Aang both look at her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—”_

_“You’re a firebender?” Zuko asks. He keeps his face as open and casual as he can.  She hesitates, then nods. He smiles. “Who was your master?”_

_“My father,” she says. “He taught me everything I know.”_

_“Then you must be very skilled,” Zuko says sincerely. He knows the value of having good teachers in the family. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but if you’re a firebender, then why do you fear me so much? We’re from the same nation, aren’t we? I’m not a cruel Fire Lord, if that’s what you’re worried about.”_

_“No, Fire Lord Zuko, it’s not…just your title that I fear,” she says. “It’s something else too. You and my father were enemies.” She looks away, tears welling up in her eyes once more. Suddenly, the family resemblance is so obvious, Zuko could’ve smacked himself for not noticing before._

_“Zhao had a daughter!?”_

_The girl nods. “Yes. Admiral Zhao was my father. I know what you think of him and our family. I don’t know what happened at the Northern Water Tribe, but I am not like him.” She finally looks Zuko in the eye. “I am loyal to the Avatar, and I am loyal to you, Fire Lord Zuko.”_

_Zuko doesn’t know what to say. He doubts she wants to hear that Zuko failed to save her father’s life. “Thank you,” he finally says. He places a hand on her shoulder. “And you can just call me Zuko. I only make my friend Sokka call me Fire Lord Zuko.” Aang snorts. “What’s your name?”_

_The girl smiles faintly at him. “I’m Izumi.”_

_“Well, Izumi,” Zuko says. “I think I owe you a date. How would you like to visit Ba Sing Se? My uncle owns a teashop there, and I want to introduce you. We can ride on Appa.”_

_Izumi blushes. “I would like that very much, Fire L—I mean, Zuko.”_

_“Great!” Zuko jumps to his feet and offers Izumi his hand. She takes it and stands. “Aang, think you can handle Omashu on your own?”_

_“Hmmm. Yeah, I guess. Have fun on your date!”_

_“Thanks.”_

Zuko is awoken by his baby’s wailing. He leaps out of bed and runs to her crib, gently lifting her into his arms.

“Hey, Izumi.” He kisses her on the head. “What’s wrong? Are you hungry?” Glancing out the window, he sees the sun lighting up the edge of the sky, signaling the beginnings of dawn. He smiles to himself—only a few weeks old and already showing signs of being a firebender. His mother once told him it drove her crazy having to wake up at dawn for both him and Azula. She didn’t have the same advantage of being a firebender herself. Izumi may have woken him up, but Zuko doubts he would’ve slept for much longer anyway.

He carefully situates Izumi in one arm before going about preparing her formula. It’s tricky to do with only one hand, especially when she starts getting restless, but he manages well enough. At the very least, nothing spills and he doesn’t drop Izumi. He counts that as a win, considering this is the first time he’s had to do this without Katara’s help. Once he’s settled on the sofa in the corner of his room and Izumi is sucking on her bottle happily, his thoughts drift back to his dream.

That day had only been two years ago, but it feels like another lifetime. He misses those days—even the struggles he’d had as the new, young Fire Lord. In retrospect, it’d been fun to have those excuses to cavort around the Fire Nation and visit the other nations with Team Avatar. Their adventures had been a good distraction during that time. When they were in Omashu, the heartbreak Zuko felt after Mai broke it off with him was still very real, and he needed the space from her and the Capital. Meeting Izumi was a stroke of good luck that Zuko still suspects Aang somehow set up. The guy probably put Zuko on a collision course on purpose.

That had to have been the worst first impression Zuko had ever made on a person—and he’d spent almost a year trying to kill Aang. Never in the history of the Fire Nation had the Fire Lord crashed into one of his subjects while chasing the Avatar around like they were children. But as humiliated as he’d been, he wouldn’t do anything to change that day.

Izumi, once she got over basically being tackled by the Fire Lord, took to Zuko immediately. She often praised his peaceful, benevolent style of ruling. It wasn’t weak, she said, but strong to show gentleness in the wake of the terrible crimes of his ancestors. She thought his jokes were funny, even when the rest of Zuko’s friends just groaned at him. Sometimes, she even egged him on. When Zuko was with her, he could forget about the parts of himself he was ashamed of. She didn’t even seem to notice his scar and only ever mentioned it when he would rub at it self-consciously. Zuko loved that about her.

He also loved that she never put up with his shit for a minute. Though she was empathetic toward what he’d been through, there was no brooding when she was around, and the many times Zuko found himself dwelling on the more difficult parts of his past, she would sharply remind him that he doesn’t have to wallow in the past to learn from it. Visits to Ozai’s cell were absolutely, unconditionally forbidden. If she thought Zuko was sacrificing too much of himself for the Fire Nation, she would force him to take a break while she stood in for him.

 _You can’t be a good Fire Lord if you don’t take the time to do human things every once in a while,_ she said. _Take a little time to watch the sunrise._

If only she was here now to be up at dawn, watching the sunrise with Zuko and their daughter. He supposes the baby wouldn’t be named Izumi in that world. They would’ve settled on something to honor the bridging of worlds. The four nations are more connected than ever, the Fire Nation itself is the most cohesive it’d been since Sozin took power, and the rift between Zuko’s family and Izumi’s family had been mended by their marriage.

When Izumi is done feeding, Zuko sets the bottle aside, throws a cloth over his shoulder, and starts burping her. “I miss your mother,” he says. “Everything feels so wrong without her. She should be here with us to watch the sun come up.” He smiles down at Izumi. “She’d be laughing at me right now, I’m sure. Having a kid that wakes me up before the sun even rises is exactly what I deserve. I did the same thing to my mother. She's not a firebender, though, so I guess it’s different. I also think she had a hard time because Azula was a really difficult baby. Never quite happy, no matter how much love and attention Mother gave her. I’d like to think I was different.

“Your mother said she was actually a really late sleeper for a firebender. Zhao—that was her father—always resented her for that. At first he thought she might not be a bender at all because she didn’t show any characteristics of a firebender. Actually, she and I had that in common. But I can tell you about me later. Anyway, that’s why she started learning hand-to-hand and weapons combat first. If Zhao couldn’t have a firebender for a kid, he’d at least have a warrior. Of course, she did eventually started firebending when she was around five years old. And once she started, she was unstoppable. I think if Zhao hadn’t shut her away when she was a teenager because of how ashamed he was of her gentle nature, she would’ve been a great addition to Team Avatar.”

Zuko pauses when Izumi is done burping. He tosses the cloth into a basket and switches to cradling Izumi in his lap. He’ll have to change her soon, but she seems content for the time being.

“I’m never gonna treat you that way,” he says. “I’ll be proud of you no matter what. If you’re strong-willed, impulsive, quiet, adventurous, timid, firebender, non-bender—it doesn’t matter to me.” Zuko pauses. “Well, unless you turn out like Azula or Ozai. I think I’d have to find some way to help you if you started acting like them. There are ways to be powerful and intelligent and ambitious without burning down everything around you.”

His hand finds the edge of his scar, and he traces along it lightly. For the three years of his banishment, and even beyond that, Zuko had tried to justify Ozai’s actions. He’d thought that somehow, he must’ve deserved to be punished. After all, Ozai was his father and the Fire Lord, so in Zuko’s young mind, he was the authority on everything.

But looking down at his own child, Zuko feels nothing but anger and disgust at what Ozai did. He’d disfigured his own son and sent him on a suicide mission, knowing full well that Zuko would’ve done anything to not be seen as a failure. Whatever reasons Ozai had had were wrong, and Zuko can’t fathom how he didn’t see that a long time ago. There is nothing in this world that could make him hurt Izumi.

It’s a little after the sun has fully risen when Izumi cries for him to change her. He’s just finishing up when there’s a knock on his door.

“Come in,” he calls, even though he’s only wearing a bed-robe. He guesses living in exile, first with Uncle and then with Team Avatar, gave him a slightly skewed sense of modesty for a member of the royal family. “Suki!” he cries when he sees who’s come to visit. “Ty Lee!” His childhood friend comes springing in behind her more composed companion. “It’s so good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too, Zuko,” Suki says. Unlike Ty Lee, she’s in full Kyoshi Warrior uniform, but as soon as Zuko goes in for a hug, she breaks character to hug him back. “I’m sorry about Izumi.”

Before Zuko can get in a word of thanks or start crying again, Ty Lee is leaning into his personal space to get a good look at his baby. “Oh, she’s so cute!” she exclaims. “Can I hold her?”

“Uh. Sure,” he says. Ty Lee is surprisingly gentle when he hands Izumi over. He turns back to Suki while Ty Lee coos over Izumi. “Thanks for coming. I know it’s a lot to ask to have you leave Ba Sing Se at such a critical time, so I’m very grateful to have you here. You didn’t really bring all of the Kyoshi Warriors, did you?”

Suki laughs. “Actually, I did.” Zuko frowns. “Oh, come on, nobody’s about to have a go at Aang anyway now that Katara’s back.” Zuko laughs. Yeah, no one in their right mind messes with Katara. “You need us more than he does. You know,” Suki lowers her voice. “If you need to talk to me about… Well, I can’t understand exactly what you’re going through, but Ty Lee and I are here for you. You don’t have to deal with this alone.”

“Thank you, Suki. But I’m not ready to talk to anyone about it yet.” He sighs. “I think right now, I just need to focus on being a good father and a strong Fire Lord.” He feels the tears threatening to come back with a vengeance, and he swallows them back down. Now isn’t the time to be crying and wallowing in his grief. Suki clearly isn’t fooled by his façade, but thankfully, she doesn’t push the subject. Instead, she turns to watch Ty Lee playing with Izumi.

“She’s still a newborn, you know that, right?” she says. Ty Lee grins at them from where she’s balanced on one of the bedposts, rocking Izumi.

“What?” she pouts. “It’s not like she knows how far off the ground she is. And I’m not doing any flips—this is perfectly safe.”

“It’s okay, Suki,” Zuko assures his friend. He knows Ty Lee, and he trusts her not to drop his kid. She didn’t spend years as a circus favorite for nothing—her sense of balance is enviable. “As long as you don’t keep her up there too long. I don’t need her getting any ideas about finding the highest places in the palace to climb up to.”

“Whatever you say,” Ty Lee says. She cuddles Izumi happily. “I just can’t get over how adorable she is! It’s hard to believe she’s really yours.”

“Hey!” Zuko protests. “I’ll have you know I was an extremely cute baby.”

Ty Lee giggles. “No, that’s not what I meant—though now that you mention it, that’s what I should’ve meant. But I was just trying to say that I can’t believe you’re actually a dad. It just seems so surreal. We’re still so young.”

“No, you’re young,” he says. “I’m twenty-one. And I’ve been Fire Lord since I was sixteen. Besides, I’m the right age to be producing an heir. Mother and Father were about my age when I was born.”

Ty Lee shrugs. “I’m just saying, I feel like it was just yesterday that we were kids crashing parties on Ember Island, know what I mean?”

“Yeah.” Zuko glances at his reflection in the mirror. He really does look too young to have been through so much. “I guess I do.”

He startles when Ty Lee jumps down in front of him and holds Izumi out. With a smile, he takes her and brushes a hand through the surprisingly thick black hair on her head.

“We’ll leave you alone now,” Suki says. “We just wanting to check in on you. During the day, we’ll mostly be patrolling the palace, and we’ll only guard you personally when you ask or when you’re outside. At night, either me or Ty Lee can be stationed outside your door or in the room, whatever you want. If there’s anything you need, just ask.”

Zuko’s heart swells with gratitude. Suki’s speaking formally as a Kyoshi Warrior, but the warmth in her voice tells him that she’s here as his friend too. She really cares about him and his family’s safety.

Suki waves at Ty Lee to follow her and the two make their way out to begin patrolling the grounds. The door gently closes behind them, and Zuko stares at the brass accents that reflect the sun, now climbing its way up the sky. A sudden thought strikes him, and, making sure Izumi is secure in his arms, he chases after the Kyoshi Warriors.

“Suki!” he calls. From the end of the corridor, she turns. “I do have something I need you to do.”

“Yes?” she asks.

The grief in Zuko’s heart blazes wildly. “Find the people who killed my wife.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome and much appreciated! And as always, you can find me on tumblr [@lastoftherealblues](http://lastoftherealblues.tumblr.com/)


	3. Conflict

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, I am back with more goodies. However, if you read chapters 1 and 2 prior to December 8, 2018, I must make you aware of a significant edit to chapter 1. 
> 
> The old paragraph was: "Team Avatar had even stopped by to congratulate Zuko and Izumi, and Katara, overbearing as always, had insisted on giving Izumi a thorough check-up. When Sokka and Toph had finally managed to drag her away, they’d only lived to tell the tale because of Katara’s good mood at Izumi’s perfect health. Aang had laughed through the whole thing too, and as they left on Appa, he promised to come back to meet the yet unnamed baby soon—once they met up with Suki and the other Kyoshi warriors and finished their latest project in Ba Sing Se."
> 
> AND the new paragraph is: "Team Avatar had even stopped by to congratulate Zuko and Izumi, and Katara, overbearing as always, had insisted on giving Izumi a thorough check-up. When Aang and Toph had finally managed to drag her away, they’d only lived to tell the tale because of Katara’s good mood at Izumi’s perfect health. Aang had laughed through the whole thing too, and as they left on Appa, he promised to come back to meet the yet unnamed baby soon—once they met up with Sokka, and Suki and the other Kyoshi warriors and finished their latest project in Ba Sing Se."
> 
> TLDR: Sokka was not there when The Gaang dropped in right before Izumi was born. Why? Oh, I thought I might just lengthen the time since Zuko and Sokka have seen each other. Y'know. For slow burn's sake.

Zuko hadn’t thought it’d be that easy to convince Suki to organize a Kyoshi Warrior investigation. He’d expected to get a disapproving frown and some choice words about how the Kyoshi Warriors had come to protect the remaining members of the royal family, not dole out justice. About how whoever the assassins that killed Izumi are, they used firebending and Fire Nation weaponry and are therefore Fire Nationals—not the Kyoshi Warriors’ problem. He thought maybe she’d scoff and say that he’s being dramatic. After all, the best of the Fire Nation soldiers are already pursuing every lead they have.

But Suki had instead told him she’d think about it. “It’s not really why we’re here,” she’d said, which at first sent a wave of disappointment over Zuko. “But I guess it wouldn’t hurt to be proactive about your safety. Now, I don’t know how many Warriors I can afford to sacrifice, or how many are appropriate for this kind of assignment. It’ll have to be team, but if I send too many, logistics could get messy.” By that point, Zuko’s heart had been racing. She hadn’t directly answered, but if he knew Suki at all, this was her roundabout way of saying yes. She confirmed this with a serious nod. “Give me a couple hours, and I’ll get back to you.”

She’d then returned not an hour later with a team of four Warriors that she believed would be best suited to carry out his mission. They were the fastest on foot and the best trackers that Suki had to offer. It also didn’t hurt that two of the four were tall, intimidating figures and the other two, though smaller, held themselves so surely that Zuko would think twice before challenging them.

Zuko had exchanged brief words with the four women before they departed to follow the existing leads on their own, as a team completely separate from the Fire Nation forces. Suki had explained that by working as an independent operation, they could avoid the fanfare that might plague Zuko’s Fire Nation team, since the Kyoshi Warriors often move around the world in small bands anyway. Zuko had agreed with this reasoning, and then the Warriors had been off. He’d spent half the day wondering why he was so surprised that Suki had so readily helped him until he realized he’d been expecting to hear what Izumi would’ve said. And that had broken his heart all over again.

A week after seeing the Kyoshi Warrior’s off, Zuko sits at the head of a council meeting, trying very hard and failing quite miserably at focusing on what his generals have to say. It’s not that the meeting is unimportant or that his officers’ words are uninteresting—it’s just that his mind is otherwise occupied.

“We’re mobilizing troops to protect these two Earth Kingdom villages,” one of the generals is saying. “We received representatives yesterday, asking for our help with a group of bandits who’ve been terrorizing them. Apparently Hou-Ting has better things to do than help her people.” That earns her a few scornful laughs. “I’m thinking a single battalion should work.” She nods to signify that she’s finished presenting. “Lord Zuko?”

Zuko jerks awake. He hadn’t realized he was drifting. “Oh, um.” Earth Kingdom. Bandits. Troops. “Yes, General, that’ll be fine.” He shifts uncomfortably under the scrutiny of the Council. They’re all looking at him like he’s grown a second head. Which, he supposes as Izumi starts to cry, isn’t that far from the truth. “Excuse me,” he says.

Head held high and composure unwavering, he does his best to ignore the looks of annoyance as he brushes out of the room. He knows the generals are growing increasingly displeased at these constant interruptions to their meetings, which he understands at some level. They can’t say anything, though, a fact that Zuko made absolutely clear the first time one of the generals gave him lip about Izumi’s crying. He almost feels bad for the man—he’s currently on a trip to a nondescript town in the far Earth Kingdom to deliver a special message on behalf of the Fire Lord.

Zuko smirks to himself just thinking about it. His decision had been perfectly calculated. It’s a mild slap on the wrist, especially as a punishment for daring to directly speak out against the Fire Lord in the middle of a meeting. But the message is plain enough to the others: if they can’t keep their mouths shut about Izumi, then Zuko won’t hear anything else of what they have to say. Besides, it’s not as if he’d lied when he said the message can’t exactly be delivered by messenger hawk.

Ty Lee giggles when she sees Zuko outside what was formerly called the war room, but which is now renamed the council room. The function is mostly the same, but Zuko is determined to eliminate anything that might give some upstart officer the idea to start attacking people again.

Zuko smiles and waves. He’s just pacing and rocking Izumi, and she’s cooing happily from where she’s nestled against his chest. He’s come to realize that often she cries simply because he’s been sitting still too long and she needs him to move. She’s not really hungry or tired or in need of a changing—she just needs his full attention.

“Did you have to kick anyone else out?” Ty Lee asks. As always, she’s got her face right up next to Izumi even as she’s talking to Zuko. It’s endearing how much she adores Izumi.

“No, they’re all still managing to keep their thoughts in their heads. Though, that may not last for many more meetings.”

“Hmmm,” Ty Lee tilts her head thoughtfully. “I could always sit in and threaten to chi block them. How ‘bout it, Izumi? Do you wanna see Aunt Ty Lee chi block those nasty, mean generals?”

“Ty Lee, please.” Zuko pinches the bridge of his nose. “I don’t think it would send the best message if I start using force or chi blocking to enforce respect during my meetings. Ozai ruled by intimidation, and I don’t want to become the kind of Fire Lord that he was.”

Tapping her foot, Ty Lee considers his concerns. “I guess not. But you already sent that one guy away. Really, it’s the same principle of limiting someone’s ability to defy you. Chi blocking doesn’t have to painful.”

“That’s not the point!” Zuko explodes, suddenly angry with Ty Lee and her naivety. “Chi blocking doesn’t just limit someone, it takes away their agency. That man I sent away had a choice whether to deliver a message for me, return, and take his place back on the Council, or to stay here but step down. Sure the mission might be ‘below’ a man of his rank, but it’ll only wound his pride. That’s not even close to threatening chi blocking.”

Izumi wails, sensing Zuko’s agitation. Zuko meets Ty Lee’s eyes, which are bright with tears, before turning his back to her. “I think you should go.” Calming Izumi is his priority, and he can’t do that if Ty Lee is there. Deep down, he knows she means well, but too often, she fails to understand how her careless remarks can affect others.

“Zuko, I’m sorry—”

“Leave!” he shouts. He regrets it as soon as she turns and sprints away in tears. A long time ago, he’d lashed out the same way, when he believed that Azula had killed Iroh right in front of him. Team Avatar had yet to become his friends and he’d been young and troubled, but he had still been wrong to drive them away. This time, there are no excuses. He should be better than the angry teenager who had rejected every attempt from others to show him genuine love, but instead, he’d lost control of his emotions and hurt Ty Lee.

“I’m sorry, Izumi,” he chokes out. “I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t think I’m capable of being the man I’m supposed to be.” The tears are rising up in him again, a flood from within that he hates. He focuses on his inner fire, stoking it until the flames burn hot enough to evaporate his tears. Only then does he turn and face the guards who are respectfully pretending not to have witnessed his meltdown. “Tell the Council that the meeting is adjourned. I need to be with my daughter.”

Zuko doesn’t stick around to see his command through. He can’t face the generals right now—if he sees any of their smug or angry or peeved faces, he may snap at them all like he did Ty Lee. That, he knows, would be worse. They’re not his friends. Not like Ty Lee. They don’t care that his outbursts come from his grief and his unbalanced emotional state, and slights against them will not be so easily forgiven.

He wanders out into the garden for some fresh air, but he sighs when one of the Kyoshi Warriors begins to tail him. Just when he thinks he might get some quiet time, he’s reminded about Suki’s insistence that he be accompanied when outdoors. He’s not about to tell the young Warrior to get lost, not while he’s just managed to calm Izumi, but he wishes he could have some privacy.

“If you don’t mind,” he says, forcing himself to sound and look kind and pleasant when he turns to address her. “I’d like for you to give me as much space as you deem appropriate. I understand that you have a duty to protect me and my daughter, but I just… need some time to myself, if that’s alright. If this is as far as you’ll allow me to stray from you, though, I’ll trust your judgment.”

With that, he resumes walking through the gardens and is pleased to see out of his periphery that the Warrior has fallen back a few paces.

The weather is perfect—warm, but not stifling, a breeze ruffling through the cherry blossoms. He takes Izumi out of the sling she’d been cradled in and unwraps the heavy blankets so she can feel the clear air. A little red flower falls onto her face, and laughing, Zuko moves it to her hair.

“That’s what Mother used to do when that happened to Azula,” he says. “Azula actually looked a lot like you when she was a baby, though I think your hair might be even thicker than hers was—and that’s saying something.” When Zuko moves to wipe a little drool off her chin, Izumi grabs his finger and puts it in her mouth. Zuko’s heart feels ready to burst from how cute her smile is. “Guess you got that from me,” he says. “Apparently, I was fond of eating the flowers that fell on me. And also I, uh. I put a turtleduck in my mouth. Once.”

“I can’t believe I just had to hear that with my own two ears.”

Zuko startles at the sudden voice off to his left, then breaks into an uncontrollable grin when he sees who it is. “Toph!” he cries, running to greet her where she’s leaning against a tree. “You weren’t announced. How’d you get in without my guards seeing you?”

Toph gives a derisive snort. “Please, Sparky, you live in the middle of a dead volcano that’s made of—guess what—rock. Even if I wasn’t the best earthbender alive, I could get in no problem. It’s a real wonder you guys managed to take over the whole Earth Kingdom like that. Oh, and you might wanna tell your Kyoshi Warrior to put the sword down.”

“Oh!” Zuko waves vaguely in the direction of his guard to get her to stand down. “Sorry. It’s really great to see you,” he says. “I’d hug you, but, y’know.” He holds Izumi up. “I’m holding Izumi.”

“So that’s what that is,” Toph snickers. “I thought it was a pillow. Well don’t sweat it, I’d rather you didn’t hug me anyway. Oh, and it’s good to see you—wait. Nevermind.” Zuko laughs. Same old Toph. “Interesting choice of a messenger, by the way. I think a Kyoshi Warrior would’ve been faster. Or, I dunno, a messenger hawk? My metalbending students are perfectly capable of reading my mail to me.”

“I was punishing him,” Zuko says simply. “He had a problem with me bringing Izumi to meetings, so I decided I had a problem with him being at those meetings. Hopefully, you roughed him up enough that he behaves himself in the future.”

Toph grins in his general direction. “Oh, don’t you worry, Hotshot, I doubt he’ll want to risk going on another one of your errands ever again.”

“Good to hear.” Zuko pauses. “What’d you do with him anyway?”

“I left him in the dust!” Toph says cheerfully. “Now where’s Suki? I’ve got a bone to pick with that girl.”

Zuko puts his hands up. “Hey, you’d know better than me. I’m sure she’s around here somewhere, but my vision ends where the walls begin.” He hurries after Toph when she suddenly turns and begins advancing on the palace with a purpose. Well, guess she found Suki. “Wait, what’s up with you and Suki?”

“Suki!” Toph yells. Zuko follows where her accusatory finger is pointed and sees Suki perched on the roof of a guard tower. Suki turns her head and almost falls off the roof.

“Toph!?” Deftly, she leaps down and lands in front of Toph and Zuko. “I didn’t realize—Hey!” Suki leaps out of the way as a boulder goes flying at her. “What was that for?”

“Yeah, what _was_ that for? Stop throwing my palace around.”

“Not ‘til she apologizes!” Toph says. She rips up another chunk of earth and aims it at Suki. “You know what you did.”

“No, I—Oh, come on!” Suki groans. “We’ve been over this. Why are you still mad about it? You weren’t even there when it happened! Sokka and I are still friends, and the breakup was mutual. It just wasn’t working!”

Toph rolls her eyes. “That’s funny, because when I left Ba Sing Se, Snoozles was still moping around like a baby—no offense, Izumi—and even shopping couldn’t cheer him up. That doesn’t sound so mutual to me.”

“Well, don’t you think I might still be a little upset about it too? Just because it was mutual, doesn’t mean it was an easy decision to make. But we needed the space from each other, and if Sokka’s still crying, then it’s because me being gone gets him thinking about Yue. And that’s got nothing to do with me.”

Zuko looks between the two young women, both poised for a fight. Toph looks ready to throw her rocks, and Suki’s got her fans at the ready. Images flash through his head of them spinning and kicking, throwing rocks and fists until one of them goes down. He’s not about to let that happen in front of Izumi. “Okay,” he intervenes, stepping between them. “Slow down. Suki, you and Sokka broke up?” That’s certainly the first he’s heard of it. Katara hadn’t mentioned it at all while she was staying.

“Yeah, it was right after Aang, Katara, and Toph visited you. Before Izumi…. was born.”

“O…kay.” Zuko chooses to ignore Suki’s near slip-up. “And Toph, you’re particularly mad about this, why? Also, please put my floor back. There aren’t any other earthbenders in the city to fix that right now.”

“Because,” Toph says sourly. “She’s doing just fine, and Snoozles isn’t. Doesn’t seem right.” She’s still glaring at Suki, but she does drop the chunk of earth back where she got it from and even replaces the bit that she already threw.

Zuko’s at a loss. He’s never been much good at mediating in the first place, and he really doesn’t know how to handle a fight between two of the fiercest people he knows without getting his ass kicked by both of them. “How about we talk about this over some tea,” he suggests. Might as well do this Iroh-style. “I need to feed Izumi anyway. Follow me.”

Suki takes up rank on one side of him, while Toph trudges along on his other side. Neither are looking at each other, and Zuko feels magnificently uncomfortable with the war being waged across him. If only he could redirect the crackling tension like lightning to diffuse the situation.

“So how’s life, Toph?” he asks with forced cheerfulness. “I heard from Katara that you left Ba Sing Se a bit ago. You’re still teaching metalbending?”

“Yeah. My students aren’t great yet, but it’s okay,” she says. “Beats being in the city. I got bored of Ba Sing Se.”

“Oh.” Zuko doesn’t know how to respond to her brevity. “Everything going smoothly then?” he tries. “No issues in the city?”

“Not unless you count Suki,” Toph mumbles. Suki folds her arms and glares around Zuko at Toph.

“Here we are!” he says quickly, speeding up to let them into his quarters. “Make yourselves at home, and I’ll start a pot of tea. Any preferences?” He doesn’t get an answer from either of his friends, who’ve situated themselves on opposites sides of the room. He decides on a nice chamomile blend. Everyone could certainly do with some relaxation.

Once the tea is brewing, he quickly fixes Izumi’s formula and sits down to feed her. Suki and Toph are still resolutely ignoring each other. Annoyed at their insistence at fighting in front of Izumi, Zuko thinks to himself that their spat is a tad overdramatic. They’re even going so far as to face opposing walls, which is just ridiculous. He’s not about to piss off a Kyoshi Warrior and a powerful earthbender at the same time, though, so he decides not to tell them off directly. But if he could just find some common ground to get them to be civil, that’d be nice. What’s the most neutral topic he can think of? Of course!

The tea is done brewing by the time he finishes feeding Izumi, so he pours three cups and serves his friends before resuming his position in the rocking chair to burp Izumi.

“I haven’t seen Aang in a while,” he begins casually. “I’d love to hear how he’s been. How’s the public treating him? It’s hard to gauge those kinds of things from here.”

“Twinkle Toes?” Toph says. She downs her cup in one swift gulp and burps loudly, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. “Oh he’s great. I mean, when he’s not making out with Katara everywhere. That’s kind of weird. But the people of Ba Sing Se certainly like him, and everywhere I’ve been, people can’t stop talking about him. Even the more difficult subjects of yours are starting to come around.”

Zuko smiles. He’s glad his people are finally accepting Aang. As long as it had taken to prove himself a good Fire Lord, Aang’s still working on proving himself to the Fire Nation.

“I’ve talked to a lot of Earth Kingdom people,” Suki says, taking a sip of tea. “Some of the smaller villages don’t think Aang’s doing enough. He’s spent all his time focusing on rebuilding the cities, like Omashu and Ba Sing Se, and there are places like Kyoshi Island—not Kyoshi itself, but towns of similar size—that feel neglected.”

“Aang’s doing great work in Ba Sing Se,” Toph snaps. She folds her arms indignantly. “You can’t expect him to be everywhere. And he has to start where the most damage was done.”

“I never said he wasn’t doing good work,” Suki counters. “On the contrary, I think Aang needs to finish helping Ba Sing Se before he even thinks about spreading his influence any more. If the Earth Kingdom doesn’t have a strong heart, no amount of work will help the smaller places. All I was saying is that maybe he needs to be doing small things, like sending the Air Acolytes to those places instead of having them stay in the temples. I know he wants to restore the temples, but there are still people who need to see that the Avatar isn’t just focused on his past with the Air Nomads.”

“Well, it’s not hurting anyone to see the Air temples rebuilt,” Toph says. “If you really cared, you’d send your Kyoshi Warriors out to help Aang.”

“How dare you!” Suki’s eyes flash with anger. “The Kyoshi Warriors are needed here, with Zuko. Or have you forgotten about—”

“Enough,” Zuko all but whispers, but he’s loud enough to be heard. He doesn’t have to say anything else because they know a line has been crossed. Both women look ashamed and horrified at themselves. “I didn’t ask Toph to come here so that you two could fight and yell in front of my daughter. In fact, I had a project in mind that would involve you two collaborating, but I see now that you two have some issues to resolve with one another before that can happen.”

“What?” Toph jumps to her feet. “Zuko, we can work together if you need us to. Right, Suki?”

“Of course. We have our differences, but if you need us to put them aside, we can.”

“No.” Zuko shakes his head as he stands and goes to tuck Izumi into her crib for a nap. “I don’t think you can. You need time to be around each other as friends first. The world is changing, and you two have grown apart. I’ll give you a few weeks to settle your quarrels. Then, if my palace if still standing, I’ll know I can trust you and I’ll let you know about my project.”

Suki sets the rest of her tea aside and rises when Zuko turns back to face them. “We understand, and… we’re sorry.” Toph nods. “Yeah. Sorry, Sparky.”

“Thank you.” Zuko hugs each of them in turn. “I know how hard these last few years have been on all of us. I don’t blame either of you for how you’ve diverged ideologically, or for fighting. None of us are perfect, and we’re all still learning how to rebuild ourselves and our lives. I’m still working through my own issues. So I need you both to reflect separately for a while. Toph, one of my guards can escort you to your quarters.”

Toph actually leaves without a fuss, which surprises Zuko. Even though she’s seventeen now and has had years to get over her childhood, she still struggles with taking orders, or sometimes even suggestions. She’s defied countless authority figures in the years since the war ended—the Chief of the Northern Water Tribe, several minor Earth Kingdom officials, King Bumi (though he was actually rather pleased with Toph’s attitude), even the Earth Queen herself—and Zuko knows that he, as her friend, is less likely than all of them to receive any deference from her. That she goes quietly, accompanied by Fire Nation guards, is mind-boggling. The world is full of surprises.

Suki still hovers near the door. “Zuko, I didn’t mean to bring up…” She trails off.

Closing his eyes to stave off the tears, Zuko shakes his head. “It’s fine. We all lose control sometimes.” Not even he can deny the tremble in his lip or the waver in his voice. He sucks in a breath. “Can you watch over Izumi for a bit?” he asks. “I need to be somewhere.”

Suki’s eyes feel like they’re burning a hole through him. “Okay,” she says. As she passes him to sit by Izumi’s crib, she squeezes his hand. They stay like that for a moment, neither knowing exactly what to say. “I know we’ve all told you this,” Suki turns to face him fully, “But there’s no reason for you to isolate yourself. You’ve got friends—we want to help you get through this. So… thank you for letting me help you right now. I know how hard it is for you to let go of Izumi.”

It’s too overwhelming to be in the room with Suki and her sympathy, so Zuko pulls his hand away and strides to the door. She has to understand why he can’t handle the tenderness of the moment, she has to. His grief is his alone, and he’s not ready to let even his closest friends in. But he catches himself before he leaves, remembering to be grateful to her for her understanding. “Thanks,” he mumbles before slipping out.

He heads for the one place besides his quarters where he’s afforded complete privacy—a secluded courtyard restricted to everyone except the royal family, those the royal family invite in, and a single caretaker that Zuko has never actually seen. The place reminds him of his mother and of better days, when he had nothing to worry about except learning how to be a worthy prince and strong firebender. Those duties had seemed so daunting to him as a child, but he’d been safe, protected. Compared to now, his life had been easy. Even if he’d had to watch his sweet baby sister become a monster.

The courtyard looks much the same as it always has. It’s a time capsule suspended in the middle of a palace and a nation that’ve become unrecognizable over the course of twenty years. Whoever’s been tending the place has taken great care in preserving the idyllic pond that still houses a family of turtleducks, the keyaki tree overlooking the pond, and the surrounding gardens blooming with beautiful life. Zuko thinks of the mantra he’d heard years ago. _There is no war in Ba Sing Se_.

There is no war in this courtyard.

And there never was, Zuko realizes. All those who had sought out the courtyard’s sanctuary had been innocents in the war—at least, as innocent as any Fire National could be—Ursa and her children being its only visitors for many, many years. Zuko doubts his father had ever spent time here, even as a boy. If he had, he’d have been a better man for it. Zuko certainly is.

This is where he learned inner peace. All of his tension is drained simply from existing in such a perfect place, where the horrors of the world are but memories. How he wishes he could stay here forever.

The turtleducklings chirp at him as he approaches the pond, curious but still unsure about him. They’d only been born a couple months ago and aren’t as trusting as their parents, who’ve known Zuko since he’d returned to the Fire Nation for that brief period before leaving again to join Aang and his friends.

Zuko circles around to the keyaki tree and reaches into the knothole where he’s been stashing a sack of bread crumbs. The turtleducks approach the shore as he sits to feed them. After tossing a few handfuls, he leans back against the tree and closes his eyes. He used to think about his mother when he would come here. Now he thinks about his wife.

He’d brought her here on the one year anniversary of the day they met. Though he’d wanted to show her his favorite place in the palace earlier on, he’d also been protective of the courtyard. As much as he’d grown to love Izumi, he hadn’t been sure if he was ready for two very separate parts of his life to meet. The courtyard had signified his childhood innocence, and sanctuary from having to face the horrid blemish that his forefathers had inflicted upon the world. Izumi had been a new kind of sanctuary, whom Zuko could find solace in whenever the weight of the crown became too heavy for him to carry alone. But at the same time, she had been part of a world where Zuko would always have to take ownership of what the Fire Nation had done.

If those two worlds came together, would one mar the other? Would seeing his lives in the same place spoil them both? Zuko had been scared to find out.

Yet the first step Izumi had taken into the courtyard had been almost underwhelming. And Zuko had loved that. It had been as if Izumi was meant to be there. She had fit in that perfectly. The plants seemed to gain a sort of energy from her, and the animals had welcomed her into their presence. Not even the newborn turtleducklings had run from her when she crouched down at the water’s edge to say hello.

The moment Izumi had looked up and smiled at Zuko where he stood watching her from across the pond had been the moment Zuko knew he wanted to be with her forever.

He’d proposed under the keyaki tree a couple months later, when Izumi was next in the Capital. It’d been awkward, but by Zuko’s standards, only mildly so. Izumi, when she’d been—much to Zuko’s embarrassment—recounting the scene to Team Avatar, had said she was impressed by how he’d only stuttered a dozen times and had even managed to stay a few shades lighter than his vibrant robes. He hadn’t fallen into the pond either when she’d said yes and jumped into his arms for a kiss.

Sokka had been particularly impressed by that. “I once almost made him fall into the ocean,” he’d boasted, earning laughter from most of the table.

“You shut your mouth,” Zuko had grumbled in response. “Aang did most of the work.”

“Yeah, but I’ve definitely made you fall into your royal bath before.”

Still flushing, he’d banned Sokka from his wedding, which Sokka had only laughed about. He’d still come, of course, citing a significant loophole in Zuko’s phrasing of the ban. “You,” Zuko’d told Sokka. “Are most certainly not going to be there when I put that crown in Izumi’s hair.”

So Sokka had cheerfully written down Zuko’s orders, showed up at his wedding, left when Izumi was being crowned, and returned for the rest of the celebration.

Zuko and Izumi had slipped away to the courtyard while the reception was still in full swing. Aang had shaken Zuko’s hand before pulling him into a hug and promising he’d keep the guests entertained.

That evening with Izumi had been much like this evening, except now, Zuko is alone. No clouds are visible yet, but a sizzle in the air promises a coming storm. The air, warm and still, lays heavily upon him, and he shrugs off his heavy outer robes. He really should ditch them altogether as one of the many Fire Nation traditions he’s been breaking away from. Lighter clothes are more practical anyway.

He sighs and lays back on the grass, staring up at the stars. Izumi had pointed out constellations to him the night of their wedding. It’d been the closest they got to a honeymoon, with Zuko’s duties preventing him from leaving the Capital. There was the waterbender, the koala-sheep, Tui and La, and many others that Zuko can’t remember. Having been locked away by Zhao for so long, Izumi’d had time to learn about the permanent things, like the stars.

She’d shown him that she could firebend at night as powerfully as in the day. The stars, she’d said, were just very distant suns, and by focusing on the stars, a firebender could learn to keep their power under the moon. It was something she’d discovered in Wan Shi Tong’s library, when Zhao had brought her with him to look for ways to aid the Fire Nation. She’d been young, barely able to read, but she could understand the pictures and memorize the order of the characters until she could later make sense of them.

Zhao had never gotten that knowledge from his daughter. He hadn’t even bothered to ask what she might’ve learned while he was obsessed with finding the moon and ocean spirits, an oversight that Izumi had been grateful for. As a child, she wouldn’t have known any better than to tell him what she’d discovered if he’d demanded the knowledge from her.

With her secret knowledge, Izumi had become a master in her own right, overcoming the neglect in her training from Zhao. If she hadn’t grown up to be so unconditionally kind and forgiving of her father’s poor parenting, Zhao wouldn’t have stood a chance against her. She’d promised Zuko that once things settled down and they could go on a proper vacation, she’d teach him how to bend from the stars.

But then everything had happened so fast and gone so wrong. Hou-Ting had ascended to the Earth Kingdom throne and started causing major problems for Zuko. She didn’t want him to be involved with the reconstruction of the Earth Kingdom at all. Firebenders would always be her enemy, and she couldn’t bear the thought of continuing to accept Zuko’s help.

Meetings had been called, diplomats sent. The Water Tribes, under the leadership of Pakku and Arnook in the North and Sokka and Katara in the South, had made a big fuss about how much help Zuko had been to them and how he was just trying to right the wrongs of his forefathers. Bumi had quite literally sung his praises—Omashu was as productive and prosperous as it’d ever been, all thanks to Zuko’s reparation efforts. Toph had sworn up and down that if Zuko was lying about having earnest intentions, she’d know. And when Hou-Ting had sneered and said that was impossible, Toph had nearly crushed her gold throne with her still in it.

It was only when Aang stepped in as the Avatar to vouch for Zuko that Hou-Ting had backed down and grudgingly allowed Zuko to continue his work in Ba Sing Se.

Problems had arisen within the Fire Nation too. Ozai still had followers, who would do anything to get Zuko off the throne. He’d fought off multiple assassination attempts, he’d had to thoroughly vet and then increase his palace guards. The Capital had been closed and every resident questioned.

Then Team Avatar had had to stop visiting as the rest of the world was gripped by similar unrest. Hou-Ting had inexplicably exiled all Fire Nationals and firebenders from Ba Sing Se, with the exception of Aang, leaving Team Avatar and the Kyoshi Warriors as the only ones carrying out the restoration efforts.

Izumi had become pregnant—a small spot of joy in the midst of all that was bad in the world. But almost immediately after her pregnancy had been announced, the assassins had begun to come for her too. As the person carrying the heir to the Fire Nation throne, she’d been a threat to Ozai’s supporters. Zuko had assigned her a permanent guard, and she wasn’t to leave the palace without a full military escort. He’d put the same restrictions on himself, and he’d issued a decree stating that all visits had to be announced by messenger hawk and approved by the Fire Lord. The only exceptions would be for the Avatar and his entourage.

It hadn’t been enough, though. Zuko had let his guard down in the weeks before his daughter’s birth. They’d gone so long without any attacks, he’d been certain Ozai’s supporters had become scattered and given up on trying to assassinate the royal family. Then, mere days before Izumi was to give birth, a team of assassins had come. They’d been armed with knives and swords and firebending, and they’d surprised Zuko and Izumi while they slept.

Izumi had been the first one they’d gone for. She’d fought valiantly, but exhausted as she’d been from her pregnancy, she hadn’t stood a chance against four assassins. Zuko’d been facing his own set of attackers. It was only when Izumi fell that he’d let out a scream of rage and sent white fire from his hands. The assassins, knowing that they were suddenly in a losing battle, had leapt out the window and away from the palace. As much as Zuko had wanted to follow them and destroy them, he’d known he had to save Izumi.

And then, after struggling for days, Izumi had died. The baby had been delivered safely after Katara induced labor, but Izumi hadn’t made it. All the names that they’d discussed had been abandoned because Zuko couldn’t not name his baby after her mother. Otherwise, she’d be gone forever.

Zuko lets out a strangled sob, curling up on his side. Hot tears gather at the corners of his eyes, pooling precariously on the edge of his lids before pouring freely toward the ground. He howls with the grief he hasn’t been able to give himself over to before tonight. The rage of losing his love scorches his heart more and more with each passing second.

Never in his life has he been in this much pain. Not when his mother had vanished, not when he’d been burnt and exiled by his own father, not when he’d seen Iroh battered and imprisoned, or had to permanently lock away his father and sister. All of those things were for a greater purpose, and he was able to heal from them. But Izumi’s death will tear at his heart for the rest of his life.

He wants to burn something, to take his grief out on the world. To release the anger that he’s never really been able to grow out of. How is it fair to have had his greatest source of happiness so cruelly ripped away from him? Except for Uncle Iroh, Zuko hadn’t had a proper family since his mother. He’d ached for real love for so long. Then Izumi had swept her way into his life and swept him off his feet. And now, barely two years later, she’s gone. Gone.

All the fight goes out of him, and he sobs, curls up even tighter, clutches at himself as if the smaller he makes himself, the less likely he is to shatter and fall apart. It’s not enough. The tears are beyond his control, as are the loud, ugly sobs that shake his whole body, and when the storm breaks overhead, it feels like he’s breaking too.

The rain soaks through his clothes in seconds, even sheltered as he is under the keyaki tree. He deserves it, for letting Izumi die. If the lightning crackling through the sky were to strike him, he’d let it, and he wouldn’t try to redirect it. He’d let it course through his heart and destroy him. Anything to see Izumi again.

He cries himself to sleep in the rain.

He regains dim consciousness to the sound of frantic voices. A blurred pair of bare feet come into his vision and strong hands grab onto his arm and drag him upright.

“Suki, Ty Lee, help me out here.”

“Be careful with him, Toph!”

Another pair of hands take hold of his other arm, and he’s lifted almost off the ground, his arms slung over Suki’s and Toph’s shoulders as they slip their other arms under his knees to carry him out of the courtyard. Ty Lee runs ahead, chasing people out of their path.

“Is he awake?” Suki lays the back of her hand on his forehead “He’s burning up.”

“And shivering,” Toph adds. “I dunno what he was thinking, sleeping out in the rain like that. And I thought Sokka was the biggest idiot I know.”

“We’d better get him in bed.”

Zuko is in and out of varying states of consciousness as his friends wrestle him out of his wet clothes and into his bed-robe and the comfort of his warm, dry bed. As his eyes are sliding closed, he sees Toph picking Izumi up and carrying her out of the room. He wants to reach out and take his daughter, cradle her close and tell her how much he loves her, but his limbs feel too heavy to even move.

“I’m gonna take care of her until the Fire Sages get here,” Toph says to Suki. She looks at Zuko and shakes her head. “I think it’s time to call Aang.” She leaves, and Zuko falls into a restless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said there was gonna be angst, didn't I? And don't worry, I haven't forgotten that this is a Zukka fic. But when I say slow-burn, I'm not fuckin around. Also, uh if y'all notice any timeline weirdness or inconsistencies, please point them out. I promise I won't be offended--I've just been shuffling things and sometimes little details get missed, so feel free to comment about anything you see. Catch me on tumblr [@lastoftherealblues](http://lastoftherealblues.tumblr.com/) (staff can't get rid of me that easy)


	4. The Fever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait! Finals kicked my ass, and I injured my hand and was temporarily banned from doing things, but I finally got this chapter done. Also, I was lowkey panicking because I thought I messed up the timeline (it's ok tho, I figured it out). Hopefully I get the next one up quicker since I'm on break. Enjoy!

The fever rages through Zuko for weeks, blazing like a wildfire under his skin. Over the first few days, the Fire Sages come many times to watch over him and provide spiritual advice to his physician. His physician works tirelessly during the first week, and Zuko sees more of her face than anything else in those few moments when he can think clearly enough to recognize anyone. She murmurs comforting words to him while placing cold rags all over his body and coaxes him into taking strange, bitter medicines. At night, she rests, and one of Zuko’s friends, either Ty Lee, Toph, or Suki, takes her place.

An Earth Kingdom physician is called in after that first week when it becomes clear that the Fire Nation healing techniques aren’t working. The new physician is a stout earthbender with a touch much less gentle than Zuko’s regular physician. He replaces the rags with smooth, heavy stones and presses firm hands over Zuko’s body, and he orders Zuko to be moved from his bed to a shallow pool of cold mud. That almost helps, and Zuko’s haze lifts for several hours. But just when everyone is sure that the Fire Lord will pull through, the fever returns with a fury, this time sending him into the throes of hallucinations. They move him back to his rooms, where he calls out strange names and names of people who are dead or locked up.

In his delirium, Zuko imagines Katara is back, leaning over him with Momo perched on her shoulder, tail hanging down alongside her braid. Katara is uncharacteristically disheveled, frantic and sweating, stray hairs falling like ink from a braid that looks days old. Zuko giggles. The hair loops are still there.

She’s wearing an engagement necklace, which isn’t all that weird, except Zuko doesn’t recognize this one. The strap is narrower, the stone a lighter blue and etched with a strange design. He reaches out to touch it, but she grabs his hand and gently lowers it back to the bed. Her hand feels real, like she’s actually there, but that can’t be right because Katara’s only worn green once in her life. She’s the Water Tribe girl, she’s supposed to be wearing blue.

Izumi stands silently at Katara’s side, gazing down at him with sad, loving eyes. For many days, Zuko doesn’t question her presence. Of course his wife is there to take care of him. But then, like a blow to the head, it occurs to him that she’s supposed to be dead, not here holding his hand and leaving scorch marks on his face when she kisses him. She never says anything and keeps constant vigil at his bedside, watching Katara carry in large buckets of water in for a dozen healing sessions a day. Sometimes they’re the same person, all at once themselves and each other, and Zuko can’t look at either of them.

“Am I dead?” Zuko asks.

“No,” Izumi says, Katara says. Zuko cries.

Sometimes Aang is there too. He sits across from Katara, on Zuko’s other side. He and Katara converse, but the words are as unintelligible as Momo’s chittering. Momo leaps off of Katara’s shoulder and glides from candle to candle, casting the room into a bluish tinge as the flames leap and flare after Momo. The arrow on Aang’s head slides off and floats around the room, spinning like a compass, pointing off toward Ba Sing Se. It turns into a miniature Appa and chases Momo around the room. Aang leaves and comes back with a funny hat, which Katara laughs at but Izumi doesn’t. The hat is gone the next time Aang comes in. So is the arrow, but Zuko can see the ghost of it sitting atop Aang’s head and smiling at everyone.

Baby Izumi runs into the room and jumps on the bed, shaking Zuko until he wakes up and acknowledges her. Zuko feels confused, but he’s too happy to see his daughter that he doesn’t mind. She is two years old, and she prods him and stares at him with Azula’s eyes. “Daddy. Daddy, wake up. I’m a firebender.” Then she bursts into a pillar of flames and burns down the tapestries.

He blinks and the tapestries are back, and Izumi is gone. Only Aang and Katara remain. Katara is wearing red and looks like she’s preparing for another healing session. Aang is on the foot of the bed meditating, wearing his arrow and no hat. Zuko closes his eyes.

~

When he opens them, he’s in the spirit world. Or, he assumes so, at least. The sudden clarity of thought has Zuko gasping for air. Everything is colorful and bright, nature untouched by humans. He can feel the absence of his bending without having to test it, a phenomenon that Aang once told him about.

He’s never been to the spirit world before, but he’s certain he isn’t hallucinating anymore because he can feel the spiritual energy as surely as he’s ever felt anything. There’s a single point of familiar energy tugging at him, so he follows it.

As he’s walking, he notices spirits hiding in the trees, peeking out at him from the safety of their branches. Those on the ground dart out of his path or slink off into the shadows and wait for him to pass. A few follow him at a cautious distance, but none attempt to communicate with him. They’re too scared to. It’s just as well, he thinks. The last encounter he’d had with a spirit hadn’t been entirely pleasant.

He finds Aang waiting for him in the center of a ring of towering stones, eyes closed, in the same meditative position that his physical body was in. No spirits are in sight, but Zuko can feel them all around. They know the presence of the Avatar. Looking about anxiously, he sits down across from Aang. Aang doesn’t immediately respond, so Zuko clears his throat and tries to think of something to say that will get his attention.

“So you really were sitting on my bed?” he jokes. Aang is silent and still a moment longer. Then he cracks an eye open and grins.

“Oh, good. I’m glad to see your spirit could make it here. I was worried you wouldn’t be strong enough to follow me.”

“Haha, very funny. I know I’m not the most spiritual bender in the world, but I do know how to meditate. I didn’t spend all that time with Uncle Iroh without learning a few things.”

“That’s fair, but really, I was talking about how sick you are.” Aang leans forward and props his elbow on his knee, resting his chin on his hand. “You look good here. Better, I mean. No offense, but you look like shit out there in the physical world.”

“Yes, sick people generally do not look great,” Zuko agrees. Gesturing around at the bright spirit world, he poses the question he’s had on his mind since he felt Aang’s presence. “So why all this?” he asks. “The meditation, the spirit world. Why’d you bring me here?”

“You don’t seem to be hearing any of us in the physical world,” Aang explains. His face is suddenly very serious. Zuko feels uneasy seeing that expression on the normally jovial airbender’s face. “You’ve been very sick. Not even Katara’s sure how to help you, and she’s been trying all the healing tricks she knows. It’s a fever, and it’s intense. You’re too hot to touch directly. And you keep saying nonsense and talking to people who aren’t really there.”

“Oh.” Zuko thinks about Izumi and has to force himself not to cry in front of Aang. Though he has a feeling Aang already knows exactly where his mind drifted to. “So you called me here because you think there’s something wrong with my spirit?”

“Something like that. Your mind and body are breaking down, but everything you’re going through is related to a deep spiritual conflict. Which is part of the reason I needed to see you here. If I can get your spirit on the right track to recovery, your body will be fine. I tried just talking to you in the physical world, but it didn’t work and Katara yelled at me for stressing you out. And I figured bringing you to the spirit world would help strengthen your spirit. C’mon.” Aang stands and offers his hand to Zuko. “Let’s walk.”

They walk in silence until Zuko speaks. Even though Aang said he wanted to talk to Zuko, it’s clear that he expects Zuko to be the one to breach the silence. He’s patient too, while Zuko struggles to gather his thoughts and muster the courage to ask about his current state. “Am I dying, Aang?” he asks.

Aang shrugs. “That’s up to you really.” Zuko sighs and resists the urge to roll his eyes. Typical Avatar talk. “Since you won’t respond to any kind of healing, I’d say the only way for you to get better is if you decide you want to.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Zuko snaps. “Of course I want to get better. I’m the Fire Lord. I’m—I’m a father!”

“I know.” Aang offers him a weak smile. “I wasn’t saying that you’re trying to die, I’m just saying that you’re in conflict with yourself, which is what’s making you so sick.”

Aang’s words remind Zuko of his ordeal in Ba Sing Se back when he was a teenager. Iroh had told him that he was at war with himself, and the dissonance had made him too ill to even leave his bed. But how could this be the same situation? He’d made his choice to be good, and even if the dichotomy of good and bad has become less simplistic than he’d once believed, he knows that his work as the Fire Lord truly is done for the good of the world.

“Explain,” he demands. It’s not his intention to be short with Aang, but he can feel the edges of his fever creeping back in, dragging him back to the physical plane. It makes his head hurt and sends a spike of panic through him. He doesn’t want to lose his connection to the spirit world just yet. Not before he gets some answers from Aang.

“You have to let her go,” Aang says. There’s a sense of urgency in his voice that tells Zuko that they can both feel him slipping away. “I think the reason you can’t get better is that you’re trying too hard to hold onto Izumi. But she’s gone, Zuko. You can’t bring her back, no matter how much you may want to.”

For the hundredth time, Zuko feels his heart shatter. Aang may be right, but it hurts more than Zuko can ever say to hear the words. “It’s not as easy as you think,” he says. He sounds pitiful to his own ears. “I can’t just…” He grasps for an excuse. “What would you do if something happened to Katara? If you felt like you’d failed to protect her?”

Aang’s eyebrows shoot up. Obviously something new has occurred to him. “Is that how you feel? You think this is your fault?”

“Answer the question, Aang.”

Aang gapes at him. “Well, I actually thought I had lost her, back before the end of the war. I was at the Eastern Air Temple with Guru Pathik—he was teaching me to open my chakras. And I had almost succeeded when I saw a vision of Katara in danger in Ba Sing Se.” Aang sighs. “I locked my access to the Avatar State by leaving to save her.”

Zuko frowns. “Thanks for trying to make me feel better. But that’s not what I asked. If, spirits forbid, someone killed Katara, would you be able to let go? Could you rest until her murderers were brought to justice? Could you face every day for the rest of your life knowing that it’s your fault she’s dead? Would you even want to?” Zuko turns away, so Aang can’t see his tears. He feels too exposed as it is, like his friend is able to see exactly what he feels.

Aang sighs. “I… don’t know.” He places a hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “I really don’t. But I do know two things. One: I know that if I had a little daughter like Izumi, I’d want to keep living for her, no matter how much I missed Katara. And two: I know that none of this is your fault. You did all you could to protect her. There’s nothing more you could’ve done.”

“No!” Zuko’s yelling now, the fever spreading back through him. “I should’ve had more guards. Should’ve gone after Ozai’s supporter’s without mercy. I should’ve guarded her with my life. It should’ve been me that was killed, not her!”

“Zuko!” Aang’s face is pale with horror. “You can’t really mean that.”

“I do!” Zuko roars, voice bursting with a terrible mix of sadness and rage. “I do mean it! And if you don’t like that, then you can go shove it up your ass, because I don’t deserve to be the one who survived. I don’t deserve to stand here and lead the Fire Nation when my wife is dead. How can I be a worthy Fire Lord if I couldn’t even protect my own family?”

A rush of heat explodes from Zuko’s chest, and he staggers and collapses to the ground, the fever having pushed its way back through every fiber of his body. He’s too weak. He can’t keep himself in the spirit world. The pull to his body is overwhelming him, clawing him away from Aang.

“Hold on there, buddy,” Aang frets. He kneels down next to Zuko and props him up. “You gotta hang on. If you can stand, stand. I need to talk to you some more.”

Zuko shakes his head. The spirit world is fading around him. “I think you were right before.” He looks up into Aang’s face. “The reason I’m not getting better is because I don’t want to.” His voice crumbles. “I just want to see Izumi.” The tears in Aang’s eyes are the last thing he sees before the spirit world wanes into nothing.

~

He’s back in his body, tethered to the physical plane and once again consumed by the agony of the fever. The sensation is sharper, clearer than before, as is his awareness of he world. He screams, but all that comes out is a strangled moan of pain. Only one part of his body feels even reasonably alright—his left leg, just below the knee, where Katara has his limb encased in cold healing water. She’s working as hard as she can, but as soon as her hands leave that place, the pain returns.

The bed shifts when Aang gets up and leaves. Zuko wants to call out to him and apologize for what happened in the spirit world—he doesn’t really want to die, he just wasn’t thinking clearly—but his tongue is thick in his mouth, his jaw stiff and aching. He lets out another weak moan.

“Shh.” Katara leans over him and replaces the rag on his forehead with a fresh, colder one. “Don’t worry about Aang. He’ll be back. I dunno what he said to you in the spirit world, but your fever’s down a bit now. So,” she smiles and pats his arm, “Keep on fighting. You’re gonna pull through.”

When Katara gets up, telling him that she’s just going to get some fresh water and that she’ll be right back, he watches her closely as she straightens his sheets before leaving. His vision is blurry, but when he squints, he can see that he most definitely did not hallucinate Katara’s new necklace. The differences are subtle enough, but he’s so used to Katara’s old necklace that the change is stark and unmistakable. Did Aang propose to her?

He glances around, ignoring the stiff pain in his neck, to examine the rest of his room. Momo is dozing on the window sill, so he wasn’t a hallucination either. He knows he imagined both Izumis because one of them is a baby and the other—he cuts off that train of thought. There’s nothing to be gained by throwing himself back into the flames of his fever.

The other details are hazy, fading quickly as dreams do into smoke. He can’t recall if he’s seen Suki, Toph, or Ty Lee since the Earth Kingdom physician came.

Another wave of hot pain rushes through his body, and he groans. He needs water. Where did Katara go? If she could just cover him in that blessedly cool water, he knows he’d feel a lot better. At the very least, he wouldn’t feel as if the fire inside him is alive and trying to destroy him. He’s a firebender, he should be able to control this. But until he can, he needs Katara and her healing water.

When she does return, Zuko wants to cry out in relief. Not only does she have a bucket of water in one hand, she has little Izumi on her other hip, and Aang, Toph, Ty Lee, and Suki in tow. Mother turtleduck, indeed.

“Here, Aang, hold this.” She hands the bucket to her boyfriend—fiancé?—and sits on the edge of Zuko’s bed. “You awake in there? You’re okay to hold Izumi now, if you’re strong enough.”

Zuko nods feebly, and Katara props him up on some pillows and repositions his arm so that he can cradle Izumi. Izumi coos softly and snuggles closer to Zuko. So sweet, so innocent, so unaware of her tumultuous world. How Zuko wishes he could protect her forever.

When Katara bends some water to his mouth, Zuko accepts gladly. Never in his life has water tasted so amazing. It’s only a small amount of water, but it soothes down his throat and into his core, warding off the worst of the inferno. He wonders if Katara’s been providing water like this the whole time and he’s only just now lucid enough to know, or if this water is special somehow.

As soon as Katara steps away, Ty Lee’s round face appears in Zuko’s vision, and she blinks at him curiously. “I think it’s working.” She places her hand on his side. “His chi is flowing better already.”

“That’s good to hear,” Katara says. She looks older and wearier than Zuko’s ever seen her, slumped against the bedpost with her eyes closed. “It took Sokka a lot of arguing to get even that tiny bit of spirit water. I’d hate for him to have come all the way here for it not to work.” She sighs. “Honestly, I don’t know why Master Pakku had to be so difficult. If there was ever a need for some spirit water, this was it. Sokka said he explained how dire the situation was quite clearly, and I even sent a messenger hawk with my professional assessment of this as an emergency situation. I guess Master Pakku will just continue to be unreasonable.”

Zuko remembers his first encounter with spirit water well. Katara had offered him a chance to have his scar healed. A sinking pang of guilt still blooms in him when he thinks about how cruel his betrayal of her kindness had been. It’s funny that once again, Katara is the one to give him spirit water, but their circumstances couldn’t be more different from before.

Aang rubs Katara’s shoulders, and she leans back into his touch with a contented sigh. “You need to sleep,” he says. “You’ve been caring for Zuko nonstop for weeks.”

“Just one more healing session,” she promises. “Only to give the spirit water a little boost. It’d probably be perfectly effective without my help, but since this is Zuko, I’d rather play it on the safe side. Here, help me stand.” With Aang’s assistance, she gets to her feet and bends the water in the bucket toward Zuko. She lays it over his forehead and chest, being careful not to disturb Izumi.

“Well, it’s nice to see us all together again.” If he’d had the energy, Zuko would’ve sat bolt upright at the new voice. When did Mai get here? She’s standing at the foot of the bed with her arms folded, looking around the room with an almost amused expression. “I’ll admit, I didn’t think our reunion would be on Zuko’s deathbed.”

Toph snorts, but Katara, not quite as amused, scowls in Mai’s direction. “Could you not? This is _not_ Zuko’s deathbed.” She fixes her glare on Zuko. “You better not die on me, idiot. I didn’t spend all this time hauling buckets of water through your palace for you to quit on me. Besides,” she sends the water back to the bucket and flips her braid over her shoulder, “I’m not prepared to deal with Sokka if you drop before he gets a chance to hassle you.”

Zuko manages a weak smile. There is something exciting about having all of his closest friends here with him in the Fire Nation Capital, even if the circumstances are less than ideal. Not only that, but most everyone is gathered in his room. Only one person is missing.

“Sokka?” he croaks. If he’s been hearing right, Sokka should be here. Zuko hasn’t seen him since his wedding over a year ago. When everyone else had come to visit before Izumi’s birth, Sokka had been hard at work helping his father in the South Pole.

Katara smiles. “He’s resting right now. We set him up in my rooms for the time being. He really wanted to come and see you, but he’s exhausted. After I sent word to the South Pole that I needed him to run and get some spirit water, he got himself a small ship and sailed straight to the Northern Water Tribe. He spent two whole days up there convincing Pakku to give him some spirit water, and once he got it, he sailed directly here. And that whole time, he hardly slept. So he’s catching up on that right now. As soon as he wakes up, though, I’ll bring him in, I promise.”

Zuko can’t believe Sokka did all that just for him. Not that Sokka’s ever been one to pass up an opportunity to help his friends, but still, that’s a lot of effort to put toward one person, even if that person is the Fire Lord. And he’s not the only one, either. Everyone’s done so much more for Zuko than he deserves. They’ve all been here this whole time, even though they didn’t have to be. What did he ever do to earn such wonderful friends?

“Great, you broke him,” Mai deadpans in the wake of Zuko’s awed silence. “You told him that people care about him, and now he’ll never recover. What kind of healer are you, anyway?”

Everyone laughs, and Mai even smiles a little at her own joke. Zuko can’t really laugh too hard without his chest hurting, so he settles for a weak smile as well. With his friends all around and his daughter dozing peacefully in his arm, everything feels almost alright for the first time in a long time.

The only lingering issue is the fever, which, though less intense than before, is still very present. Zuko can feel it smouldering within the sheath of spirit water encasing it, refusing to go out completely. Perhaps Aang is right, and only Zuko himself can rid himself of the fever.

“Aang,” he calls. His friends part to allow Aang to approach him and kneel down next to the bed. “How...” he breathes deeply, forcing the words past the pain in his chest and throat. “Do I… stop this?”

“Fever still there?” Aang asks. Zuko nods. “I’m sorry, but I think you have to figure out the solution on your own. And I’m not just being difficult,” he continues quickly. “I actually can’t tell you how to handle the rest of your sickness because what might work for me won’t work for you. We’re different people with different lives and different troubles.”

“Is there really nothing you can do?” Suki asks. It’s the first she’s spoken since Katara brought her back in. She seems rather sullen, and Zuko suddenly remembers that she and Sokka broke up. Being in the same palace as him must be upsetting. “Not even a suggestion? What if we went and got more spirit water?”

Aang shakes his head. “More spirit water won’t fix this. The only way to completely put out the fever is for Zuko to work in tandem with what spirit water he’s already consumed.”

“And you have no idea what that involves?” Suki sounds skeptical. She’s a warrior, and she’s never been able to accept a complete lack of strategy. Zuko admires that.

“Well… I have a theory. Zuko has to figure out how to balance his inner fire. That’s where the fever must be coming from, or it wouldn’t be so strong. If he can reconnect with his fire and get it back under control, he should be fine. But until then, the spirit water can only keep the flames from sparking back up again.”

“Boy, am I glad I’m an earthbender,” Toph mutters. “Being a firebender sounds terrible.” Zuko actually laughs, painful as it is, even though everyone else looks like they don’t know if they should be alright with Toph joking about Zuko’s condition like that or not. “Say what you want about earthbenders, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have like an inner rock or something that makes me sick.”

“I think you’re too boulder-headed for it to matter either way,” Mai says.

That does get laughs from everyone, most uproariously from Toph. She loves a good joke at her expense, especially if it alludes at all to her earthbending strength.

“Am I… still… hallucinating?” Zuko wheezes, despite the pain that flares with each word. “Or… did Mai… make… two jokes… in one day?”

“No, I think she did,” Ty Lee giggles. “Mai, are you sure _you’re_ feeling alright? Maybe Katara needs to do some healing on you.”

“Oh, you’re hilarious,” Mai says. “I’m perfectly capable of being funny when I want to and you know it. I think you all just like to pick on me.”

“You’re… like Sokka.” Zuko smirks. “You make it… too.. easy.”

“Ooh, ouch,” Katara says. “I’ll have to let him know you said that.”                  

“Blame Toph… She told me… that story.” He grins. “I… would’ve loved to… see his face… when the… serpent… appeared.”

“Yeah, me too,” Toph snarks. “He sounds very expressive.”

“I had hair,” Aang laments. “On top of my head.”

“Wait, what!?” Zuko sputters. It comes out much weaker than he’d intended, and he chokes and dissolves into a fit of coughing. Somehow he’d missed out on hearing that part of Aang’s story. Just the thought of the Avatar with hair is mildly disturbing. It’s just wrong. “You… had hair?”

“In my defense, it was after Azula tried to kill me and knocked me out for a few weeks.” A sly grin spread across his face. “I sacrificed my baldness for your honor.”

Another round of laughter spreads across the room, but as much as Zuko would like to participate, he barely has the capacity to let out a feeble chuckle. Going from the depths of fever-induced hallucinations to the spirit world, and from there to a room full of people, has exhausted him. Katara notices the dip in his energy.

“Okay, I think that’s enough visiting time,” Her voice is warm but firm. “Zuko needs his rest, so everyone say goodbye—in an orderly fashion,” she adds, anticipating a mad dash to Zuko’s bedside.

Aang, being the closest, is the first to lean down and hug Zuko. “I’m glad to have you back,” he says. “You had me worried over there in the spirit world.”

Zuko smiles. “I’m sorry… about that. My mind wasn’t… what it… usually is. Thank you for… helping me.”

“Don’t mention it.” Aang pats Izumi’s head and waves as he backs away. “I’ll see you later, once you’re feeling better.”

Ty Lee is right behind him. She throws herself over Zuko, almost crushing him in her embrace. “Don’t ever scare me like this again,” she commands. “It’s bad for my aura.”

“I’ll try… not to,” Zuko tells her. “I’m sorry… by the way. I shouldn’t… have yelled at you… the last time we spoke.”

Ty Lee plants a big kiss on his cheek. “I forgive you. But only ‘cause you’re pretty.”

“Oh please, I bet he’s hideous.” Toph, ignoring Katara’s orders as usual, muscles her way past Ty Lee to deliver a solid punch to Zuko’s shoulder—thankfully not the arm where Izumi is still sleeping in spite of the commotion around her. “Get better soon, Sparky. I’m still curious to know what project you’ve got planned for me.” She pauses. “I hope it’s not archiving or anything boring like that.”

“You’re blind, Toph,” Suki says. She comes up on Zuko’s other side and hugs him. “I want to thank you for talking some sense into Toph and me. The last few weeks have been good for us.”

“Yup. Nothing quite like your imminent death to bring us together and inspire us to be better friends to one another.”

Suki rolls her eyes at Toph, but the look on her face tells Zuko it’s more affectionate than annoyed. It’s good to see the two of them getting along again.

“I’m… glad you’ve begun… to work out… your differences. Maybe… by the time… I… recover… you’ll be ready… to undertake… my project.”

They both smile at him and at each other. Toph gives him one last punch on the arm, while Suki just squeezes his shoulder, and then they back away so Mai can approach him.

“I know we haven’t spoken in a while,” she begins. She’s looking anywhere but directly at Zuko. “But I’m glad you’re alright. Ty Lee warned me in her letter about how bad things were, but… it was still hard to see you like this.”

“Thanks for coming,” Zuko says. He reaches out to take Mai’s hand. “It means… a lot… to have you… back here.”

“Don’t get all mushy on me,” she warns, but there’s no bite to her words. “I’ll see you in a few days.”

After she leaves, Katara is the only one remaining in the room. She’s already relocated the bucket of water to the corner of the room and is putting all the furniture back where it belongs.

“Katara,” Zuko says. She turns. “Thank you… for everything. I… don’t know what I… would’ve done… without you.”

“Zuko, you don’t have to thank me.” She abandons the sofa, which is significantly harder to move than Ty Lee makes it look, and comes to sit on the edge of the bed. “I’m your friend. You probably don’t realize, but you were in pretty terrible shape when I got here, and I—I would never have let you stay like that.” She sighs. “I know we’ve had a lot of difficulties in the course of our lives and our friendship, but it was genuinely upsetting to see you struggling for your life like that. And… after what happened to Izumi… and knowing how that affected you… I knew how hard it was gonna be to bring you back. I’d never had my healing abilities challenged like this before, but giving up on you was just out of the question. It would’ve been awful for little Izumi here to lose both parents, and it would’ve been awful for all of us to lose you.”

Zuko doesn’t know what to say. He remembers the days when he and Katara would’ve killed each other on sight. Right now, he feels almost as young and foolish as he was back then. Katara, though, has really grown into herself. Where once she had been just a young girl struggling to shoulder the responsibility of an adult, she’s now so happy and at ease with herself. Not only is she the single most terrifyingly powerful waterbender in the world, she’s also one of the kindest people Zuko’d ever had the privilege to know. And unless Zuko’s mistaken, she’s about to be married.

“So… you and Aang?” he says.

Katara startles at the abrupt change in subject, but recognizing that Zuko isn’t able to properly talk about his feelings, she smiles and touches her betrothal necklace. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it? He proposed about a month ago.” She’s got a dreamy look in her eyes. “The proposal was really sweet. We were visiting my family in the South Pole, and he took me on a ride on Appa over the ice floes.” She laughs. “I really don’t know how he found it, but he took me back to the place where we first met, when Sokka and I found him in the iceberg. He’d set up a whole picnic out there, with a mix of Water Tribe and Air Nomad food. And he was acting all shy and awkward. I thought he was just afraid I wouldn’t think it was as romantic as he wanted it to be, but then he gave me a little box made of wood from a tree at the Southern Air Temple, and this was inside.” Katara leans forward so Zuko can get a better look at the necklace. “Don’t tell Sokka, but I definitely cried.”

Zuko laughs. “Your secret is… safe with me.” He wouldn’t wish Sokka’s relentless teasing on anyone, and he knows Katara gets enough of it as it is. That’s the price of being Sokka’s little sister, he supposes.  He can’t wait for Sokka to have an embarrassing proposal story that everyone can make fun of him for.

Katara smiles and rearranges Zuko’s pillows, then lifts Izumi from the crook of his arm. “Thanks, Zuko. Let me take care of Izumi while you rest, okay? You’ve had a hard few weeks, and you need sleep. But first,” she backs toward the door. “There’s one more person here I think you’ll want to see. He insisted when he got here that he talk to you alone. I’ll send him in if you’re up for it.”

“Uh…. sure?”

“Great answer!” She opens the door. “I’ll be back for another healing session tomorrow.” And then she’s gone, the door closing softly behind her. Zuko wonders who could be here. He doesn’t think she’s talking about Sokka. True, he’s the only one of his friends who hasn’t been to see him yet, but there is no world in which Sokka wouldn’t want to be in the room with everyone. He’s way too social to pass up that opportunity. Plus, Zuko would be surprised if he wasn’t still asleep. There is no more important part of life for Sokka than sleeping, except maybe eating, and after the journey he’s just been on, he’ll probably sleep for a whole day, at the very least. Perhaps there’s an ambassador here? Zuko shakes that thought away. Katara looked far too pleased with herself to be sending in any political figures. But then, who?

“I am glad to see that you are in full recovery, my nephew.” If Zuko wasn’t already lying down, he would’ve toppled over in surprise. Uncle Iroh looks about the same as usual, smiling and serene, strolling across the room robed in the gentle green of the Earth Kingdom.

“Uncle!” Zuko struggles to sit up. “I’m so glad… to… see you.”

Iroh sits down on the edge of the bed and pats Zuko’s leg. “Please, my boy, you must continue to rest. I don’t think your physician would be very pleased with me if you were to overexert yourself on my behalf.”

Letting out a long breath, Zuko sinks back down into his pillows. Iroh’s visit is a surprise, which Zuko normally dislikes intensely—surprises were generally not his friend when he was a boy—but in this case, it’s more than alright. Iroh and baby Izumi are the only true family Zuko has left, and Iroh always has had a way of knowing when Zuko needs him.

“You’ve left… the Jasmine Dragon?” That’s the biggest surprise of all. Iroh is not one to easily abandon his beloved teashop. “I’m sorry to have… drawn you… away from it.”

The laugh Iroh lets out is loud and hearty. “Don’t be silly, Zuko,” he says. “You are my family. What kind of Uncle would I be if I did not come to visit my only nephew when he is ill? Besides, my staff is more than capable of managing without me. I have recently hired several young people who could rival your skill as a server, as well as your displeasure for such labor.”

Zuko smiles. “Uncle, you know… I now enjoy… serving tea… even if I haven’t quite… grasped how to make it.”

“Of course,” Iroh agrees. “You’ve have shown tremendous growth over the last five years. And if I’m not mistaken, over the last few weeks as well.”

“So you’ve… talked with Aang?” Zuko asks. That’s a good thing. Perhaps Iroh can offer some insight that Aang couldn’t. Even if Aang is the Avatar and can commune with his past lives, he doesn’t have the aged wisdom that Iroh has often bestowed on Zuko.

“Yes,” Iroh says. “But I didn’t have to speak to the Avatar to know this isn’t a normal sickness. I’m sure you see the connection between this experience and the one in Ba Sing Se.”

Zuko nods. Aang had made it plenty clear that this is a spiritual sickness of the same sort as what Zuko had endured in Ba Sing Se after he’d let Appa go.

“Good,” Iroh says. “And you remember how you got better during that time?”

“Not really… actually. My memory of… that week… is hazy.”

Iroh closes his eyes. “I am not surprised. Everybody goes through change and experiences great pain, Zuko. It’s a natural part of human life. But we firebenders carry within us a flame that, when we are unbalanced, flares beyond our control and makes us ill. It is the price of wielding the element of power. The only way to overcome this sickness is to regain your control over your fire. You must find balance.”

“How do I… regain that balance?” Zuko asks.

“In Ba Sing Se, you found balance by reconciling your perception of yourself with who you truly were. You had acted honorably under Lake Laogai, but because you saw yourself as a banished prince who had lost his honor, accepting your own actions was difficult and you had to undergo your spiritual metamorphosis. But this time…” Iroh strokes his chin thoughtfully. “The inner fire is a complicated thing. What was true of Ba Sing Se may only apply partially to your current ordeal. But I am sure that, once again, your recovery is about acceptance of what you have gone through.”

“You mean…. losing Izumi.” The words hurt to speak aloud, punching sharply through his chest, and Zuko knows that that has nothing to do with his physical problems. “I have to… accept that… she’s gone.”

Iroh hesitates. “Zuko, your grief is understandable. You have suffered much in this life, but death is one thing that does not become easier with experience. Have you given yourself the proper time to let yourself grieve naturally?”

“I…” Zuko trails off. Has he? The week after Izumi’s death had been spent meditating and arranging her funeral. He’s had to oversee the military efforts to track down the assassins and attend meetings with his Council to address the ongoing reconstruction of the Fire Nation, as well as additional meetings with diplomats to discuss the process of rebuilding relations with the Earth Kingdom and the Water Tribes. Maintaining the peace between the Kyoshi Warriors and his own guards hasn’t been the easiest of tasks either. And through all of it, baby Izumi has required almost his full attention.

“I see.” Iroh sounds neither judgmental nor disappointed. “Sometimes,” he says. “We may accidentally rely on our inner fire to burn away undesirable feelings. That is one way that we can be thrown out of balance. I believe you need to address your grief before you can fully accept that Izumi is gone from this world. You must let yourself feel. Only then can you move on and truly recover.”

“And… until then?” The last thing Zuko needs is to be suffering from this fever until he is able to follow through on Iroh’s advice.

“Don’t worry, nephew, the physical fever should not last much longer. Katara’s healing and the water from the Spirit Oasis have done their work well. It is your spiritual recovery that will be determined by your ability to grieve, accept, and move on.”

“I still don’t… know how… to do that.”

“That is something I cannot tell you, because I don’t know.” Iroh stands and straightens his robes. “But you should be grateful that all of your friends are here with you. Oftentimes, you will find your relief not in yourself, but in the ones who love you most.”

Zuko stares after Iroh as he strolls leisurely to the door. “Thank you, Uncle,” he says.

Iroh turns and smiles. “I think you should sleep now. I’ll fend off any diplomats that wish to see you.” He chuckles. “Word of your revival has surely spread about the palace by now.”

The door closes softly behind Iroh, and Zuko is left alone, except for Momo, who’s still dozing by the window. Either Aang forgot to take him as he was leaving and is now too embarrassed to come back for him, or he left the lemur on purpose to keep an eye on Zuko. Knowing Aang, it could easily be either of those scenarios.

“Hey, Momo,” Zuko says. Momo’s ears twitch slightly. “Wanna come… over here with… me?” Several seconds pass while Momo blinks awake, stretches his wings, and flies lethargically over to Zuko. He settles first on Zuko’s chest, then with a yawn, crawls up to nestle in the crook of his shoulder. Zuko pats his head and sighs.

Iroh’s given him a lot to think about. He wants to get better more than anything. He’s already been laid out with the fever for weeks—it’s time to get back to his duties as the Fire Lord and as a father. But he’s so scared of facing life without Izumi.

What if he can’t ever move on? What if this is the one thing he’ll never be able to recover from? He’d never had to watch someone he loved die before this.

“What do… you think, Momo?” he asks.

Momo just chirps sleepily.

“You’re probably right.” Zuko closes his eyes. “I’ll worry… about it… tomorrow.” In the morning, he’ll have all of his friends with him. They’ll be able to help him sort through all of this. And if the spirit water does its work, he hopes he’ll be able to leave his bed. Some fresh air will do him some good. He contents himself with waiting one more night to begin moving on, and as he drifts off, he thinks only of his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for some Sokka? I promise I'm done holding out on you--all the other leads and supporting leads have been introduced and the next chapter will have all the Sokka! As usual, you can catch me on tumblr [@lastoftherealblues](http://lastoftherealblues.tumblr.com/)!


	5. Sokka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! Sorry, I know I said last chapter that this would be up sooner, but unfortunately my laptop broke and by the time I got it repaired, the semester had started. But! This chapter is a cute one--mostly some Zuko/Sokka fluff, but fair warning, it gets a little more serious at the very end. Also I edited the work's tags only because I felt they were a little too clogged. Everything in the story is the same though. Enjoy!

The faint sound of voices just outside his door wakes Zuko. He can’t quite make out any words through the heavy door, but he can tell that it’s his friends. Zuko opens his eyes. The sun is already shining through the window—something that, as a firebender, Zuko isn’t exactly accustomed to. Momo is still curled up by his head, fast asleep and oblivious to the conversation that, from the sounds of it, is turning into a mild argument.

At least he feels better today, even if that does mean he’s more aware of all the more uncomfortable things about his current situation. For one, he feels gross and like he seriously needs a bath. He aches all over, mostly from the fever, but there’s a pain in his jaw that tells him that he’s been clenching his teeth. His body is restless from having been laid out for so long, but as much as he wants to get up, he’s not sure it’s safe to test his strength yet. He groans and rolls over, burying his face in his pillows. What a way to wake up.

Momo chatters unhappily at the sudden shift, leaping off the bed and gliding about the room before settling back on the window sill.

“Sorry, Momo,” Zuko mumbles into a pillow. The voices outside are escalating.

“Hear that, Aang? He’s up,” comes the distinctly-Katara voice. “Just go in and get Momo. It’s really not that big a deal. I can even go with you and say we’re coming in for a healing session if you want.”

“But Kataraaa,” Aang whines. Zuko snorts. Even though he’s older now and taller than all of them, Aang never has quite shaken his tendency to pull the lemur-eyes and the begging on Katara. In his defense, though, it does tend to work. “What if he gets mad at me for coming into his _personal_ chambers? What if he sets me on fire?”

“Oh, for spirits’ sake, honey, he’s not going to set you on fire! You seemed just fine coming and going as you pleased for the last few weeks.”

“That was different! I only did that because he was sick and not really in any state to be answering his door. How ‘bout I just knock, and let him let me in.”

Zuko can feel Katara rolling her eyes. “And what? Force him to get up and walk to the door or hurt himself by calling out for you? Yeah, I’m gonna have to put a hard no on that. Seriously, Zuko’s not gonna get mad at you for coming to get your lemur. If he wanted to set you on fire, he’d have done it a long time ago.”

“Well…”

“Pssh. You two are a bunch of otter-penguins. I’ll just do it.”

“Sokka, wait—”

Zuko jumps when the door slams open.

“Shit, sorry, Zuko! These doors are a lot lighter than I remember.” Zuko rolls over to shoot a half-hearted glare at his friends. He’s not mad at all, but what an unceremonious way to enter a room. Aang (on whose head Momo is now happily perched) looks predictably guilty, as if it’s his fault that Sokka may have just damaged Zuko’s palace. Katara has the long-suffering look of a woman who knew Sokka would do that but wishes she didn’t. And Sokka—Zuko practically falls out of bed when his eyes land on Sokka.

He’s frantically checking the door to confirm that he did not, in fact, break it when he busted his way into the room, but that’s fairly typical of a guy who likes things to be all in their proper order and state and is meticulous about keeping it that way. What really shocks Zuko is how much Sokka has changed in the year since they’ve seen each other.

The first thing that strikes Zuko is just how tall his Water Tribe friend is. Not as tall as Aang, but still significantly taller than he used to be—maybe even taller than Zuko. The second thing is that his wolf-tail is longer. Though the sides are shaved short like always, the top is now long enough to hang down almost to his neck, instead of sticking almost straight back the way it used to. He’s a little scruffy in the facial-hair department too, but Zuko attributes that to him not having the time to properly shave while he was racing to get the spirit water. Sokka is way too vain to be walking around like that on a daily basis.

The real surprise is how…ripped Sokka is. He looks nothing like the skinny Water Tribe boy that had once charged so fearlessly at Zuko, armed with nothing but a whalebone spear and a boomerang. And sure, he’s been slowly getting bigger and stronger over the years, but honestly, there’s no possible way Zuko could’ve prepared himself to see Sokka looking like a man who’s been wrestling polarbear-dogs for a year.

By the time Zuko’s through being impressed with Sokka’s new, rather muscular physique, Sokka’s just about finished stressing over potential damages to Zuko’s property, and Katara’s completely done with watching him.

She clears her throat loudly. “Sokka,” she says slowly. “Is there someone you’d like to say hello to? Like… I dunno, maybe a friend you haven’t seen in a year?”

Sokka blinks at her, then his eyes widen and he speeds across the room in a few long strides. “Zuko!” he yells. He opens his arms wide for a hug but stops short when a lash of water snaps in front of him.

“Gently,” Katara chides. She rolls her eyes. “Idiot.”

“Zuko!” Sokka whispers. He pats Zuko on the shoulder. “How you doin’, buddy?”

Now it’s Zuko’s turn to roll his eyes. “Help me sit up and give me a proper hug,” he demands. “I haven’t seen you in a whole year.”

Sokka obliges, carefully supporting Zuko while Zuko pushes himself up into a sitting position. He quickly arranges the pillows to support Zuko’s back, too. Then, satisfied with his work and that Zuko won’t topple over, he swoops in to give Zuko a bone-crushing hug. It honestly kind of hurts, but Zuko’s so happy to see his friend that he has a hard time caring. He does try and give as good as he gets, though, wrapping his arms around Sokka’s middle and squeezing until he hears Sokka cough faintly.

“It’s great to see you, Sokka,” he says. “It’s been too long.”

Sokka gives Zuko an extra, vengeful squeeze, forcing a choked groan from Zuko. “I know!” he agrees. “We have so much to catch up on! We definitely need to get some proper manly bonding time in.”

“If you two are done trying to kill each other,” Katara says, coming around to Zuko’s other side, “I need to check on Zuko’s health. Y’know, take his temperature, make sure you didn’t break any of his ribs… the usual.” She folds her arms and glares across Zuko at Sokka.

Sokka grins and pulls away, but he gives Zuko one final thump on the back before stepping back so Katara can do her work. While she’s holding a bubble of water on Zuko’s forehead, Aang comes over to rest his elbow on Sokka’s shoulder.

“You look better,” he observes. “Doesn’t he?”

“Much better,” Katara agrees. “I can still feel some remnants of the fever underneath the spirit water—” Zuko thinks about Iroh’s words— “but it’s mostly gone.” She bends the water back into her pouch.

“Does that mean I can get up?” Zuko asks hopefully. He’s tired of lying around uselessly. Katara frowns, looking like she wants to say no. “Please?”

“Fine,” she says. “But only if someone helps you.”

“I got him!” Sokka volunteers enthusiastically. Far _too_ enthusiastically, in Zuko’s opinion. It’s suspicious.

Katara peels the sheets off of Zuko before stepping back to judge whether of not Sokka is fit to be helping Zuko. Clearly, she doesn’t trust her brother to be responsible for the Fire Lord’s well-being either.

With Sokka’s help, Zuko swings his legs onto the ground, leaning forward to test their strength. As he stands, Sokka slips an arm around his back to support him. Zuko wants to complain that he’s perfectly capable of standing on his own, but when his knees buckle a little under his weight, he’s glad for the strong arm holding him upright.

“You good, buddy?” Sokka asks.

Zuko grits his teeth and puts his arm over Sokka’s shoulders. “Yeah, I just need to get my legs back under me. Can you help me to the bathhouse? I feel disgusting.”

“You betcha,” Sokka says. “Alright, slowly now. I’m not gonna drop you.”

Zuko takes a deep breath and forces his right leg to come up and step forward. Then the left. He repeats that process until they’ve made it to the door. He’s breathing heavily from the exertion. Man, he’s gotten out of shape.

Sokka opens the door much more gently than he had before and helps Zuko out into the corridor. Each step gets a little easier, but Zuko holds tight to Sokka, just in case.

“So how’s life in the Fire Nation?” Sokka asks. “Suki giving you any trouble?”

“Um.” Zuko doesn’t know how to answer that. It sounds like a joke, but they broke up so Sokka could be serious. Maybe he wants a particular answer. But what if that particular answer pisses Suki off? That would be bad. The Kyoshi Warriors are here under her command, after all. But Sokka’s his friend too… He settles for the truth. “No?”

“Glad to hear it,” Sokka says with a grin. “We’re not fighting, by the way.”

“Uh…”

“What, you think you were even a little subtle about that hesitation? We broke up mutually and amicably, so you don’t have to worry about getting caught between us. She won’t be mad about us hanging out. And I won’t be mad about seeing her here all the time.”

“Toph said that you’ve been upset, though,” Zuko says. “Is that not true?”

“Well, I mean, yeah, I was a little torn up about it, but so was she!” Sokka shakes his head. “Breakups are hard, even if you both agree that it’s the best thing for everyone. But the last time I saw Toph was two months ago—she left Ba Sing Se only a couple weeks after Suki and I broke up.”

Zuko blinks in surprise. Toph had arrived in the Fire Nation a month ago, and, even though he knew she’d left Ba Sing Se, Zuko hadn’t even thought about the fact that she probably hadn’t seen their friends in at least a few weeks.

“Sounds like the last few months have been rather exciting for you,” Zuko says.

“Tell me about it,” Sokka says. “I left Ba Sing Se the week after Toph did. My dad needed help back home. He’s thinking of stepping down from his role as Chief. He and Bato want to retire from politics for good and just live quietly. Problem is, there’s some… tension about who should succeed him. Any one of the warriors would be a good fit, and we could probably work out an election or something, but the Northern Water Tribe thinks that one of their own should come down and be like a sitting Chief who answers to the Chief of the Northern Water Tribe.”

Zuko’s eyes widen. “Are you serious?”

“Well, now that the two tribes are back in contact, the North thinks that we should reestablish that specific relationship with them. But we’ve been our own independent tribe for so long that getting everyone to agree on one course of action’s gonna be impossible.”

“Well, what do you think?”

“Personally?” Sokka shrugs. “I think the North should have an ambassador in our tribe and we should have an ambassador in the North, but our Chief should come from our tribe. The North doesn’t know anything about how we operate.” He laughs. “I did put a word in for Katara, though. I know women aren’t traditionally Chiefs, but since when did Katara listen to tradition? I know she’d do a great job.”

Zuko likes the idea of Katara being Chief of the Southern Water Tribe. Not only would she be a more than competent leader, but diplomacy would be laughably easy. “What does Katara think about you volunteering her?”

“Oh, she already declined,” Sokka says. “She said that she’s not ready to be tied down with that kind of responsibility, at least not yet. She’d much rather be flying around with Aang and fixing the world that way. And I think she mentioned something about there being a conflict of interest too, since she and Aang are engaged. Relations with the North are so rocky right now, and it might look like favoritism if the Avatar marries the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe.”

If only politics weren’t so complicated, Zuko thinks. If only life would allow his friends to make a difference and still love and marry whoever they wanted, without being scrutinized by the entire world. Zuko had been lucky that people were ready to forgive Izumi for crimes committed not by her but by Zhao. If public opinion had been against her, what would the two of them have done? Could Zuko have married her?

“What about you?” Zuko asks.

“What about me?” Sokka teases. Zuko knows he knows exactly what’s being asked. It’s a good thing that he developed a tolerance for Sokka’s bullshit a long time ago. When he’d been chasing Aang, Katara, and Sokka around the world, he’d thought he would always hate Sokka on principle, particularly because he could be downright insulting if he wanted to, but he’s really grown to like Sokka.

“You could be Chief,” Zuko clarifies anyway. “You’re every bit as qualified as Katara, and unless you and Katara are sharing, I don’t think you’re engaged to the Avatar. So there’s no conflict of interest.”

Sokka sighs heavily. “I dunno, Zuko. Katara also brought that up, and obviously my dad can’t really endorse me publicly because that _would_ look like a conflict of interest—might look too much like I “inherited” the Chiefdom like royalty, no offense—but I think he thinks I should too. But I dunno, I’m not sure I’m ready to take that on.”

“But you’ve been working alongside your father for a while now, right? You’d be the perfect choice, as long as the people are behind you.”

“Maybe…” Sokka shrugs. “We’ll figure it out. Dad’s okay with keeping his position for now while we work through it. Not sure how long that’ll last, though. He and Chief Arnook keep clashing, and he’s a little sick of it. The sooner he finds himself a replacement, the happier he’ll be.” Sokka suddenly stops. “Okay, I think I may be lost.”

Zuko laughs. He wasn’t gonna say anything because he’s been having a good time just walking around with Sokka and catching up. He’s even okay with basically using Sokka as a crutch while they limp along. But yeah, Sokka’s lost.

“Don’t worry, I can get us to the bathhouse—it’s really not that far from here.”

“Great!” Sokka says. Zuko yells in indignation when Sokka suddenly swoops down to grab his legs and hoist him into a bridal carry. “Point the way, your highness!”

“Fire Lord Zuko!” Several guards come running down the hall, swords drawn, having been roused to action by Zuko’s voice. When they see Zuko in Sokka’s arms, both of them giggling like schoolchildren, they hesitate. Strangely enough, many guards don’t know Sokka by sight, just because he’s visited the least of all of Zuko’s friends. But they do know _about_ the Fire Lord’s fun-loving Water Tribe friend, and they’re probably trying to determine if this man holding their Fire Lord is that friend or some random assailant.

Shaking with laughter, Zuko waves them off. “Guards,” he giggles. “Meet my friend, Sokka. Sokka, meet—” he dissolves into another fit of giggling— “meet my guards’ swords.” The guards stare a moment longer before slowly shuffling away, back to their posts. It’s really too bad that all the soldiers high-ranking enough to guard the palace have little to no sense of humor.

As soon as they’re gone, Zuko looks up at Sokka, and Sokka looks back, and they burst into another round of laughter. Oh, to be in the guards’ barracks to hear the gossip that will surely come from this. After all, the sight of the Fire Lord cradled in the arms of a strange Water Tribe man is unusual in practically all contexts. It’s certainly unprecedented. Zuko had forgotten how much more interesting the palace is when Sokka’s around.

“Oh, owww.” Zuko groans and holds a hand to his ribs. He’s still in a little pain from the fever. “Spirits, Sokka, you’re such an ass. Laughing that hard _hurts_.”

Sokka snorts. “Don’t act like you’re not having fun. If you didn’t want me to be holding you and making you laugh like an idiot in front of the Royal Guard, you’d have kicked my ass back to the South Pole by now.”

“Shove it, Water Tribe,” Zuko grumbles. “I’m sick and helpless, and you’re taking advantage of my weakness.”

“You insult me,” Sokka gasps. Using the hand under Zuko’s back, he pokes Zuko in the side, making him squirm. “I would _never_ take _advantage_ of another man’s _weakness_. _Especially_ not the _Fire Lord_.” He punctuates his words with more poking, while Zuko fails miserably to fight him off without getting dropped.

“Sokka, cut it out!” he laughs. “That tickles!”

“I know it does,” Sokka says, not stopping.

Zuko manages to get a firm grip on Sokka’s hand, and hold it at bay. “Aren’t you supposed to be taking me to my bathhouse?”

“Well yeah, but I’m lost.”

“Put me down, and I can get us there.” Sokka just grins when Zuko glares at him. Zuko sighs. “Turn left.”

As Zuko guides Sokka through the corridors, they pass more people than Zuko would ideally like to be seen by in his state—hair down and unkempt, and wearing little more than a bed-robe. There are guards who pretend like they aren’t seeing anything strange, diplomats that openly stare, Kyoshi Warriors that laugh at Zuko’s plight, and one very unhappy Katara who threatens to shave Sokka’s head if he causes any permanent damage to Zuko.

“This is humiliating,” Zuko complains. “I can’t believe I was excited to see you.”

Sokka grins down at him. “Aw, c’mon, that’s no way to talk to the guy who saved your life!”

“Um, actually Katara saved my life,” Zuko points out. “Last I checked, you’re not a healer.”

“I got the spirit water,” Sokka argues. “That was a very important part of you not dying, if I do say so myself.”

“Okay, fine, you were the very important messenger hawk.”

The look on Sokka’s face is absolutely priceless, and Zuko can’t help but laugh at him. He kind of wants to feel bad about giving Sokka a hard time, but honestly, Sokka deserves it.

Sokka shoulders his way through the door to the bathhouse—an impressive show of strength, considering how heavy that particular door is—and they’re immediately engulfed in steam. Zuko’s never been so grateful to see the inside of this room before. Well, not never, he supposes. When he’d briefly returned to the Fire Nation with Azula, coming back here had made him feel like a prince again.

Sokka sets him down on a bench against the wall, and Zuko watches him take in the space. Unlike most of the palace, it’s designed with a more natural feel. The interior walls are made of rough stone imitating the look of a cavern, and there are several pools carved into the ground. The air is humid because of the natural heat still generated by the caldera that drifts up and heats the pools. The moisture clings to the rocky walls, and Zuko can already feel it saturating his skin.

“Nice place,” Sokka says appreciatively, “But I’m surprised you don’t have your own private bath attached to your rooms.”

“This _is_  my private bathhouse,” Zuko says, shrugging off his robe. “Or rather, it’s the royal family’s private bathhouse.”

“Oh.” Zuko watches Sokka’s shoulder’s drop. Besides Zuko, Iroh and Izumi are the only ones left of that family. Sokka turns and smiles tentatively. “Maybe we should figure out a better plan for this, instead of you having to walk through the halls to get here. Are there blueprints of the palace?”

Zuko rolls his eyes. Of course Sokka would arrive and immediately start thinking of ways to improve the place. That’s just so… Sokka of him. It would be nice, though, to have some better way of getting to his baths that doesn’t involve the whole court and their mothers witnessing Sokka’s manhandling.

“Let’s worry about blueprints later, okay? Here, help me over to that pool.”

Sokka’s at his side immediately, sliding an arm around his back and helping him stand. His arm is surprisingly warm against Zuko’s skin, the strong muscles flexing slightly under Zuko’s weight.

At the edge of the pool, Zuko pauses to unfasten his pants before, stripped down to his underwear, he steps down into the water. He grits his teeth. The small staircase is usually no problem to navigate on his own, but between the pain and weakness of his body and the slightly slippery steps, it’s a real chore not to slip and fall.

Sokka’s arm stays around him until he’s able to ease himself down and sit on the highest step. Zuko sighs in relief as he sinks into the warm water, down until the water rises up to his chin. He takes a deep breath and releases a puff of steam from his nostrils.

“So, uh…” Sokka clears his throat. “Should I just, y’know, wait outside? Go for a walk and come back in like an hour? Stand here and watch you?”

That makes Zuko laugh. “Sokka, don’t be absurd. You’re welcome to have a bath yourself if you want. You can join me, or if you’d rather have your own space, there’re six other pools to choose from.”

There’s a moment of hesitation, and then Sokka’s shedding his clothes and joining Zuko in his pool, leaning back against the opposite side. Zuko’s secretly really glad that his friend decided to stay with him. Something about having Sokka around does wonders for lifting his spirits. Not that his other friends aren’t great too—it’s just that Sokka’s by far the easiest to talk to, and he’s also more fun than most everyone else, with the exception of Aang. The two of them are pretty evenly matched in that department.

Zuko’s startled out of his thoughts when Sokka playfully kicks him under the water.

“Hey!” He glares at Sokka and his lopsided, careless grin. He doesn’t even have the good grace to look apologetic. “Why’d you do that?”

“You looked way too pensive over there. I think that if you’ve got this awesome of a bathhouse and a gorgeous friend to share it with, you should just relax. No Fire Lord thoughts allowed.” Sokka sinks down until his mouth is just below the water, and Zuko shakes his head.

“I wasn’t having Fire Lord thoughts, stupid. I was just thinking about how nice it is to have you around. You’re a good friend.”

Sokka sits up, letting his mouthful of water fall back into the pool. Zuko makes a face at him, but Sokka’s just staring at him with serious eyes. “Zuko, that’s… that’s just—I mean I was about to spit water at you, but spirits, that was the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. Especially coming from you, Lord Grumpypants.”

Zuko can’t help the bark of laughter he lets out. “Oh, spirits, you were so close. Sooo close, but you ruined it.” Even Sokka’s put-out expression is funny. “Seriously, Sokka. Lord Grumpypants?” He laughs. “A tip from a politician: never end your compliments or your tender moments with a silly nickname. It never works out.”

“But—”

“ _Never_. Besides, I’m not even that grumpy anymore.”

“Yeah, you kind of are.” Sokka slouches back down and stretches out lazily.

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not!” Zuko splashes Sokka to get his point across.

“Are too!” With a powerful sweep of his arm, Sokka returns the favor, sending a wave into Zuko’s face. Zuko sputters and coughs. He really should’ve foreseen Sokka’s revenge and refrained from inhaling at that exact moment.

He grunts when Sokka grabs him and pulls him in, thumping his back with one solid fist. “Sorry!” Sokka says, but he’s doing a poor job at disguising his laughter. He only lets Zuko go when Zuko stops coughing and instead starts struggling to free himself. He keeps his hands firmly on Zuko’s arms though, holding him out for inspection while trying to maintain a straight face. “You okay, buddy?”

“Considering that I almost drowned on your account? Yeah, I’m fine. But,” he grins, “You’re gonna pay for that!” Zuko congratulates himself on his attack. When he throws himself at Sokka and dunks him underwater, the man goes down easily, thrashing in vain.

Though Zuko has the initial advantage of surprise, Sokka, who is bigger and hasn’t been deathly ill for weeks, recovers fast.

“Are you insane!?” he demands the moment he wrestles himself free. His wolftail has come undone and is plastered over his face. Water runs in rivulets down his body.

Zuko flashes him his best, most charismatic smile. “Maybe.”

Sokka growls and tackles Zuko into the water, which Zuko thinks is absolutely unfair. What kind of warrior surprise attacks a weaker foe? He shoves at Sokka’s chest, struggling until he can get a foot up between them and kick Sokka back and away from him.

Still underwater, he brings his legs back and pushes off the wall. He collides hard with Sokka, and it’s all grappling and flailing limbs after that. Zuko gets his arms around Sokka’s torso and drags him down. Sokka gets a handful of his hair, forcing Zuko to let go, grab onto Sokka’s hand, and twist his way free. They break the surface together and gasp for air, then they’re on each other again, shouting and shoving one another under the water.

Inevitably, Sokka wins by virtue of size, using his weight to pin Zuko to the side of the pool with one forearm pressing down on Zuko’s chest, the other holding his wrists behind his back. He’s disheveled and laughing, and Zuko joins in as Sokka releases him and they flop down next to each other. Part of Zuko wants to keep on wrestling with Sokka like they’re still just a couple of kids with nothing better to do, but unfortunately, he’s probably pushed his physical limits enough for one day as it is.

They sit there side by side, in comfortable silence, shoulders pressed together, breathing together, and for a moment, their lives are as simple as that—two friends with no pressures and no responsibilities. No nations with needs or people with expectations. They’re just a couple of guys enjoying each other’s company. It’s a good feeling.

Sokka breaks the silence. “So we’re not telling Katara about that,” he says.

“Obviously,” Zuko answers with a small laugh. “She’d probably tear your head off and then never let me out of her sight again.”

“Ugh, I don’t know which one of us would be worse off,” Sokka says. “On the one hand, you’d have to kiss your freedom goodbye, and that would blow. But on the other hand, I’d be, y’know, dead, and that’s not really ideal either.” He shakes his head. “It’s funny, isn’t it? There was a time when it would’ve been the other way around.”

“Don’t remind me,” Zuko groans. “Are you aware of that time she threatened me with death quite explicitly at the Western Air Temple?”

Sokka head snaps to the side, and he looks to be experiencing an emotion somewhere between bewilderment and delight. “Shut up, she did not.”

“She did,” Zuko confirms. “Something something, ‘one step backward,’ and then I wouldn’t have to worry about my destiny.” He chuckles. “Boy, am I glad we’re friends now. I seriously can’t believe I survived chasing you guys around all that time. Katara is more than capable of killing me, and she absolutely wanted to.”

Sokka stretches and throws an arm over Zuko’s shoulders. Zuko leans into his side a little, feeling the fatigue from roughhousing catching up to him. “Yeah, she did. You kind of deserved it, though. I mean, _I_ didn’t want to kill you, but Aang also wasn’t my boyfriend.”

“What?” Zuko asks. “I thought they didn’t get together until after the war.” That’s what Aang had told him anyway, and it was definitely the impression he’d gotten from watching the two of them in the days leading up to Ozai’s defeat.

“No, you’re right, there was nothing official until the war was over. But let’s face it—they were totally dating already. Even Toph could see it, and she’s blind!”

“Toph can sense people’s heartrates,” Zuko deadpans. “Your point is moot.”

“Oh.” Sokka frowns, then shrugs. “Well, even you noticed, so my point stands.” He grumbles, but doesn’t detach himself, when Zuko elbows him in the ribs. “What? You can be kind of oblivious sometimes.”

“That’s rich coming from you,” Zuko retorts. “Idiot.”

Sokka’s hand flutters to his chest in mock offense. “My Lord, how could you say that to me? I resent your accusations!”

Zuko tips his head back and closes his eyes. “You’re ridiculous,” he mutters, stifling a yawn. He sighs when he feels Sokka’s hand running through his hair, working out the tangles. He guesses this was intended to be a real bath.

“We should probably get you back to bed soon,” Sokka says. “It’s possible that we overdid it with the fighting.” Zuko very much does not want to get up yet, but Sokka’s right. They’ve done enough to thwart the spirit water’s healing powers today.

He inhales deeply and breathes out more steam. Settling more comfortably against Sokka’s side, he mumbles, “We’ll get out when the water gets cold.”

~

He must’ve fallen asleep in the bath because when he wakes up, he’s back in his bed.

He sits up. “Sokka?”

There’s a grunt, a loud thud, then Sokka pops up from behind the sofa. “I’m here,” he says. “You okay?”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Zuko has to clear his throat to hide his laughter. Sokka’s hair is kind of back in its wolftail, but it’s mostly just sticking up everywhere and generally looking like it’s been slept in. “Just wondering if you were here.”

After stretching and dragging himself to his feet, Sokka comes to Zuko’s bedside and flops down across the foot of the bed. “I hope you don’t mind that I moved you back in here,” he says. “I, uh,” he clears his throat, “I tried do dry you off as best as I could without, y’know, making it weird. And I didn’t want to wake you, so I also dressed you and carried you, but I made sure your face was covered, in case—well, I dunno, but I was thinking that if I were you, I maybe wouldn’t want the whole palace to see me—”

Zuko kicks Sokka to get him to shut up. “Thank you,” he says. “That was very kind of you. I don’t think I’m ready to turn into a sea prune yet.”

“Oh.” Sokka props himself up on his elbows. “So you’re not mad about me for like… invading your privacy, hauling you around like a sack of seal jerky, anything like that?”

Zuko really can’t help the exaggerated eyeroll he gives Sokka. “No, dumbass. You helping me out is not an invasion of my privacy. And as undignified as it may be for me to look like a, ‘sack of seal jerky,’ that’s definitely not the worst look I’ve worn. I’ll recover from this humiliation, don’t worry.”

Sokka nods sagely. “Of course. Nothing can ever beat that horrible, stupid, ugly ponytail you had pasted to the top of your stupid, ugly, bald head back when—Hey!” A swift kick from Zuko sends Sokka toppling off the end of the bed. He comes up with a scowl. “What was that for!?” Zuko gives him a look. “Okay, point taken, but give a guy some warning next time, geez.” He rubs his hip. “Or maybe try something besides stone for your floors.”

“Aww, did poor little Sokka get a booboo?” Zuko teases. “Want me to kiss it better?”

Sokka calls his bluff. “Ooh, I’d love that actually,” he says, hopping to his feet and sidling up next to Zuko’s head. With a smirk, he lifts his shirt and, hooking his thumb under the waistband, pulls his pants down below one hip. “Alright, hop to it, Fire Lord.”

Zuko licks his lips and glances up at Sokka. “As you wish, Water Tribe.” He takes a deep breath, leans in, and presses his mouth to Sokka’s skin. Then he blows the biggest raspberry he can muster.

Sokka shrieks and stumbles away as Zuko laughs at him. He shrieks again when the door opens and Katara enters, which only makes Zuko laugh harder.

Katara stares between the two of them—Zuko clutching his sides in bed and Sokka struggling to simultaneously wipe spit off his hip and re-dress himself—and sighs. “I don’t even want to know,” she decides. She takes a seat on the edge of Zuko’s bed. “Zuko, how are you doing? Sokka didn’t damage you when he took you to the bathhouse?”

“Uh…” Zuko thinks about their little wrestling match. “No, not really. He may have ruined my pride while he was hauling me around, but that’s alright. I think I’ve had my revenge already.”

“I can see that,” Katara says. She smiles brightly. “So I guess you’re feeling better?”

“Lots,” Zuko says. “I think getting up and walking around a bit really helped. How’s Izumi?”

“She’s with Iroh right now.” Katara shakes her head. “Toph thought I should leave her in charge, but to be honest, I think Toph’s less qualified to take care of a kid than Sokka is.”

“Okay, now that’s just rude,” Sokka grumbles from where he’s seated himself on the windowsill. “I’ll have you know that I’d be a great dad.”

“You tried to turn a bunch of toddlers into warriors,” Katara says.

“I was fifteen!” Sokka defends. “You can’t expect a fifteen year old to make good paternal decisions about a bunch of kids who aren’t his. I’d do a much better job now.”

“Well, duh, you’ve set yourself a depressingly low bar.”

Sokka raises a finger to defend himself, then stops short. “Okay, I walked into that one.”

“Mhm.” Katara nods and turns back to Zuko. “Anyway, as I was saying, Izumi’s in good hands. I believe Iroh was planning to take her out for a walk around the city. He mentioned something about how the next Fire Lord needs to start getting to know her people as early as possible. But it definitely sounded more profound when he said it.”

“I trust Uncle’s decision,” Zuko says. “Did he take any guards?”

“Two Kyoshi Warriors, I think. He wanted to go alone, but Suki said she’d feel better if a couple of her girls went with them.”

Zuko nods. While he understands Iroh’s desire to wander around freely and without the fanfare that comes with being a member of the royal family, he’s glad that Suki spoke up. As wise as Iroh is, sometimes Zuko thinks he believes much too firmly in the inherent goodness of other people. It’s unlikely that Ozai’s supporters will try anything with the Avatar and his friends so nearby, but Zuko would rather err on the side of caution when it comes to Izumi.

“Tell Suki I said thanks,” Zuko says. “I feel better knowing that the Kyoshi Warriors are keeping my family safe.”

“I will,” Katara says with a smile. “Now, let’s see how you’re holding up. Open your robe, please.” She draws out some water from her pouch while Zuko pulls his robe open. The water is cool on his skin where she has it spread over his chest. Zuko can see Sokka watching from the window. “Your temperature’s down from this morning,” Katara says. “I think it’s back to normal?” She shrugs. “I mean, it’s higher than the average person’s, but from what I’ve read, firebenders are supposed to be that way. I'll probably just keep checking in twice a day for a few days, just to be sure.”

Zuko hums his acknowledgement. He doesn’t know a whole lot about healing, but he has heard of something like what Katara’s saying. Maybe Iroh mentioned that firebender trait once.

Katara separates the water and brings bubbles to his forehead, neck, and wrists. “Your energy is stronger too.” The water is lifted from his skin, and Katara bends it back into her pouch. “This is all really good, Zuko, but there’s still something… off.”

“I know,” Zuko says. “Uncle told me this would be an issue when we spoke last night.” _It is your spiritual recovery that will be determined by your ability to grieve, accept, and move on._ “He said that what you’ve done will heal my body, but that I have to be the one to heal my spirit.” Zuko looks away, unable to meet Katara’s or Sokka’s eyes.

Katara places a gentle hand on his arm. “I know how hard this must be for you,” she says. “And I know you probably don’t want to talk about it. But just know that whatever you need, you can always ask.” She squeezes his arm and stands. “We’re all having dinner out in the gardens tonight if you want to join us. It’s just gonna be me and Sokka, Aang, Suki, Toph, Ty Lee, and Mai. We invited Iroh, but he said that he’s old and needs to go to bed early.”

“I think he’s just being polite,” Sokka says. He pushes himself away from the windowsill and comes to stand next to Katara. “He doesn’t want to stop us from being young and stupid by imposing his sagely old man presence on us.”

“That certainly sounds like Uncle,” Zuko agrees. As far as sagely old men go, though, Iroh is the least likely to spoil the fun. But it’s still probably true that Zuko behaves differently around him, whether consciously or not.

“So are you coming tonight?” Sokka asks. “It’ll be lots of fun, and Suki promised to station a few Kyoshi Warriors around—out of sight, so they wouldn’t be imposing or anything, but close enough to keep us all safe. Though I think between all of us and our mad skills, we’d be just fine anyway.”

Zuko laughs. “Yes, Sokka, I’ll come to dinner. You just might have to help me get down there.”

“Yes sir!” Sokka obliges. “Need help getting ready?”

“No, I think I can manage that,” Zuko says. “But thank you.”

“Don’t even mention it.”

Katara tugs on Sokka’s arm. “Let’s give Zuko some privacy. We’re gonna go help set up dinner,” she says to Zuko. “Well, Toph and Ty Lee are doing most of the setup, but we’d better go supervise.”

“Oh, yeah,” Sokka agrees. “Forgot we let them volunteer for that. Maybe the blind girl and the circus girl weren’t the best choices for arranging a practical and easily accessible dinner set-up for our recently resurrected Fire Lord.” Zuko chucks a pillow at him, which Sokka just catches and tosses back. “Sorry, I meant our recently recovered Fire Lord.”

“Sure you did,” Zuko mutters sarcastically.

“Alright, c’mon,” Katara says, herding Sokka toward the door. “We’ll see you in a bit, Zuko,” she says over her shoulder.

“Be back to get you in half an hour!” Sokka calls cheerfully as he’s pushed out the door. Zuko waves to their backs and the closing door.

As soon as he’s alone, he forces himself to sit up. Maybe he should have asked Sokka to stay, he thinks as he holds onto the bedpost and drags himself to his feet. Getting to his wardrobe seems a lot more daunting now that there’s no one to help him across the room.

Slowly and holding onto whatever furniture he can reach, he limps away from the comfort of his bed. When he finally reaches the wardrobe, he clings to the dark wood and stands there a moment while he catches his breath. He lets his bed-robe fall from his shoulders and unfastens his pants, letting them drop in a pool around his ankles.

He immediately pushes every set of formal robes he has to the side—he’ll just be with his friends, and most of that finery is too delicate or too cumbersome for anything but ceremonies and other appearances anyway. He’s definitely not wearing any type of armor for a simple dinner, so those outfits are out of the question. He sighs. Does he really have this much clothing? It’s ridiculous.

He settles on the plainest tunic he can find and a pair of pants that are comfortable and soft but nice enough to go out in. He debates with himself about going barefoot, but ultimately decides to just wear his boots. If he wants to, he can just take them off later.

His crown catches his eye from where it’s sitting on his bedside table. Should he wear it? The Fire Lord is supposed to wear it whenever he might be seen, but he’s also just going to his gardens to eat with his friends. Surely that doesn’t count as a public appearance. He probably doesn’t even have to make the effort to put his hair up. No one will really care, except maybe Sokka, and the worst he can do is make fun of Zuko until Katara tosses him into the fountain.

“Whatever,” he mutters to himself. He ends up tying his hair back into a loose bun as a kind of compromise between his usual topknot and just leaving it all down.

A quick glance in the mirror is all he needs to confirm that he doesn’t look like a corpse anymore. He still feels that something’s missing, though. He runs through a mental checklist. He’s dressed appropriately for the occasion, his hair is passable, he’s already decided the crown is unnecessary.

His heart stings with the realization of what he’s forgotten.

The Fire Nation doesn’t really have traditional engagement gestures like the Water Tribes do, but Zuko and Izumi had given each other gifts nonetheless.

Zuko hurries back to his bedside table as fast as his legs will allow him and opens the drawer. There’s a bracelet sitting inside. The black leather band is humble in appearance, meant to be something that Zuko could wear at all occasions. The outside is decorated simply with etched images of flames and the sun. But on the inside, Izumi had carved out a short message interspersed with little stars.

_Though far and small the stars may be, they are strong and bright and steady. My love, let us be a new kind of star, better even than the ones in the sky. May we burn like the stars with a love that neither wanes nor weakens with the years. Yes, let us have the strength of the stars. But let us never be so far away, and let our love never feel small. No matter what this life may bring us, know that I will always be by your side. With love brighter than the Sun, Izumi._

Zuko blinks away tears as he fastens the band around his wrist. It stands stark against his pale skin, as impossible to forget as Izumi herself. And where the leather touches his skin, it burns like his heart when he thinks of her. Any moment, he wants her to walk through the doors of their room and wrap her arms around his shoulders, to tell him that she’s still here, that love is still alive for him.

He jumps when the doors open and Sokka breezes in. “I’m back—Oh.” Sokka stops. “Oh, Zuko.” A small sob erupts from Zuko’s throat when Sokka rushes over and pulls him into a fierce hug. “Zuko, buddy, are you okay?”

Zuko shakes his head and buries his face in Sokka’s chest. He’s not. He’s not okay because Izumi is gone and there’s nothing he can do to bring her back.

Sokka’s arms stay around him, and he soothes his hand up and down Zuko’s back, pets his hair gently. “Just let it out,” he encourages. “I know it’s hard. I’m here for you.”

The deep rumble in Sokka’s chest is comforting, and as Sokka talks, Zuko slowly recovers himself. Sokka holds him even after his tears have run dry and his sobs have dwindled down to hiccupped breaths. He only lets go when Zuko draws back to wipe his face.

“I’m sorry,” Zuko says. “You shouldn’t have to see that.”

“No, it’s okay,” Sokka assures him with a sympathetic smile. “It’s good to cry it out sometimes. And I’m grateful you trust me enough to open up like that, even if it’s just for a good cry.”

“Thanks,” Zuko says. He sighs. “I guess we better get out there, huh? I’m sure Toph’s already made more than enough unsavory jokes about why we’re taking so long.”

Sokka snorts. “Probably. But we don’t have to go unless you feel up for it.”

“I didn’t spend all this time making myself look presentable only to stay up here while you all have fun,” Zuko says. He sniffles a few last times and wipes at his eyes. He guesses they’ll be red from crying, but he’ll just have to live with that. “How’s my face?”

Sokka reaches out and wipes the tear tracks from Zuko’s cheek with his thumb. The action is so tender, it almost hurts. He smooths down Zuko’s hair, tucking a few loose strands behind his ears, and smiles. “Perfect.”

“Alright then,” Zuko says. He takes a deep breath. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always welcome and loved. Catch me on tumblr [@lastoftherealblues](http://lastoftherealblues.tumblr.com/)!


	6. The Pavilion's Shelter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, more Zukka!!! Slightly shorter chapter this time, but an important one for plot and relationship development between our two favorite gays. Enjoy!

When Zuko arrives in the garden, clinging to Sokka’s arm to support himself, he’s met with cheers from his friends. They’re seated on cushions around a low stone table, no doubt erected by Toph. They’re close by the koi pond, which is illuminated by tiny paper lanterns of all different colors drifting slowly across the clear surface. Similar lanterns are hung from the plants surrounding the area, casting the whole scene in a warm, iridescent glow and lighting up the joyful faces before him.

Zuko smiles around at the group and fights down the knot in his throat. He may never get used to having so many friends who’re so happy to see him.

Ty Lee’s the first one out of her seat, springing toward him and throwing herself into his arms. He catches her, but the impact causes him to stumble back a little, only to be caught and steadied by Sokka’s strong hand at his back.

“It’s great to see you up and about again!” Ty Lee exclaims. She pulls back and holds him at arm’s length with her eyes narrowed in concentration. “Yup, your chi is just about back to normal!” she finally says. “C’mon, come sit down.” She takes his hand and pulls him over to the table.

Everyone else stands as he approaches. They take turns greeting him with words, handshakes, and hugs in a rather overwhelming display of affection. Besides Ty Lee, Toph is the most enthusiastic about her greeting—she delivers one solid punch to his arm and engulfs him in a borderline painful hug that Suki has to rescue him from.

“Nice to see ya, Sparky!” Toph says as Zuko rubs his arms where she’d been crushing him. “Or rather, nice to _not_ see ya. Y’know, because—”

“Ugh, would you _please_ shut up,” Mai cuts in from where she’s still folded gracefully in her seat. “I’ve heard enough blind jokes in the past hour to last me a lifetime.”

Toph just laughs and makes a funny face—which is met with an exaggerated eye-roll from Mai—then after giving Zuko one last friendly slug to the arm, she returns to her cushion.

Everyone else shows enough restraint to not break Zuko’s bones when they greet him, which Zuko is quite grateful for. He’s fine with being manhandled by just one friend at a time.

He does get a faceful of airbender robes when Aang smothers him in a long-armed hug. Aang smiles down at him when they separate. “You have no idea how relieved I am,” he says. His eyes are shining with tears. “I spoke with Avatar Roku this afternoon, and he told me how strong you must be to still be alive. The ability to get your inner fire back under control is really hard—I’m so proud of you for surviving everything.”

“Thanks, Aang.” Zuko feels himself blushing. He’s felt anything but strong. A strong Fire Lord should be able to handle anything, but he’d allowed himself to become sick and neglect his duties. “I… I’m really sorry to have put you through all this.”

“Don’t be,” Aang says. “You’ve done better than any of us could have in your situation. No matter how you might feel about yourself, you’re an incredible man, and don’t forget it.”

Zuko doesn’t know what to say, how to articulate his gratitude. Thankfully, he doesn’t have to figure it out because Katara approaches and hands him Izumi.

“Aww, looks like someone’s been missing her daddy,” she says when Izumi coos happily and smiles up at Zuko.

“Hey, Izumi,” Zuko says softly. “How’s my favorite little princess?” He looks up at Katara. “Thanks for taking such good care of her. She did alright with Uncle?”

Katara nods. “Iroh said she behaved wonderfully and never cried once.” She pets Izumi’s hair affectionately. “She loves him, but there’s no substitute for her dad.”

Zuko supposes she’s right, and there’s a small feeling of guilt that comes with the realization of how little Izumi’s seen of him for the duration of his fever. As someone who grew up struggling to earn his own father’s love, he never wants Izumi to feel that way. He silently vows in that moment to do everything to prevent any more long spells of absence from her.

“Shall we eat then?” Sokka says after Zuko’s been quiet for a minute. “I dunno about you all, but I’m famished.”

Toph cheers. “Finally! At least someone around here gets me.”

Katara and Sokka help Zuko to the table, both of them working together to make sure his descent onto his cushion doesn’t end up with a head injury or otherwise. As she steps away, Katara sets a bottle of Izumi’s formula in front of Zuko and returns to her place at the table, and once Zuko’s in his seat, everyone else follows suit.

There’s a scramble to snag a seat next to Zuko, at the end of which Zuko finds himself between Sokka and Toph. When he realizes this, he groans internally. This is going to a long meal, and he’s got a feeling he’ll have a permanent dent in his forehead when it’s all over.

As soon as everyone’s settled back down, Zuko feels his usual awkwardness around large groups of people set in. Even with his friends, he has a hard time being the very obvious center of attention. Color rises to his cheeks.

“So anyways, as I was saying,” Toph says to Suki loudly, shattering the tension. Zuko silently thanks her for sensing his discomfort and rescuing him. “I found this one kid who could metalbend pretty decently once I showed him the ropes, and I told him I was starting a metalbending school. And then I tacked on the fact that I wanted to make him my student. Said he had a lot of great potential. And you know what he says?”

“Hm?”

“He said he didn’t need a little blind kid to teach him anything!” Toph laughs. “Can you believe the nerve of this guy? Well, turns out he wasn’t really a kid—he was more like fifty or something—and he didn’t appreciate me implying that I’m better at earthbending than him. Or that he couldn’t really grasp metalbending from one little mini-lesson.”

“Well, I’m sure he just doesn’t know what you’re capable of,” Suki says.

“Yeah, no, he didn’t.” Toph grins. “But he does now! Funny story, he was carrying around a bunch of metal trinkets, so I bent those around him so he could only move his arms and left him there.” She cackles. “He couldn’t bend himself out because the metal was too pure for him!”

“Toph!” Katara admonishes. “That was so wrong of you.” She’s got her disapproving mom face on. Her eyes and tone of voice give her away, though. She’s just as entertained as everyone else.

“Sugar Queen, honey, wrong is what I do.” Toph leans back on her cushion and kicks her feet up on the table, a stone slab popping up as a support. “So Sparky, what took you and Snoozles so long to get here?” And there it is. “Did you look into his eyes and have no choice but to ravish him?”

“Er…” Zuko blushes. How does he respond to that? He has a feeling that just saying a truthful no will only egg Toph on more. She’ll say something about how he can deny it all he wants but she knows the truth, and that’s almost more embarrassing.

“Actually,” Sokka says, already shoveling food into his mouth. He swallows and gives Zuko a sly grin that spells trouble. “It was I who ravished him. Now I know that’s not entirely appropriate, given that he’s the Fire Lord and I’m just a lowly diplomat, but really, can you blame me? He just looked so stunning standing there in—”

“Sokka!” Zuko yells, but it’s too late. The damage is done. Toph is cackling like a madwoman and making crude gestures in Zuko’s general direction. Zuko buries his face in his free hand. “I hate you both.”

“You only wish you could hate these good looks,” Toph taunts. “Y’know, if I’d been there, I would’ve—”

“Okay, changing the subject!” Suki says. “We’re done tormenting Zuko.” She levels her steely gaze at Toph, who can’t see her, then at Sokka, who pretends like he can’t see her. Her eyes soften when she turns her attention to Zuko. “You haven’t served yourself. Do you want some of this fish?” she asks.

Zuko glances around at his friends. While he was dealing with being the brunt of Sokka and Toph’s crude humor, everyone else has dished up their food. He sighs. “I’m not really hungry.” Instead, he picks up Izumi’s bottle and gets to work feeding her.

He can’t explain the relief at finally getting back to something as mundane as feeding his baby. It’s just that as soon as he tips the bottle back and smiles down at Izumi, a wave of peace and contentment washes over him.

A long moment of this bliss passes before he becomes aware that all eyes are on him. He looks up at the staring faces, most of which quickly turn away as soon as he catches them staring. Only Sokka and Katara remain looking at him.

“What?” he asks them. He tries for a joke. “Is there something on my face?” Toph gives an appreciative chuckle, but the Water Tribe siblings just keep giving him those identical stares. It’s mildly disconcerting. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” Katara says quickly. She looks away.

“You’re a worse liar than me.” Zuko glares until she caves.

She sighs. “You haven’t had a proper meal in weeks. All you’ve had is what little liquid food I could get you to eat, and you’re not hungry? You should be starving by now. Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

“I’m fine,” Zuko insists. “Really. Maybe my stomach is just still in recovery—I did only wake up yesterday, and you said yourself that I’m not fully healed yet.”

“If you say so…” She doesn’t sound convinced though.

“I promise I’ll tell you if I feel like something’s wrong.” He offers her a placating smile. “Okay?”

She nods. “I’m trusting you.”

Zuko lets out a sigh of relief when she doesn’t press and turns instead to speak quietly with Aang. The rest of the table goes back to talking and laughing rambunctiously, satisfied in the knowledge that they’re no longer at risk of being caught in the crossfire of Zuko and Katara almost fighting.

He appreciates Katara’s concern, genuinely, but he needs her to understand that even though she’s an amazing healer, sometimes he doesn’t want her overbearing way of taking care of him. He is, after all, a grown man, a father, the Fire Lord—all titles that should imply at least some level of self-sufficiency.

He still feels Sokka’s eyes on him, which he steadfastly ignores. It’s one thing to get Katara off his back—she’s aware of her own overbearing tendencies and knows that she has to take a step back sometimes. But Sokka’s different. He likes to give people space to sort their own issues out, understands the significance of proving one’s own strength. Zuko can’t handle the idea of being in bad enough shape to warrant Sokka acting like Katara. So he doesn’t look back up until Sokka’s attention drifts away.

The novelty of Zuko’s presence slowly fades as the evening wears on, and it then feels like they’ve just about slotted back into their old dynamic. Sokka and Toph are the unmatched leaders of the comedy show—Toph sticks her chopsticks under her top lip, crams a noodle halfway into her mouth, and imitates an elephant-walrus in both sound and action. Sokka is play-flirting with everyone at the table, with the exception of Katara. Even Aang and Mai aren’t safe from his horrible, cheesy, nonsense pickup lines.

When Sokka tries flirting with Suki, though, Toph metalbends a spoon over his mouth and proceeds to take over by poorly imitating him. Suki laughs uncontrollably, which only encourages Toph. Sokka’s muffled protests only seem to make things worse.

Katara and Aang are disgustingly caught up in each other, talking and laughing and occasionally brushing hands on top of the table. Ty Lee is absolutely charmed by their affections and is talking animatedly about her plans for their wedding. The colors, she says, have to be blue, yellow, and pink, and it should be a grand and romantic ceremony with lots of pretty flowers and fun decorations. Mai listens in on this, occasionally offering her own advice that is surprisingly helpful. Zuko reminds himself to ask Mai where and when she learned how to be a wedding planner.

For his own part, Zuko just holds Izumi and watches. She’s long since finished feeding, and is now making a valiant attempt at grabbing Zuko’s napkin off the table.

“That’s not a toy, sweetie,” he says. She responds by gurgling at him and latching onto his shirt instead. She tugs the fabric toward her mouth, holding it between her tiny gums. “Well, at least you can’t choke on that,” Zuko concedes. “It can’t possibly taste good, though.”

Izumi blinks up at him with bright golden eyes, and she smiles around his shirt. Somehow, he doesn’t even mind the spot of drool she’s leaving. He remembers holding Azula for the first time, how she’d done almost the exact same thing. At the time, he’d been grossed out and had asked his mother why babies did that.

Ursa couldn’t tell him exactly why, but she did say that it was normal. She said babies will bond with the people they love in strange ways because they can’t talk yet. They’re also just learning to explore their world, and they don’t know any better.

After that, Zuko had made it a point of pride that he never expressed any disgust at baby Azula’s strange behavior. If she wanted to chew his shirt, that was fine, and if she drooled on his arm, he didn’t mind. He didn’t even care that he had to share Ursa with a new sister who needed changing all the time. Sure, it was all less than appealing, but Azula was a baby, and that meant she loved him.

A smile tugs at his lips with those early memories of being a big brother. He’d felt so grown up once Azula was born, as if having a younger sibling was some sort of developmental milestone that meant he was maturing. And he supposes fatherhood isn’t much different from that feeling.

“Hey! Earth to Zuko!”

A pebble hurtling toward Zuko’s face snaps him out of his reverie, and he ducks to avoid getting hit, his heart racing. Unsurprisingly, Toph is having a good laugh at her own joke.

“Seriously?” Zuko asks tiredly. “You could’ve hit Izumi.”

“No I couldn’t have. My aim is always perfect.” Toph gives him a sweet smile.. “Don’t you trust me Sparky?”

“Not really,” Zuko mutters under his breath. Of course, Toph still hears him.

“Great, well I’ve still got a follow-up question for ya. No more rocks, I promise,” she adds. She fixes her unseeing eyes approximately at Zuko’s forehead, which, Zuko can’t help but think, has a vaguely unnerving effect. He’s certain Toph’s doing it on purpose at this point.

“…Go ahead.” Zuko waves his hand dismissively. Toph, though she surely can’t see the gesture, grins broadly.

“Sparky, have I ever told you how much I love you?” she says. Sokka coughs a little. Toph plows on as Zuko pounds lightly on Sokka’s back. “Because I love you a lot.” She pauses until Sokka’s coughing subsides. “Anyway, I was just wondering about that project you mentioned a while back—y’know, the one for me and Suki?”

“Oh,” Zuko smiles, “I’d almost forgotten. I’ve been a bit preoccupied, if you get what I’m saying.” The whole table, now paying full attention to what they’ve perceived to be an important conversation, laughs. It’s morbid humor, but Zuko’s glad to have friends that will even acknowledge his stunted attempts at joking. “Thanks for reminding me. You have to promise that you two aren’t fighting anymore, though, or I’m not telling you anything.”

Toph turns to her left, and Suki, who’s sitting right next to her, looks back at her. They both grin and nod. Toph puts a friendly hand on Suki’s back and turns back to Zuko.

“Like we said before, while you were busy dying, we had a chance to talk through our problems, and now we’re good as new.”

“We just had a lot of misunderstandings,” Suki adds. “It was only natural, given how much time we’ve spent apart since the war ended and how different our respective paths have been. But your ordeal gave us some perspective, and we both felt that we needed to reevaluate the importance of friendship. And the more we got to talking and being around each other peaceably, the more we remembered why we stayed friends. I remembered why, despite it all, Toph is so special to me, and once I realized that, I knew that there was nothing that could justify the way I was treating her. We still have our differences, we may never fully agree on some things, but our similarities and shared goals take precedent. It’s our duty as friends to find ways to respect each other, no matter how different we may be.”

Toph nods. “Yeah, so thanks for collapsing and almost dying ‘cause it forced me and Suki to be friends again.” Her playful words are tinged with a thickness and accompanied by furious enough blinking that Zuko understands how touched she truly is by Suki’s monologue. It’s good enough evidence for him.

“I’m glad to know how much work you’ve put into getting along again,” he says. “And you’re welcome, Toph. Now, about the project. As its current incarnation, it’s going to be a local project, right here in Capital City.” The familiarity of heading a meeting settles of Zuko like a well-worn robe, bolstering his confidence. “As you all know, after the war ended, retired Fire Nation soldiers were given the choice either to stay in the colonies under the promise that they would abide by Earth Kingdom law or to return to the Fire Nation and live as loyal subjects under my new rule.

“What you may not know is that many of the soldiers who returned home brought with them families from the colonies. Countless soldiers fell in love with Earth Kingdom citizens, married, and had children. Obviously, I welcome all of those families here in the Capital, and I’ve already made the universal declaration that all Earth Kingdom people who have married to or are the children of Fire Nationals qualify as Fire Nation citizens and are guaranteed all the same rights as born Fire Nationals.

“The problem is that, though my law is open to these people and many have fit nicely into Fire Nation society, there are still some native Fire Nationals who are resistant to the assimilation of other people into our cities. I’ve received reports from my domestic security patrols that some former Earth Kingdom people and Earth-Fire children are experiencing harassment on the streets, in their neighborhoods, at their workplaces, outside of their homes—places where they should feel safe and welcome.

“My task for you two is to go in and help sort these problems out as diplomatically as you can. You’re both from the Earth Kingdom, so I expect that the Earth-Fire citizens will trust you. And since you’re close personal friends of both Aang and me, no self-respecting Fire National should cause you any trouble. Up in my office, I even have drafts of some documents that you can wave in the faces of anyone who may be… particularly difficult.

“Anyway, the goal here is to settle these disputes peacefully and without intimidation, but if you feel that you or the Earth-Fire citizens are in any danger from the Fire National purists, you’re authorized to use non-lethal force to detain violent individuals until you can hand them off to my authorities. Essentially, you’re just monitors and occasional intervention. You won’t decide any consequences. They’ll face their district courts as punishment.

“For now, like I said, this is a strictly experimental operation in the Capital. I need to see if this kind of process will work here before I try to instill similar policies in other Fire Nation towns. I’m not keen on the idea that this could be perceived as a stifling of my people’s traditions, but it’s time that discrimination against non-Fire Nationals is properly discouraged by the law.”

Zuko pauses to let the information soak in. It’s a lot, he knows. He’d spent several months carefully plotting out ideas and details, balancing out the best ways to enforce non-discrimination policies without resorting to the authoritarian strategies of his ancestors. Izumi had helped, of course, before—

He cuts himself off, unwilling to continue down that path of thought. He must focus.

“So, any thoughts?” he directs at Suki and Toph. Suki is drumming her fingers contemplatively on the table, Toph is nodding as if checking off each step in Zuko’s plan.

“That just might work,” she says. “You’ve got a good head for diplomacy, I’ll give you that.” Her hand comes down hard on the table, making Zuko jump. When he looks up, Toph has a bright smile on her face. “Count me in, Lord Sparky.”

“Thanks, Toph,” he says. “Suki?”

“It does seem like a well-devised plan…” Her fingers continue their quick rhythm. “How rampant is the issue? Is it all the districts, or just certain ones?”

“I’d say mostly in the middle-class areas,” Zuko answers. “At least, based on the reports I have. You’re welcome to comb through them, but my understanding is that there aren’t too many former Earth Kingdom subjects among the elite, since they weren’t typically posted in the colonies. And those in the lower-class neighborhoods are far less concerned with the notion of keeping their neighborhoods ‘pure,’ so to speak. I looked over educational records, and it appears that many families never got the formal, standardized education full of Fire Nation propaganda. Much of their knowledge has been passed down through family and local schoolhouses, which means they have a cultural memory of when people from all the nations interacted more freely.”

“So they’re more accepting of returning to those practices,” Suki finishes. “And the middle-class who learned nothing but national propaganda don’t have that past knowledge.”

“Exactly.”

“Interesting…” She rubs her chin. “What’s your strategy for reformed education?”

“We’ve been phasing in correct information since I took the throne. It’s not been hard to convince children to believe the correct history, especially since my Advisor for Education has overseen the integration of facts—the technique he’s implemented uses the old information as a springboard for the new information. Reports say that this is effective for school-aged children, so we’re sticking with that until we no longer need to unteach propaganda.

“There’s still the issue of adults who have to unlearn a lifetime of propaganda. Many are trying, and parents are encouraged to attend class with their children, or to sign up for adult-oriented class sessions that the Advisor for Education is supervising. Our incentive is the provision of two free meals per day, and that has been successful for many. Again, though, that works better for lower-class and lower middle-class, who’re already less susceptible to prejudice than for middle and upper-middle class, who’re comfortable enough to not need free meals.

“That’s quite the predicament,” Suki mutters. “But it’s a good start… Okay, I’ll help.”

“Oh, spirits, thank you, Suki!”

“Of course,” she says. “You’ve done so much to make reparations on behalf of the Fire Nation that it’d be shameful to refuse. The whole situation is complicated, but I think you’re doing the best that anyone could ask. My one condition is that I will not use a weapon against anyone. I’ll bring them, just in case, but I won’t take them out unless I’m actively being attacked and can’t hope to defend myself with just my hands and feet. Deal?”

“Deal.” Zuko smiles at both of them, relief washing over him. Not that he’d thought his project and plans were bad in any way, but he’ll never be able to see the Fire Nation’s problems through the eyes of the Earth Kingdom. Part of him had been concerned that Toph or Suki would be offended by his insinuation that the Earth-Fire citizens need his royal intervention. Part of him had worried that he’d made some mistake in his careful planning, and that under Suki’s militaristic scrutiny, it would all fall apart. To have both of their consent and agreement is a huge burden lifted.

As a most pleasant surprise, Zuko now feels a little more like eating. He blushes in the face of the brilliant smile Sokka gives him when he ladles some fruit into his bowl and begins to actually eat. He can’t say why that embarrasses him so much, though. Maybe it’s just humiliating to be in such poor shape that being able to stomach anything warrants pride or affirmation.

As soon as he finishes his food, he pushes himself to his feet, using the table to balance. Sokka’s up in a moment to steady him. Zuko places a gently resistant hand to his chest.

“It’s alright, Sokka, I just want to take a short walk.”

Sokka frowns at him. “You can barely stand. I think I should probably go with you.”

“Sokka…”

“Hey, I’ll let you try to walk on your own, okay? Just… let me at least go with you and hold Izumi for you. That way, if you stumble, you won’t have to worry about her.”

Damn Sokka and his logic. With a resigned sigh, Zuko lets Sokka carefully lift Izumi from his arms. Sokka steps away to allow Zuko to shuffle around his cushion and begin walking away from the table, out from the circle of colored lanterns. He hears Sokka say something to the group, then his heavy footsteps are approaching, catching up to him.

When Zuko turns his head slightly to look at Sokka, he sees that he’s brought one of the lanterns with him. It’s blue like his eyes and the Water Tribe clothes that he favors, even when he’s in the Fire Nation, where the weather should leave him sweating uncomfortably under his insulated layers.

“Aren’t you hot?” Zuko asks. “I’ve always wondered how you can stand to wear furs here.”

“Eh, it’s not so bad. I mean, this is the Water Tribe look, but I’ve made some strategic adjustments. See?” Sokka gestures to his sleeveless tunic, his pants that look more like Fire Nation style on closer inspection, his Earth Kingdom shoes custom made to resemble Water Tribe boots.

“Well, that’s certainly dedication,” Zuko mutters.

Sokka lets out a bellowing laugh that gets an equally loud, “Shut up, Sokka!” yelled at their backs from Toph.

“I think that translates to ‘Please move away from the table,’” Sokka interprets.

“I think you’re right. Shall we?”

The gardens are huge, full of winding paths and lots of distance to put between them and the rest of the dinner party. In the dark, the beauty of the place can’t fully be appreciated, but Zuko can see it all in his mind. He and Izumi had spent many days strolling or running through the gardens.

They cross a small bridge that arches over a clear, tiny stream. Zuko recognizes this as a landmark to indicate how near they are to the other end of the gardens. At the edge of the garden, he knows, there’s an entrance to the palace, closer to where Ozai is being held in an underground cell and closer to where Azula is kept locked in the psychiatric chambers. The proximity sends a shiver up his spine.

When he abruptly turns away and begins walking instead back toward the way they came and closer to the outer wall, Sokka follows. Zuko doubts he knows why going any further would be unwise, but all the same, he gives off the impression that he understands something about how important it is to Zuko to be anywhere but there. Only one other person has ever understood him so implicitly, and as he realizes that for the first time since Izumi’s death, he’s able to act without explaining himself, he feels a rush of gratitude for Sokka.

Zuko finally stops inside a simple little pavilion nestled away under a canopy of cherry blossom trees. In the daytime, sunlight filters in so peacefully, and pink petals fall like snow—a comparison that Zuko had only thought to make after returning from his banishment.

Sokka hangs the lantern at the entrance of the pavilion while Zuko lights the candles set into the posts. Grasping one of the posts, he gently lowers himself to the ground and settles into a comfortable position leaning back against said post.

Sokka folds himself down in front of Zuko, mirroring his cross-legged position. Izumi is sleeping soundly in the crook of his arm, her tiny nose buried in the warmth of Sokka’s chest and a tiny fist grasping his tunic. Zuko can’t help the smile that twitches on his lips.

“I’d give her back,” Sokka says softly. “But I don’t want to wake her.”

“It’s alright. I’ve got her whole childhood to make up for a lost few minutes.” Zuko does reach out to pet her hair, thick and dark—a contrast against the pale blue of Sokka’s tunic.

“They’re worried about you, y’know.” Sokka’s voice maintains that low rumble, but there’s an edge of his own concern that Zuko can’t ignore. “I would’ve let you come out here alone if I didn’t know that someone far more hands-on about your well-being would come if I didn’t.”

“You mean Katara?”

Sokka chuckles. “Who else?” he says fondly. “Though, I have to say, she’s not the only one who’d be on the more invasive side. Toph and Ty Lee would try to get you to talk. Suki and Aang would insist on giving you well-intentioned but ultimately unwanted advice. Mai would probably be alright, but whether or not she’s good company is up for debate. Also, if Izumi were my daughter, I wouldn’t feel totally at ease with her being held by a woman who keeps knives in her sleeves.”

Sokka seems to consider this quite seriously for a moment, looking between Izumi and his own arm, as if trying to work out the mechanics of holding a baby and having a sleeve full of blades without anyone getting cut. Zuko gives him a moment before speaking.

“And what about you?” he finally asks. “Why aren’t you worrying over me, or giving me advice, or trying to force me to talk?”

Sokka’s eyes say how carefully he’s considering his next words. “I guess it’s because… well, in a way, I understand you.”

Zuko feels a nasty twist of malice in his heart—how dare Sokka imply that he could even fathom the profound loss that Zuko’s experiencing—but he tempers his anger and waits for Sokka to continue.

“Do you remember the first time we had a real conversation?” Sokka asks. “Back when we were on our way to the Boiling Rock?” Zuko nods. “And you remember how I said that my first girlfriend turned into the Moon? Yue. That was her name.” A small pause. “I know—I know it’s not exactly the same, what you’re going through and what I went through. Yue may have been my first love, but our connection was fleeting and kind of doomed from the start. You’ve lost your wife. So I won’t try to pretend that losing Yue was anywhere near your level of pain, but I want you to know that I do know something about loss. So I’m never gonna push you to talk about it. I know it doesn’t come easy. It never will.”

In that moment, with his head hung and his jaw set squarely against the threat of tears, Sokka looks so sad and so young. The boy who wishes he could save the girl he loves is still there in that strong man that Zuko knows. That child is a shadow Sokka will always carry within himself, just as Zuko will always carry the guilt of Izumi’s death.

“Sokka, I’m so sorry,” Zuko whispers. “I had no idea.” He reaches out and brushes his thumb under Sokka’s eye, where a single tear had escaped and begun to run a familiar path down his face.

“No, I’m sorry,” Sokka says thickly. “This is about you, and I just made it about me, and that’s not fair. I should be comforting you—it’s not your job to deal with my old wounds.”

“I’m your friend, stupid.” Zuko rests his hand on Sokka’s shoulder and squeezes gently. “And twisted though it may be, hearing that you understand me… it helps me. I feel like that’s a terrible thing to say, considering the context, but it’s true. I feel safer with you. I don’t feel as if I have to pretend that I’m strong or that I’m ready to move on. So thank you.”

Sokka nods. “Thank you, as well. For listening… and for not making me feel like the worst friend in the world for bringing up my dead girlfriend to make you feel better.”

Zuko lets out a wet, choked laugh. Oh, spirits, it shouldn’t be funny—none of it is—but as always, Sokka never fails to phrase sincerity in an unexpectedly entertaining way. Sokka joins in hesitantly, and their laughter builds until they’re both laughing and crying, holding their sides and pretending not to see the tears falling uncontrollably from both their eyes.

“Wow. What a pair we make,” Sokka jokes, when their laughter has died and their tears stop flowing. “Get a few more guys with dead partners and we could throw ourselves the best pity party you’ve ever seen.”

“Actually, I think we’re doing just fine with only the two of us,” Zuko answers. “I mean, here we are, sitting alone under a pavilion in the dark, crying about things we can’t change, while the rest of our friends are having a grand little reunion. I don’t think it gets much more pitiful than that.”

Sokka sighs. “Yeah, I can’t argue with that.”

They lapse into silence. Zuko turns his head, stares out into the darkness. He imagines he can see back the way they came, back to their friends. Surely they’re beginning to worry by now. Katara will have put together a rescue team. He imagines he can see his palace and through a window that belongs to a bedroom that’s too big for one man and his loneliness.

And past that room, there’s a whole palace of empty rooms and rooms housing diplomats that don’t really know or care about anything but themselves and rooms full of guards and servants who are loyal to a young Fire Lord that they talk about in hushed tones.

He startles when Sokka’s hand settles gently on his knee. He stares at the hand, then his eyes trace up the muscles in Sokka’s arm, up to his shoulder and up his neck, his chin, his gentle lips, and wide nose, to his eyes that are open and kind.

“You can talk to me about it,” he says. “Not now, but in the future. If you ever want to.” His thumb rubs light circles on Zuko’s leg. “I won’t force you before you’re ready, though. I promise.”

Zuko puts his hand over Sokka’s, an acknowledgment of the unique understanding that they have for each other and the bond that comes with. “Thank you.”

The sound of running feet on rock shatters the reverie. Zuko lets go of Sokka’s hand, and Sokka’s hand disappears from Zuko’s knee.

Only a second later, Aang, Katara, and Mai rush into the pavilion. “Guys,” Aang pants, “Guys, you won’t believe what’s happened! C’mon, come with us!” He grabs Zuko by the wrist and starts tugging him out from under the pavilion and back toward the palace.

“Aang, what? Slow down.” Zuko fumbles to catch onto a post so Aang doesn’t send him sprawling. “Katara, what is he talking about? Is something wrong?”

“No, everything’s fine,” Katara assures him. She, Sokka, and Mai approach at a much more reasonable pace. “Suki and Ty Lee have gone to help the other Kyoshi Warriors, and Toph’s with them as back-up. They said something about four of the Kyoshi Warriors returning from an assignment and something about a prisoner?”

Zuko’s breath catches in his throat. “A prisoner?” His voice comes out as weak as his body suddenly feels. He reaches out blindly and finds himself caught by Sokka on one side and Mai on the other. “Did they say anything else?”

Katara looks troubled, like she’s hesitant to answer for fear that her words will hurt Zuko. Thankfully, Mai has less reservations and answers for her.

“They said they found and raided a small camp of Ozai’s supporters. There was a fight, which the Kyoshi Warriors won easily, and most of the men are already on their way to a remote prison. But one of the men said that he had information that you might want to hear. If it’s any good, he wants his freedom and a new identity.”

“What’s the information?” He doesn’t know why he asks. He already knows—knew from the moment the prisoner was mentioned. He knows what Mai’s going to tell him.

Mai looks him in the eye. “He says he knows who killed Izumi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I foreshadowing Ozai/Azula scenes? The world may never know. Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and you can find me on tumblr [@lastoftherealblues](http://lastoftherealblues.tumblr.com/)


	7. The Interrogation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrightus Dightus, this is a slightly shorter chapter (because last week absolutely destroyed my ass), but it's pretty intense so I hope that makes up for it. Lots of emotions and more Zukka for ur souls ;) Enjoy!
> 
> P.S. I also edited the summary bc this has taken a slightly different direction than the original summary plan would have you believe

They go straight to the Prison Tower.

Mai leads the way, swift and light on her feet. She had loved Izumi as a sister, and though she hasn’t shown her grief outwardly, Zuko knows that her need for vengeance is second only to his own.

Zuko, Aang, Katara, and Sokka run behind her. At first, Zuko is able to keep pace with his friends, the adrenaline driving him through his weakness. All his physical pain fades beneath the desperation of his rage. This man knows who murdered his wife. For the first time in months, there is a spark of hope that there will be justice for Izumi’s death. Zuko will make him talk.

He makes it through the gardens and the palace—where they stop briefly to wake Iroh and leave Izumi under his care and for Zuko to switch into his Fire Lord regalia—and halfway through the city. His body is numb to the pain he’s felt since he awoke, and his legs fly. Then his energy begins to wane and he starts to fall behind.

“Sokka,” he pants. He can’t, he can’t push himself any further, and he sobs. All he wants is to know who killed Izumi and how to avenge her, but his body is traitorous and so weak. It isn’t fair. “Sokka, wait.”

Sokka skids to a halt and turns back. He looks into Zuko’s eyes, looks behind him to where the others have also stopped to wait, looks back. He’s back at Zuko’s side, cupping his cheek tenderly, thumb stroking his skin. “I’m gonna carry you, okay?”

Sokka turns and crouches, and Zuko climbs onto his back. He feels guilty that Sokka keeps having to carry him around, but as Sokka straightens, the muscles in his back flex and ripple and remind Zuko just how strong he is. Carrying Zuko isn’t a problem for him at all. Zuko wraps his arms around Sokka’s neck as Sokka takes off running again, quickly catching up with everyone else.

The dark shapes of houses pass by, with only the occasional glow of a lamp or a flame illuminating someone’s window. Mai guides them through winding streets with ease, darting toward the edge of the city, closer and closer to the prison tower. If the citizens see or hear their little group flying past under the cover of darkness, they can’t possibly know who it is or why they hasten the way they do. 

The buildings fall away abruptly, signaling the group’s departure from the city. The landscape begins to slope upward, but Sokka’s pace never falters. If anything, he runs even faster. Zuko clings tighter as the edge of the caldera looms closer.

When they come to the base of the rise on which the Prison Tower stands, they slow to a brisk walk. Sokka sets Zuko down but stays close at his side, letting Zuko put an arm over his shoulders for support.

The guards tense at the group’s approach, expecting trouble, but seeing Zuko, they immediately relax and part to let them enter without a word.

“Toph and the Kyoshi Warriors should be here already,” Mai says. “I hope they’ve left him in his cage. Otherwise I might kill him.”

Zuko knows what she means. If he felt stronger, he’s certain he would fry the prisoner for the smallest misstep. As it is, Mai might leave the prisoner wishing it _were_ only Zuko’s firebending that he has to worry about. Yes, she’s highly disciplined and has a significantly less explosive temper than Zuko, but this situation is much more personal than usual. Zuko thinks grimly that if the man knows what’s good for him, he’ll surrender all the information he has without a fuss.

A single Kyoshi Warrior, who Zuko recognizes as one of the four who tracked the prisoner down, waits for them on the second floor landing. It’s a relief to see her there because normally, new prisoners are first kept on higher floors—it discourages any rash prison breaks when there’s so many guards and stairs in the way. Someone must’ve decided it better to keep this prisoner down here. Zuko wonders if the consideration is for him.

“Is he in here?” he asks the Kyoshi Warrior.

She nods. “We’ve got him locked in the cage and heavily guarded. He’s a nonbender, but we decided to bind his hands anyway. He said he’s ready to talk whenever you arrive.”

Zuko’s hands twitch, the hint of a spark on his fingertips. “Then let’s get started.”

The Kyoshi Warriors part to let Zuko through, and Sokka lets him go when he pulls away, determined to stand tall and intimidating before this man. Each step sends a jolt of pain up his legs, but he grits his teeth and holds his chin high. This is no time to falter, to show weakness. He stops in front of the cage.

There is a moment of perfect stillness.

“Look at me,” Zuko commands. The man looks up from where he’s kneeling on the floor, hands tied behind his back. “What is your name?”

“Chen Shun.” It’s little more than a whisper.

Zuko regards Chen Shun. The man—or rather, the boy, for he can’t be more than seventeen—is terrified. Zuko can feel his fear crackling through the air. He doesn’t know what Zuko might do to him, whether the information he has is payment enough for his life to be spared. But he is also brave, a trait that Zuko can respect even as he loathes this boy who possesses such qualities.

“Chen Shun, you’re here because you struck a bargain with the Kyoshi Warriors. Do you recall the terms of your agreement?”

Chen Shun nods.

“Speak to me!” Zuko’s voice rings out in the cell, echoing angrily back at him.

“Yes, Fire Lord Zuko, I remember.” His voice shakes. He shifts on his knees. “You’re going to grant me a fresh start.”

“If you want a new life,” Zuko says coldly. “You’ll have to earn it. Now tell me what you know about Fire Lady Izumi’s murderers. No tricks, no lies.” Behind him, Toph steps forward. “Trust me, I’ll know.”

“They’re part of the New Ozai Society,” Chen Shun begins. “As you must know, my Lord, those are Ozai’s most ardent supporters. They think you an usurper, an imposter—which isn’t true, of course!” he adds, cowering, when Zuko raises his hands just enough to be a threat.

Zuko waits for Chen Shun to raise his eyes again. “Go on.”

“They’d planned on killing you both and freeing the rest of your family—” Zuko flinches at the reference to Azula and Ozai. “—I mean to say, F—Ozai and Azula,” Chen Shun corrects himself meekly. “They want one of them on the throne.”

“Chen Shun,” Zuko says airily. “All of what you’ve told me is true. And none of it is news to me.” He turns to leave and signals to a Fire Nation guard. “Have him moved to a higher cell. I don’t think he’s got anything worth his freedom.”

“No, please!” Chen Shun begs. “There’s more! They—they have a hideout—in the tunnels of Crescent Island.”

Zuko turns back and strides toward him. “Crescent Island was destroyed,” he says sharply. “I was there. Those tunnels are filled with solid lava.”

“They dug out the tunnels.” Chen Shun sounds desperate to be believed.

Zuko glances around. The Kyoshi Warriors’ faces give away nothing about their feelings on hearing this news. They line the walls of the cells, staring Chen Shun down, absolutely still except for their breathing. In their hands, they hold their weapons, ready to strike if need be. Suki and Ty Lee are the only ones that stand apart from the rest.

Aang leans against the doorway, looking far more passive than Zuko knows he is. He’s hearing every word of this, weighing it in his mind with wisdom and balance.

Katara and Sokka stand together off to the side. They’re allowing Zuko to take the lead, but Zuko knows that if he asked, either or both of them would be willing to chew Chen Shun out on his behalf. He almost steps aside to let Katara do just that. He’s seen first-hand how scary she can be.

Mai and Toph are just behind Zuko. Toph is concentrated on the ground in anticipation of catching Chen Shun in a lie. Mai is poised to attack at one word from Zuko.

Zuko tempers his frustration. “Alright, I’ll entertain your claims,” he says. “Have you seen these new tunnels? Do you have proof that the New Ozai Society indeed has a cell residing on Crescent Island?” His anger rises with each word. He really doesn’t have time for wild chases or men who will tell stories with no credibility in exchange for their lives. He paces in front of the cage to calm himself.

“I… haven’t seen the tunnels myself, My Lord,” Chen Shun says. He hangs his head. “But I swear on my freedom—on my life—that I’m telling the truth.”

“Are you? Why should I believe you? Where’s your proof?”

Chen Shun’s eyes follow Zuko back and forth, wide and terrified. “I only have my word, but please, I’m not lying, I swear. And I know that they’re on Crescent Island, even if I haven’t seen the tunnels myself, because I—” he lowers his eyes—“I helped the men escape. The ones who assassinated the Fire Lady. I sailed them out to Crescent Island and watched them disappear into the mountain.”

Zuko whirls on Chen Shun. “You what!?” His hands clench into fists, producing fire daggers. Chen Shun shrinks away from the flames, burning white at the ends. “You freely admit then, that you assisted these men. That you were an accomplice in my wife’s murder. That you’ve committed the highest form of treason, which warrants a death sentence.” Zuko doesn’t recognize the voice coming from his mouth, so calm in its rage. Like when fire burns the skin so brutally that it feels cold.

Chen Shun cries out in fear when Zuko advances on the cage. “My Lord!” he sobs. Have mercy on me! Please!”

Zuko barely hears his pleas. He will destroy this boy. He will see the life snuffed out of him like Izumi’s was. Then he will send his navy to Crescent Island, and if the New Ozai Society is there, he will see them decimated mercilessly.

He stares down at Chen Shun and his tearful eyes, his trembling lip. Bound and helpless to protect himself against his furious Fire Lord. Pathetic. Then Zuko blinks, and he’s no longer looking at Chen Shun. No, he sees a little boy who tried to do the right thing after a lifetime of ignorance. A little boy who was taught in one blinding, terrible moment of pain the cruelty of fire, the shame of his own face.

He opens his hands and the daggers are gone into smoke.

“If we find the New Ozai Society where you say they are,” he breathes deeply and turns his back on Chen Shun, “you will have your freedom. And your new life.”

“Thank you, Fire Lord Zuko,” Chen Shun sobs.

“But if what you’ve told me is worth nothing, you will pay. I’ll spare your life, but that life will be spent here in prison. You’ll never see the outside of a cell again. Am I understood?”

“Yes, Fire Lord Zuko.”

“Then we’re done here.”

Zuko leaves the cell and the tower with dignity, his friends trailing behind him in respectful silence. He doesn’t feel good or vindicated, not like he’d thought he would. He’d thought he’d delight in having one of the men guilty of Izumi’s death at his mercy. He’d thought perhaps it would help to take out his anger on someone who deserved it for wronging him.

But what he’d almost done to Chen Shun… it wasn’t right. There is no honor in taking advantage of a man’s—a boy’s—submission, no honor in fire scorching the defenseless. Zuko is disgusted with himself.

When his steps start to falter, Sokka is there in a heartbeat.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“I’m fine.” Zuko doesn’t—can’t—look at Sokka. Sokka’s an honorable man and a respectable warrior. How can he be so understanding to Zuko?

“Do you need me to carry you? It’s a long walk back to the palace.” Sokka’s keeping his voice low, and Zuko is glad for it. He’s already ashamed of himself, and if everyone knew how weak he feels, it would only be worse.

“Not yet,” Zuko says wearily. “I may need you to later, though.” He tries to smile up at Sokka, but he knows how flat the expression is. Sokka doesn’t mention that he notices, but his hold on Zuko tightens just the littlest bit.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be right here when you need me,” he says. “Should I take you straight to your rooms when we get back? You’re exhausted—and don’t you dare try to deny that.”

Zuko doesn’t. “Take me to my office first,” he says instead. “I have to write an order to send the Fire Navy to Crescent Island immediately. With our luck, they’ll know they’ve been discovered soon, and I’d rather catch them now before we lose them and have to start all over again. The sooner I have ships on the water, the better.”

“You got it,” Sokka says. He glances behind them at the rest of their friends. “Are you gonna send any Kyoshi Warriors too? They could be extremely helpful.”

Zuko shakes his head. “No, I don’t think so. I doubt Suki will want to sacrifice Kyoshi lives for this.”

“Nonsense.” Sokka turns his head back. “Hey, Suki! Come up here a minute, would you?”

Suki comes up to Zuko’s other side. “Yeah?”

“Zuko wants to ask you something.”

“No I—” Zuko sighs. “Would you be willing to send some Kyoshi Warriors with my troops to Crescent Island?”

“Are you kidding me?” Suki says. “I’ll go myself!” Zuko’s startled at how angry she sounds. He can’t tell through her makeup, but he’s sure her expression is positively murderous. “If those traitors think they’re getting away with this, they’re dead wrong. You just say the word and I’ll be off to Crescent Island with my best Warriors.”

Zuko blinks at her. “Uh… okay. Well, I don’t think you need to leave immediately, but if that’s what you want to do, then that’s great. How many Kyoshi Warriors should I have preparations made for?”

“Hmmm.” Suki taps her chin thoughtfully. “Six. It’ll be me and my five best.”

“Take Ty Lee,” Zuko suggests. “If she wants to go.”

“I was already thinking about it, so if you think I should, I’ll definitely ask her. And I think I might ask Mai too.” She glances back. “Yeah, I think I will, otherwise she might stow away and go on a solo rampage.”

Suki falls back then, and Zuko can hear her talking to Ty Lee and Mai. He’s glad for the space. Not that he doesn’t like his friends, but right now, he can’t handle more than one person at a time.

He also, for some reason he can’t quite figure out, only wants to be in Sokka’s company. It must be because he knows that none of the others can understand how he’s feeling. None of them have had the love of their life, or any love for that matter, die suddenly. None of them have been helpless to save that love.

And Zuko wouldn’t wish that on any of them, so in a way, he’s happy that he doesn’t want any of them to talk to him, that none of them can relate to him. He hopes they never have to.

To his surprise, he makes it back to the palace without having to ask Sokka to carry him. It isn’t easy, of course, and by the time they reach his office, he’s trembling from physical exhaustion. His mind is still sharp, though, and he writes his letters and orders quickly.

Then he sits back to let the ink dry. He’s got orders for the General of the Fire Navy and orders for six individual captains of ships. That should be enough.

He hears Sokka step up behind him, then his hands settle on Zuko’s shoulders, massaging gently. Zuko leans back and lets his eyes fall closed. He’s so tired. He just wants to go to sleep and forget all of this.

“Is that all you have to do?” Sokka asks. “For now, at least?”

“Yes.” Zuko lets his head fall back against Sokka’s stomach. He opens his eyes and looks up at his friend. “Thank you.”

Sokka gives him a soft smile. “You don’t have to thank me. But you’re welcome.” He gives Zuko’s shoulders one last squeeze and steps around to roll up the scrolls. “I’ll get these sent off.”

Zuko rolls his head to the side to watch Sokka tie the scrolls to the messenger hawks and send them off one by one. He’s never quite understood how Sokka is so naturally skilled with the hawks. It’s fun to watch—the way Sokka talks to the hawks as he’s attaching the scrolls and walking them out to the balcony to let them fly off. And he knows each of them by name. Even Zuko doesn’t know that.

He sighs when Sokka returns and runs a hand through his long hair. “I think you might have to carry me to my rooms,” he says. “I’m not convinced I can get out of this chair.”

“Oh?” Sokka grins. “Sacrificing your dignity, Fire Lord?”

“Just this once,” Zuko concedes. “But don’t get used to it.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Sokka slots his arms underneath Zuko’s knees and back and lifts him with more ease than Zuko thinks is fair. Oh, he misses the days when he was stronger than Sokka and could beat him in a fight without breaking a sweat.

He tells Sokka as much, and Sokka laughs. “What? Is this you telling me that I make you insecure by how hot I’ve gotten?”

Zuko scoffs. “Of course not. I’m just saying that it was a lot of fun when I could kick your ass. Now my only entertainment is kicking Aang’s ass.”

“Hey, that’s pretty fun,” Sokka says.

“It’s not the same, though. He’s a pacifist and all he does is run away.”

“Hold Momo hostage or something. That’ll get him to fight you.”

“Agni above, no! Spirits, Sokka, I didn’t say I have a death wish.”

Sokka shrugs as he shoulders Zuko’s door open. “I’m just saying, if you want a pacifist, airbending monk to fight you, you’ve gotta raise the stakes.”

“Kidnapping Momo is not the solution.”

“It could be.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah, maybe. But I’m a gorgeous, lovable idiot, so can you really complain? And don’t answer that.” Sokka sets Zuko down on the edge of his bed. “Okay, let’s get you ready for bed.” He throws Zuko’s wardrobe open and takes stock of everything. “What do you usually wear to sleep?”

“That bed-robe on the far left,” Zuko says. “Also, you do know I can get myself ready for bed, right? You can go back to your rooms if you want.”

Sokka narrows his eyes at him. “I think not. You’ll fall over the moment you try to stand up and come over here, and you’ll probably break your arm too. Oh, and y’know who Katara will blame?”

“Uh… you?” Zuko guesses.

“Me! Buddy, you gotta think these things through.” Sokka taps his temple. “I’m not in the mood to be killed by my baby sister for leaving you alone here to fend for yourself. That’s no way for a warrior to go.”

“Alright, fine,” Zuko laughs, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. “You can stay and help me.”

“Awesome.” He comes back to the bed and lays the robe out. His hand comes up, brushes across Zuko’s forehead, through his hair. He gently removes the crown and tugs the tie from his topknot, and Zuko’s hair falls all the way down. Sokka brushes back the few strands that fall over his face. “Do you need me to take your robes off too, princess, or can you do that yourself?” he jokes.

“Mmmm.” Zuko tilts his head a bit and looks up at Sokka, weighing his options. “I think I’ll make you do it,” he decides.

“Oh, ugh, I walked into that,” Sokka groans. He shoves Zuko’s chest lightly. “Shut up, stop laughing.”

Zuko shakes his head. “No, it’s funny.”

“For you maybe.”

He gets to work wrestling with all the clasps and ties on Zuko’s robes anyway. The outer robe falls away, leaving Zuko feeling instantly lighter. The robe underneath, having significantly fewer ties, gives Sokka far less trouble.

Then all that’s left is the thin inner robe and his pants. Zuko shivers when Sokka unties the robe, his hands brushing Zuko’s bare skin as he pushes the fabric away.

He kneels before Zuko, and when his hands settle on the ties on the front, Zuko resolutely looks away, fighting the flush rising up his neck. Why is he so embarrassed by this? It’s just Sokka. They already took a bath together today—this should be nothing.

Sokka taps his hip, bringing him out of his thoughts. “Hey, lift up a second,” he says. Zuko obliges, and Sokka slides his pants down. He stands then and lifts up Zuko’s bed-robe. “Arms out.”

The soft silk slides over Zuko’s skin. Sokka pulls the front closed and ties it off.

“Thanks,” Zuko mumbles. He scoots himself up the bed to lean back on his pillows. Looking Sokka in the eye is still too embarrassing, so he closes his eyes. He can hear Sokka gathering up the formal robes and placing them in a basket to be cleaned.

“Do you want me to go?”

Zuko opens his eyes. Sokka’s standing by the door, looking unsure of himself.

“Stay a while?” Zuko asks. Immediately, he knows he said the right thing because Sokka’s face lights up and his shoulders relax.

“Sure.” He goes to grab a chair, but Zuko stops him.

“Just stay here.” He pats the other side of the bed. “I think I’ll feel better if there’s someone here. It’s so lonely when it’s just me.”

“Okay.”

Sokka kicks his boots off, removes all his weapons, and shrugs off his outer tunic. His wolf tail comes out too. Once he’s made himself comfortable, he lays down on his back next to Zuko, arms folded behind his head. They lay there in silence for a long while.

Sokka breaks the silence. “Today was a lot, huh?”

“Yeah.” Zuko thinks back on the day. He can’t believe Sokka only got here this morning. And he’d had more fun than he’s had in a while in the bathhouse. Then he’d had dinner, received word that the Kyoshi Warriors got him a lead in tracking down those responsible for Izumi’s death, interrogated the man they captured for him. Yes, so much had happened in the last twenty four hours, it’s almost surreal.

“I guess you’re probably glad that we’re one step closer to getting justice.”

“Yeah...” Zuko sighs. “Is it hard, not having closure? Not getting to have the life you thought you’d finally found or getting to say a proper goodbye?”

Sokka nods. “At first. I’ve had a lot of time to come to terms with it, though. Mostly I get sad when I think about what I could’ve done differently to maybe save her. Like maybe if I’d just knocked Zhao out before he even had a chance to kill Tui, then Yue wouldn’t have had to die. I just feel guilty for not protecting her when I promised I would.”

“I know what you mean.” Zuko blinks, and hot tears run from the corners of his eyes. He feels so guilty for Izumi’s death. He shouldn’t have let his guard down. That was his fault, and if he could find a way to go back, he’d have never relaxed for a moment, even when the New Ozai Society went quiet and they thought they were safe. “Y’know, if it’s anyone’s fault that Yue died, it’s mine,” he says. “I kidnapped Aang from the Spirit Oasis.”

Sokka laughs sadly. “No, I’ve never blamed you. If you hadn’t kidnapped Aang, his body would’ve still been there when Zhao arrived, and Zhao would’ve killed him. I think you may have accidentally saved us all by taking Aang and running off into that blizzard.”

“So even when I was trying to thwart you guys, I was helping.” Zuko chuckles. “And here I was thinking I was bad at being good back then.”

Sokka hums in agreement. “Hey, Zuko? Can I ask you a question?”

“Go for it.”

Sokka rolls on his side to face Zuko. “Why didn’t you hurt Chen Shun? I know you wanted to. I saw the look in your eyes.”

Zuko doesn’t take his eyes off the ceiling. He knows the answer, but it’s a hard thing to admit, a moment he hates to relive. But Sokka deserves to know, doesn’t he? He’s bared his soul and reopened all his old wounds for Zuko, so isn’t it only fair that Zuko does the same for him?

“He looked like me. I mean, not _like_ me, of course, but I saw myself in him.” He takes a deep breath. This will hurt him to say aloud, but he needs to. “I don’t think I’ve ever really told you how I got my scar, have I?”

“No.”

“My father gave it to me.” Beside him, Sokka sucks in a sharp breath, but he continues regardless. “It was because I’d spoken out of turn in a war meeting. He was going to send a rookie battalion of Fire Nation soldiers off as a decoy. They would’ve been slaughtered, and I couldn’t understand how he could possibly justify that—I still don’t. I thought someone should stand up for their lives.”

“You did the right thing,” Sokka assures him.

Zuko shakes his head. “My father didn’t see it that way. I’d embarrassed him and disrespected him. He told me I’d have to fight an Agni Kai as punishment, which I assumed would be against the general who I contradicted.” He squeezes his eyes shut. “But it wasn’t.”

“It was your father.”

“Yes,” Zuko whispers. “I refused to fight him. He was my father, for Agni’s sake. I was just a boy—I loved him, worshiped him. No matter if I lost or won, I couldn’t bear to fight him. So I pleaded with him to let me surrender, begged him to reconsider. I would take the shame of forfeiting if it meant I didn’t have to fight him. But he refused. And he burned me.” A wretched sob forces itself from Zuko’s chest. “It hurt so badly, I thought it would kill me. And I was so confused and ashamed. For a very long time, I wished he _had_ killed me. I thought it would be easier than living in exile, knowing that my own father despised me.

“I just—was just so young and scared. Spirits, Sokka, I was only a child—thirteen years old. I didn’t understand what crime I’d committed to warrant such a horrible punishment. For the first time in my life, I’d thought I was standing up for the right thing, and for my trouble, I lost everything.” Zuko stops. His throat feels swollen shut with tears.

“So when you looked down at Chen Shun… Oh, Zuko. Oh, Spirits, you—”

Zuko nods. “I’d become my father. In a moment, I saw everything for what it was. That wasn’t me trying to avenge Izumi. I was nothing more than the Fire Lord threatening a defenseless boy who had already surrendered. Chen Shun was just trying to do what he thought was the right thing, even if his only motivation was mostly likely self-preservation. How could I do to him what my father did to me? That would make me no better.”

Sokka reaches out and cups Zuko’s cheek, runs his thumb along the bottom edge of Zuko’s scar. “You’re not Ozai, and you never will be. Do you think Ozai would’ve even thought twice before burning Chen Shun?”

“No.”

“See? You feel remorse for just thinking about hurting him. That already makes you a better man and a better Fire Lord.”

Zuko reaches up and grasps Sokka’s wrist, stilling his hand. He gently draws his hand away and instead intertwines their fingers. He stares down at where their hands are linked. “Do you really think that?”

Sokka squeezes his hand. “Yes.”

“Thank you.” Zuko’s voice cracks. “You have no idea how much I needed to hear that.”

They lie like that, still and together, breaths synchronized in the dark. It’s perfect. It aches. And it’s exactly where Zuko wants to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh golly, can you believe I spread one day over three whole chapters? Smh what am I even on at this point. Kudos and comments are always loved and cherished, and as per usual, you can catch me on tumblr [@lastoftherealblues](http://lastoftherealblues.tumblr.com/)!


	8. A Decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy! Sorry it's been so long since I updated--this semester is seriously whooping my ass, so I've had less time to write than I'd like. Also I started two Umbrella Academy fics because somebody (me) has no self control. Anyways, thanks for waiting and enjoy!

The first wash of the sun on the horizon pulls Zuko up from his sleep. He’d been having a dream—a good one, he thinks, and maybe Izumi had been there—but as he tries to grasp at it, it slips away. He blinks blearily, reorients himself. The room is still mostly dark, but ever so slowly, the sunlight is beginning to seep in.

Bit by bit, his mind returns to his body. He’s aware of the soft sheets laying across his legs, his hair tickling his shoulders. His fingers twitch where they’re still enveloped by another hand. Izumi’s hand? No. Sokka’s hand.

The realization doesn’t hurt as much as he thought it would.

He spends several long minutes just staring. The early morning light reaching into the room casts a faint glow over Sokka’s skin, and it mellows and warms his strong features. His hair, soft and fine, lays over his face, the ends fluttering just slightly with each exhale. He looks younger in his sleep, without that constantly furrowed brow of concentration.

Sokka’s snoring falters and he mumbles something incoherent when Zuko gently extracts his hand and leaves the bed. For a second, Zuko pauses. He’d feel kind of bad if he woke Sokka up, because he knows that neither of the Water Tribe siblings are morning people, as the trait seems to be universal among their people. Sokka doesn’t wake, though. He instead wraps an arm around Zuko’s pillow, buries his face in it, and promptly begins snoring again.

Satisfied that Sokka will be out for a while longer, Zuko stands and goes over to his wardrobe. The walk is easier today, much to his relief. Each step doesn’t feel wobbly and like he’s walking on spikes, and he’s only a little winded by the time he crosses the room. The spirit water really does work fast.

As he dresses as quietly as he can, he glances back at the bed every so often to make sure Sokka is still sleeping soundly. Once he’s dressed, he scribbles out a quick note to let Sokka know where he’s gone. The last thing he needs is for Sokka to panic because he thinks Zuko’s missing. Not that it wouldn’t make for an entertaining scene. It’s just that today is far too important for Zuko to even consider contributing to any nonsense.

First, he has to meet with General Hye-Yeong and the ship captains that will be leading the siege on Crescent Island. The ships won’t be fully equipped and the men won’t be ready to leave for another two days, but in the meantime, plans must be made to ensure that this cell of the New Ozai Society is completely shut down with as little Fire Navy life lost as possible. Plans have to be made, strategies discussed. Zuko hates to admit it, but the New Ozai Society is a legitimate organization and a real threat. They must be careful.

The meeting will also be an opportunity to acquaint Zuko’s officers with the Kyoshi Warriors who are going. Zuko has no doubt that the Kyoshi Warriors will be able to operate with no problem surrounded by Fire Navy soldiers. They’re by far the most versatile and skilled fighters Zuko’s ever had the misfortune of facing, and that had been when they were only teenagers. No, it’s his soldiers that may need a briefing on what to expect from the Kyoshi Warriors, because as powerful as the Fire Nation’s military is, none of the soldiers have ever fought alongside a group like the Kyoshi Warriors with their swift movements and deft techniques. Zuko doesn’t want them to fumble out of surprise.

After the meeting, he’ll need to go down to the harbor. It’s important that he make an appearance as the head of this operation, in order to send a clear and powerful message. This is how the Fire Nation deals with treason. Zuko doesn’t normally like to use his position for purposes of intimidation, but over the years, he’s learned that sometimes exceptions have to be made. He has to make sure that people know his commitment to peace does note extend to traitors and terrorists.

He finishes the note and leaves it on his bedside table, then, sparing a quick glance at the still sound-asleep Sokka, he slips out of the room. The guards outside snap to attention on either side of him. Zuko tries to ignore how terrible it feels to be feared by his guards.

“At ease,” he says. “I’m headed to the Council Room for an important meeting. My friend Sokka is still asleep in my chambers, so I’d like for you to stay here with him. And ah, just make sure to direct him to the note on my bedside table should he miss it and conclude that I’ve been abducted.”

“Yes, Fire Lord Zuko,” the guard on the right says. “Anything else?”

“No, that’s all, thank you. As you were.”

Assured that the guards understand and that Sokka will be fine, he begins the walk to the Council Room. He really is impressed with the power of the spirit water. Not two days ago, he was completely bedridden after weeks spent on the brink of death, but nobody would be able to guess that simply by watching him stride through the corridors of the Royal Palace.

He runs into Suki not too far from the Council Room. She’s in her full Kyoshi Warrior uniform, looking ready to take charge.

“Oh, Zuko!” she says. “I’m glad I caught you before the meeting.”

“Hey, Suki. Did you need something?” Zuko’s surprised at how happy Suki sounds to have met up. He can’t think of anything that she might need to tell him before the meeting. There’s a sharp moment where he wonders if she might be rescinding her offer to take Kyoshi Warriors to Crescent Island. It’s a distressing thought—he’s sure he needs their help. But Suki wouldn’t do that. What then?

“I was just wondering if you’d seen Sokka. Katara was looking for him last night, but we couldn’t find him. She was hoping you knew, since last time we saw him he was walking you back to your quarters.”

“Oh, yes. He spent the night in my quarters. We would’ve let her know, except… well, we hadn’t exactly planned for it to happen.”

Suki smiles. “Just fell asleep, huh?” To Zuko’s surprise, there’s no judgment, no bitterness in her voice. “I have to say, I’m not surprised, and I’m glad it’s not just me he does that to. Seriously, I cannot tell you the number of times he’s fallen asleep at my place. Sometimes he doesn’t even make it to the bed.” She laughs. “I hope you didn’t trip on him when you got up this morning.”

“No, he, uh,” Zuko clears his throat. “He slept in the bed.”

Suki’s eyebrows shoot up. “Really? Please don’t tell me he forced you onto the sofa.”

“No.”

“Then—Oh.”

“Yeah.” Zuko knows he’s blushing, even though there’s no reason for it. It’s not like he’d cuddled with the man—there was probably enough space between their bodies for one more. Between Zuko’s time with Team Avatar during the war and the nights when everyone tried to cram into Uncle Iroh’s flat, he and Sokka had certainly slept in much closer quarters than that. The context is different this time, though. Either of them could’ve slept on some other piece of furniture.

Maybe Zuko’s just embarrassed about having held Sokka’s hand all night and the secret minutes he’d spent staring at Sokka before he got up. He still doesn’t know much about what’s normal for friends, but if he had to guess, he’d say last night was something else. Not weird, exactly, but something.

Suki clears her throat. “Well, then I guess you’ve discovered that he’s a loud snorer.”

Zuko laughs. “Oh, I already knew that. I’ve slept next to him and Appa at the same time, and Sokka is way louder.”

“Definitely,” Suki says. “Have you heard him talk in his sleep?”

“What? No.” Zuko sighs. “Is that something I should be looking forward to if he decides to sleep in my room ever again?”

“You should be dreading it,” Suki says with a smirk. “Do you know how much I’ve learned about Water Tribe ships and ice dodging from him, against my will?” She shakes her head. “It’s torturous.”

“Great.” He stops in front of the Council Room doors. “Well, thanks for the warning.”

“Anytime.” Suki smiles brightly. “Shall we?”

The two of them enter the Council Room together. Most of the officers and Kyoshi Warriors are already there, talking quietly to each other, but they fall silent when Zuko enters. Their eyes follow him as he walks to his seat at the head of the room. General Hye-Yeong and her officers are seated at his left, mirrored by the six Kyoshi Warriors and Mai on his right.

Zuko counts the people there. Including him and Suki, they’re at fourteen out of fifteen—one ship captain is still missing. Zuko’s tempted to be annoyed, but it’s not really a problem since everyone else is early. The captain has a few minutes before he’s actually late.

No sooner has Zuko thought this than the captain rushes into the room. He’s young, probably no older than Zuko, and flushed from his haste. He bows before taking his seat.

“Apologies, Fire Lord Zuko,” he pants. “There was unexpected trouble in the harbor.”

Zuko carefully hides his alarm. “Apology accepted, Captain. What was the trouble?”

“Several men attempted to sabotage my ship. They were in a small, fast ship of their own, and they were armed. We chased them off, but we couldn’t catch them. They were headed toward Crescent Island, though.”

Zuko meets Suki’s eyes and sees his concern reflected there. “You’re certain of this?”

“Absolutely,” the captain says. “Their ship flew the New Ozai Society’s flag, and they called out in praise of him and Princess Azula as they escaped.”

Zuko grits his teeth. This is bad. There’s no doubt that everyone here is aware of that. Any chance of surprising the New Ozai Society is gone. By now, they’ll have heard of Chen Shun’s capture, and now they’ve also seen six warships preparing to sail. It won’t be difficult for them to realize the Fire Nation is after them. Now it’s a matter of reaching Crescent Island before they can relocate.

“Captain, thank you for your information,” Zuko says. “It is most valuable. How soon can the ships be ready?” He directs this to all of his officers. “Can we sail any sooner than two days’ time?”

General Hye-Yeong frowns. Zuko can see her doing the calculations in her mind. Two days was already a lot to expect—one is near impossible. Finally she nods. “Give us today, and we can leave at first light tomorrow. We will have to make concessions in regards to rations and equipment, though. It’s up to you if we should prioritize speed or preparation.”

That’s a difficult decision. Can Zuko justify risking his soldiers on the chance that one single day will make a difference in negating the New Ozai Society’s head start? Can he ask his navy to go into a fight with numbers greater than their supplies?

“If I may,” one of the Kyoshi Warriors speaks up, “What about taking less soldiers? Would it be possible to take only the number of soldiers that the supplies can sustain?”

The question settles over the room, leaving varying reactions on the officers’ faces. Some of the captains look alarmed and uncertain, others amenable. General Hye-Yeong seems to be seriously considering it. Zuko isn’t sure if it will work, but it could. Even if they’re put at a number disadvantage, the soldiers they do bring will be better prepared to fight.

“We will have to carefully select soldiers and take only our best, but that would absolutely be possible,” General Hye-Yeong says. Her stern eyes dare any of the captains to defy her. “Captains, I want you to select three-quarters of your soldiers and dismiss the rest. Think carefully about the skill sets you want in your crew. We want only the best. Is that correct, Fire Lord Zuko?”

Zuko considers it. The new plan should work but he still has to resist the urge to scrub his hands over his face in frustration. That would be undignified of him, but spirits, this operation is running into so many problems. It’s moments like these that make him feel young, unprepared to be Fire Lord. He wants to make the right decision, but he’s struggling to know what that is. How would Azulon or Ozai handle a crisis like this? How would Iroh?

Well, he knows how his father and grandfather would react. They would send in a decoy to stall their enemies while the stronger ships prepared for a full force attack, and they wouldn’t care about each soldier’s life the way Zuko does.

But he doesn’t know what Iroh would do, and there’s no time to wait for his counsel, which typically comes after days of thought, and which tends to take longer to sort through than Zuko can afford at the moment. He’ll have to go with his instincts.

“We will do as General Hye-Yeong has said,” he decides. “General, I trust you to oversee this change in plans.”

“Yes, Fire Lord Zuko.”

“Good. And now, General, Captains, I’d like for you to meet the Kyoshi Warriors and my friend Mai, who will be accompanying you. Suki here is their leader, and she will brief you on the Kyoshi Warriors’ fighting technique, which I hope you will notify your crew of. This is to eliminate any confusion that may arise in battle if the soldiers are unaware of how the Kyoshi Warriors fight. Suki?”

“Thank you, Zuko. Now…”

Zuko lets his mind wander as Suki talks, into a dark corner that’s been nagging at him all day. He’s terrified that this will fail, that the New Ozai Society will slip through his fingers, leaving him back where he started. It would crush him if that happened. He loves Izumi, and this is the only way he has left to show that. He can never let that desperation show, though. People wouldn’t understand. He has to show the face of composure and calculating vengeance to the world, especially to the New Ozai Society.

Even around his friends, he’s not sure he wants to reveal this line of thought. They can know that Izumi’s death has affected him deeply—that’s only natural—but they don’t need to see how important it is to him that they capture and bring justice onto her killers. Especially Aang, who’d talk incessantly about showing mercy and forgiveness, which Zuko cannot do.

He thinks also of baby Izumi. If he doesn’t put down the New Ozai Society with a viciousness, then who’s to say they won’t come back to kill her too? His heart clenches at the thought of losing what’s left of his family. He doesn’t know if he could survive that with his mind and spirit intact.

He’s brought back to the present when the room falls silent. He gathers that Suki’s finished briefing the General and Captains on what to expect from the Kyoshi Warriors. There’s really nothing else to be said, so Zuko dismisses the meeting. The captains are to return to their ships to oversee the appropriate changes, while General Hye-Yeong perfects battle plans.

“We’ll be out in the gardens drilling our forms,” Suki says. “The remainder of the Kyoshi Warriors are still at your disposal, though.”

“Thank you,” Zuko says. He smiles. “I have to go down to the harbor, but then I think I’ll go spend some time with Izumi.”

Suki smiles back. “You do that… Y’know, it’s still kind of weird to think of you being a father. I feel like we’re all still too young for kids.”

“I know what you mean,” Zuko says. “Time goes too fast.”

“It sure does.” Suki sighs. “Well, I suppose I’ll see you in the morning. You’re coming to see us off, right?”

“Of course.” Zuko bows before they part ways. “Best of luck in your training.”

Suki leaves to join her small team of Kyoshi Warriors in the gardens, and Zuko starts the long walk to the harbor. He could order a palanquin and an escort, but that’s honestly more effort than it’s worth.

As he’s about to leave the palace, he spots Sokka jogging toward him.

“Zuko!” he calls. “Wait up!”

Zuko stops to let Sokka skid to a halt next to him. “Good morning, Sokka. I’m just headed down to the harbor. Care to join me?”

“Sure, count me in,” Sokka says.

“Come on then.” Zuko resumes walking. “Did you sleep well?”

“Like a baby,” Sokka grins. “Thanks for letting me sleep in, by the way. And for leaving a note. Y’know, my instincts had me thinking you might’ve been in some kind of trouble.”

Zuko snorts. It’s quite amusing to receive confirmation that his intuition is still spot on when it comes to Sokka. The years have done nothing to dampen Sokka’s “instincts,” which he steadfastly and somewhat misguidedly believes to be accurate.

“I told the guards,” Zuko says, “that if you didn’t see the note and started freaking out, that they should go in and remedy the situation. And by remedy, I mean ‘ensure that Sokka does not go on a panic-fueled rampage with his sword.’”

“Aw, how sweet of you!” Sokka throws an arm over Zuko’s shoulders. “It actually wasn’t a problem, though. I only woke up because Katara ran out of rooms to look in besides yours—Oh, I hope you don’t mind that she came in.”

“Of course not. I don’t blame her for worrying, and I should’ve let someone know you’d be with me last night. Suki even mentioned this morning that Katara was looking for you.”

“Oops.” Sokka laughs. “Well, she was more amused than anything, but I did get a light scolding about disappearing without telling anyone where to find me. I told her, though, that anyone with half a brain could’ve figured out where I was.”

“Oh?” Zuko quirks an eyebrow amusedly. “What makes you say that?”

“Aw, c’mon, Zuko, use your head!”

Zuko gives him a skeptical look, and he laughs.

“Okay, okay. Let’s pretend it’s Aang who’s just risen from the dead. We have a nice Team Avatar dinner, and then some stressful event, which wears him out. I walk him back to his room to make sure he doesn’t collapse, and then no one hears from me for the rest of the night. Where am I?”

“Uhhh. Aang’s room?”

“Exactly. See, was that so hard?”

Zuko shakes his head. “Okay, point taken,” he says. “So what did Katara need you for anyway? Did you two have plans today?”

“Nah, she was just worried because I’ve been sleeping in her room on the sofa. She got worried when I never came back, and you know how she gets.”

“Yeah, I guess I do. Any solo plans then, if none with Katara?”

Sokka grins. “Zuko, I’m being absolutely serious when I say I have no idea what to do here. Remember, I came here to deliver the spirit water. All I really had on my mind was saving you, so I didn’t make extensive plans for my stay in the Fire Nation.”

“Oh.” Zuko hadn’t thought of that, though it should have been fairly obvious. If he hadn’t fallen ill, Sokka would still be at the South Pole, helping his father lead the Southern Water Tribe. “I’d almost forgotten. I guess I should probably ask how long you plan to stay.”

Sokka shrugs. “I haven’t given it a whole lot of thought. Another day, at most. I need to get back to my dad,” he explains. “Like I told you before, tensions are pretty high between us and the North, and Dad and Bato are relegating more and more of the diplomatic responsibilities to me these days. They said they could handle things for a bit while I was here, but I don’t want to leave them alone for too long.” He laughs. “They might accidentally incite a civil war with Chief Arnook.”

Zuko doesn’t know why that makes his heart sink. It’s no surprise that Sokka has to go back so soon, and he could’ve guessed that Sokka would only be here as long as he was needed. Maybe he just misses his friend. He always felt closest to Sokka out of all of them, and even though he’s been fine these last few years without having his companionship, just seeing Sokka for a day has reminded him of how much he’s missed having him around.

“It’s too bad that you have to leave so soon,” Zuko says. “It would’ve been nice for all of us to have a chance to spend some time together again.”

“Yeah, I know,” Sokka says. “I gave some consideration to staying maybe a week or two, but Dad really needs me. Besides, Suki, Mai, and Ty Lee are about to take off for Crescent Island soon, right? It’s less fun when we’re not all here, and if I don’t have anything to do, I’ll probably drive myself insane worrying about them.”

“I understand,” Zuko says. “I just wish we had more time to spend together.”

“Hey,” Sokka ruffles Zuko’s hair lightly. “You’re always welcome to come visit me in the South Pole, y’know. You could take a little vacation, give Izumi some worldly experience. I’m sure Iroh would be more than happy to run things in your absence.”

“Maybe. I’d have to think about it, and make some pretty hefty advance plans.” It’s not a bad idea, though, Zuko realizes. Most of the Southern Water Tribe have forgiven him for invading their land back when he was hunting Aang down, so he’ll be welcomed there. He can stay with Sokka and spend some time with Izumi in a more relaxed environment, because as much as he hates to admit it, being the Fire Lord is really keeping him from being a proper father. And if he times it right, maybe Katara and Aang can visit at the same time.

Zuko and Sokka stop when they reach the edge of the caldera.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Sokka groans. “Man, it looks so much worse when I’m not on Appa.”

Zuko laughs and begins the descent. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.”

They descend mostly in silence, except for the cursing and yelling coming from Sokka every time the path twists in a way that he doesn’t expect, and the laughter from Zuko at his friend’s distress.

Thankfully, Sokka makes it down in one piece, but he complains loudly about the Capital’s design.

“Why would your ancestors do that?” he pants. “I mean, come on, I understand utilizing the natural landscape for fortification, but that’s just excessive.”

Zuko laughs, breathless himself—though that’s more to do with his still questionable health. “My forefathers had many enemies.”

“Well, no wonder!” Sokka waves his arm dramatically back toward the caldera. “Their design skills were terrible.”

Once Sokka catches his breath, they continue toward the harbor, at a more leisurely pace. As citizens notice Zuko among them, they begin to whisper to each other, and he receives low bows from the ones who, much as Zuko has tried to change the way things are in the Fire Nation, still live in fear of the Royal Family.

The warships loom ahead, bustling with activity. The nearer Zuko and Sokka draw, the louder the shouts of crewmen and soldiers become. Zuko appraises the progress of the ships’ preparations. He can’t tell if the crews have been completely downsized yet, but whatever has been done appears to have occurred without incident, and things are running smoothly.

“Wow.” Sokka’s staring up at the ships with wide blue eyes and an open mouth. “Those are some seriously impressive ships.”

“Thank you,” Zuko says. “They’re some of the finest the Fire Navy has to offer. I guess they’re quite a bit different from what you’re used to sailing.”

“No kidding.” Sokka shakes his head. “Y’know, when I was a kid, I thought that Water Tribe ships were the most extraordinary vessels I’d ever see. I had no idea that ships could be so massive.”

“Hey,” Zuko says. “Ours might be big, but as far as speed and efficiency go, yours are unmatched. In fact, I’ve asked my engineers to start finding ways to incorporate the shapes of your ships into the designs of mine.”

“Really?” Sokka’s eyes shine. “Zuko, that’s awesome!”

“Thanks.” Zuko blushes. “The motion is still in its infancy, but if all goes well, we should have some of the new ships on the water within a couple years.”

Sokka nods, staring up at the ships, then turns and gives Zuko the softest smile. “It really means a lot that you’re trying to change how the Fire Nation sees the Water Tribes.”

“Oh, well…” Zuko smiles back. “It’s really nothing, I swear. You and Katara are my friends. And even if you weren’t, the Fire Nation’s bigotry has gone on for too long. It’s time we start acknowledging the technologies of the other nations.”

“I can’t really argue with that,” Sokka says, and Zuko laughs.

In his periphery, he can see citizens gathering to watch the warships with new interest, now that Zuko’s made an appearance. As predicted, Zuko’s presence signifies something to the people. Even if the specifics about the ships’ destination are absolutely confidential, they can clearly see that Zuko, the peaceful Fire Lord, has ordered this offensive. And it isn’t difficult to guess his reasons.

Zuko stands at the pier, Sokka at his side, for almost an hour. They chat idly for most of that time, though Zuko is careful to keep the conversation more subdued than it would naturally be, since he’s technically appearing in an official capacity.

Once he’s satisfied that the ships’ preparations will remain on schedule and that enough people have seen him to spread word of his appearance, Zuko decides to leave.

Sokka follows, complaining mildly about the imminent climb to the caldera.

Zuko scoffs at him. “You’d think I’d be the one complaining, since just the other day, I couldn’t even stand on my own.”

“Yeah, but you’re all boosted with spirit water.”

There’s no stopping the laughter that overcomes Zuko. “That’s not how spirit water works and you know it.”

“Hey don’t laugh at me!” Sokka shoves lightly at Zuko’s shoulder. “You know I don’t understand spirits.”

“Yes, an amazing feat considering how much time you’ve spent with Aang. It don’t know how you’ve gone all these years without digesting a single word that comes out of his mouth. Even Mai has started to understand him.”

Sokka grumbles. “Well, I understand the basics.”

“Sure you do. Care to elaborate?” Zuko challenges. He loves how Sokka bristles in indignation.

“I know that to get to the spirit world, you have to meditate, and I know that spirits are very scary when they’re angry.”

“…That’s it?”

“Shut up.”

They don’t talk much more for the remainder of the ascent. Zuko will never to his dying breath admit it to Sokka, but he agrees that the winding path up to the caldera is a bit much, even when he’s at his fittest. Surprisingly, he manages just fine for the majority of the climb. They’re probably no more than twenty feet from the rim when Zuko has to stop and lean against the side of the volcano.

To Sokka’s credit, he doesn’t even laugh at Zuko. In fact, he joins him, leaning his forehead against the cool rock. “You okay?” he asks.

Zuko nods wearily. “Just… a little tired. My mind is still trying to convince my body that I’m not dead.”

Sokka hums in acknowledgment. After a few minutes of rest, he straightens. “Here, I’ll carry you the rest of the way,” he says.

“What? No.” Zuko shakes his head. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me. Just give me a couple more minutes.”

He gets an eyeroll in return. “You can’t fool me, Zuko. If you try to go any further, you’re just gonna hurt yourself. Let me do this for you.”

Sokka fixes his bright eyes on Zuko, looking so earnest and eager to help, and it doesn’t take long for Zuko to cave. He’s always been weak against Sokka’s persistence, and secretly, he actually enjoys everything Sokka does to remind him that he now has friends that really and truly want to help hm.

In a move that is growing disconcertingly familiar, Zuko hauls himself onto Sokka’s back. Zuko’s robes make it a little awkward, but after a bit of manoeuvring and a lot of giggling, they manage.

And that’s how they stay for the rest of the climb, the short descent into the caldera, and the walk through the city. Zuko’s almost disturbed by the fact that after only a day and a half with Sokka, he’s already feeling less self-conscious about being seen in such a manner.

Katara, however, is not so accustomed to seeing them like this, which results in an interesting scene just outside the palace.

“Sokka? Zuko? What—Am I missing something?” She stands flabbergasted before them, arm in arm with Aang, who is noticeably less alarmed by the sight of them. In fact, he looks more delighted than anything.

“Yeah,” Sokka says. “Missing out on all the fun we’re having!”

Katara regards them with what can only be described as incredulity. “You’re sweaty and flushed, and you’re carrying Zuko on your back. I think we have a fundamental difference of opinion on what constitutes ‘fun.’”

“You’re probably right,” Sokka concedes. “But Aang agrees with me, right, Aang?”

“Obviously!” Aang enthuses. “Hey, you should give me a turn. I wanna give Zuko a pig-chicken back ride!”

“Absolutely not!” Katara and Zuko cry at the same time.

Zuko prompts Sokka to put him down, not willing to risk being passed off to Aang. “Aang,” he says, stepping forward to clap him on the shoulder. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t trust you.”

“What? Why not?” Aang pouts. “I’m the Avatar, I’m the most trustworthy person in the world.”

“You’re about as skinny as me and not that much taller,” Zuko explains. “I fear for my physical safety should you try to carry me up a volcano.”

“Oh, c’mon Zuko, please? I might be your size, but I’m almost as strong as Sokka.” He flexes to emphasize his point, and Zuko hears Sokka behind him, doing a terrible job disguising his laugh as a cough.

“No, Aang, you’re really not,” Katara says gently. “Sorry, sweetie.” She leans in and gives him a quick kiss, after which Sokka proceeds to make exaggerated gagging noises.

Katara glares at him. “Do you mind?”

“Do _you_ mind?” Sokka shoots back with a cheeky smile. “You’re the one smooching Aang right in front of me.”

“Yeah, but you’d think you’d have grown up enough by now to not make a scene every time it happens.” Katara folds her arms and raises an eyebrow.

“Never gonna happen!” Sokka sings. He lifts her up into a hug. “You’re always gonna be my baby sister, and I’m never gonna stop embarrassing you in public.”

Katara rolls her eyes at Zuko over Sokka’s shoulder, and Zuko grins back. He honestly loves watching Sokka and Katara interact, the natural way that they relate to each other and tease each other, without having any real animosity. It’s everything that a family should be, and it makes Zuko happy to see how strong their relationship is.

“I should probably get back to Izumi,” Zuko says to the group. “I’m sure Iroh’s taken great care of her, but I think I’d like to go spend some time with her for the rest of the day.”

Katara nods and smiles softly. “That sounds like a fantastic idea.”

“Yeah,” Sokka says, setting Katara down and turning to face Zuko. “Hey, I’ll come with you! We’re already having ourselves a guys’ day—why not?”

Zuko hadn’t considered having Sokka with him, but he finds that he likes the idea. It’s wonderful that his friends love his daughter almost as much as he does, and spending time with Sokka is always nice.

“Sure,” he says. “Why not?”

He and Sokka bid Katara and Aang farewell, then continue the rest of the way to the palace. The guards at the door bow as Zuko approaches, and they step aside to let them through the doors.

Iroh’s quarters are close to Zuko’s, which thankfully aren’t far from the way they entered the palace. Only a few quick turns later, they come to the large doors of Iroh’s suite. Zuko raises his fist and knocks.

They hear some shuffling inside, then Iroh cracks the door open. “Hello?” He smiles widely when he sees who’s come to visit. “Welcome, Nephew! And I see you’ve brought Sokka along. Please, come in.”

He opens the door the rest of the way and leads them into the room. He lifts Izumi out of her cradle and returns to Zuko.

“Thank you for watching over Izumi,” Zuko says, lifting his baby from Iroh’s arms. “How has she behaved?”

“She is absolutely perfect,” Iroh tells him. “I have never met such a well-behaved child, especially not one of our bloodline.” He winks at Zuko, and Zuko flushes. “Not that you were a troublesome one, of course,” Iroh amends with a laugh. “But your fiery temper was evident even before you could talk.”

“So you’ve told me,” Zuko responds. He smiles down at Izumi, who returns the smile and reaches up toward his face. Zuko gives her his finger to hold, then looks up and addresses Iroh again. “She didn’t keep you up last night at all, did she?”

“No, not at all!” Iroh pats her head fondly. “She and I get along quite well, and for once, someone in this family understands what both naptime and bedtime mean.”

Sokka leans over to get a better look at Izumi. “Can I hold her?” he asks. “I promise I know how to handle kids.”

Zuko laughs. “Of course you can hold her,” he says. “You already held her last night, so I trust you. Just remember to support her head, and don’t drop her.”

“You have my word,” Sokka grins. He holds out his arms, and Zuko gently transfers Izumi over to him. The sight is just as precious as it was in the pavilion. Izumi just looks so small in Sokka’s arms, and the way she smiles in recognition is too perfect.

“She really likes you,” Zuko says.

“You think so?” Sokka rocks her a little, and she burbles contentedly.

“Yeah, I really do.” He meets Sokka’s eyes and smiles. He wouldn’t ever tell Sokka that if he didn’t think it was true. Izumi may be a generally friendly child, but she does show a clear preference for Sokka over all of Zuko’s other friends. Why that is, Zuko couldn’t say, but aside from Zuko, there’s no doubt that Sokka is her favorite.

“Well, thank you for everything, Uncle,” Zuko says to Iroh. “We’ll head back to my quarters so you can get some rest.”

Iroh draws them both in for a hug, then pats them on their backs. “Of course. But feel free to come visit anytime—especially if you have Izumi with you. I went wrong with you, Zuko, when it comes to understanding tea, and I have to make sure I don’t do the same with her.”

“Okay, Uncle” Zuko chuckles. “I’ll be sure to let you educate her in the ways of tea.”

After one more quick farewell, Zuko and Sokka take their leave and walk back toward Zuko’s rooms, Sokka keeping Izumi cradled securely against his chest. In one tiny fist, Izumi grasps a handful of Sokka’s shirt, and with the other, she reaches up toward his whale-tooth necklace.

“Izumi, that’s not a toy,” Sokka laughs. “I’ll make you one, though, if you want. And if your dad says it’s okay.”

Zuko laughs. “Maybe when she’s older,” he says. “Don’t know if I want her wearing easily swallowed pieces of jewelry just yet.”

“Awww,” Sokka coos at Izumi. “Someone’s a real spoil-sport, huh?” He gasps when Zuko elbows him in the ribs. “What was that for?”

“For trying to turn my own daughter against me,” Zuko replies. He pushes the door to his rooms open and enters, Sokka grumbling behind him. With a sigh, he flops backward onto the bed. It’s been a long morning, and he’s exhausted. He can’t wait for his health to recover so he can function normally again.

Sokka joins him on the bed, sitting criss-cross with Izumi in his lap. Zuko rolls over onto his side and props his head up on his hand.

“Hey, Izumi,” he says. He gives her his hand to play with. “You having fun with Uncle Sokka?” He doesn’t know if she quite understands, but she smiles back at him like she does.

The three of them stay like that for the rest of the afternoon. Zuko and Sokka just talk about little things—no politics or battle—just fun stories from their lives before they had to grow up and take on responsibilities in their worlds.

They pass Izumi back and forth, and at times, they even let her lay between them to have some tummy-time. Eventually, as the sun starts to set, she starts to fall asleep, so Zuko gets her ready for bed. He’s starting to grow tired himself, but he’s not ready to fall asleep with his nerves alight with the anticipation of his navy’s departure in the morning.

“I’m just worried that something might go wrong,” he tells Sokka. “It’s irrational, I know—my navy is more than capable of taking on a single cell of the New Ozai Society—but it’s difficult not to feel a little anxious. It’s just feels so out of my control.”

Sokka rubs Zuko’s back comfortingly. “You wish you could be there?” he asks, voice sympathetic.

“Yeah,” Zuko says. “Yeah, I wish I could be there…” Then it clicks in his mind, and he leaps up. “Sokka!” he exclaims. He flinches at how loud his voice is, clears his throat, continues softer, “Sokka, I have to go to Crescent Island.”

Alarm flashes across Sokka’s face. “Zuko, have you lost your mind?” He holds Zuko by his shoulders. “You’re the Fire Lord. You could get hurt, or captured, or—or _killed_. You can’t go. Spirits, use your head.”

“I _am_ using my head,” Zuko says. “But I’m also using my heart. I have to do this, Sokka, I know it.”

“Zuko…” Sokka sighs. “I’m not gonna stop you if this is what you want to do, but I am seriously advising against it. It’s too dangerous.”

Zuko places a hand over Sokka’s, where it’s still resting on his shoulder. “I know it’s dangerous, but you have to understand why I need to go.”

“You sound like Katara when she decided to go after Yon Rha.” Sokka’s voice is full of what Zuko thinks might be disappointment. He hates to disappoint Sokka.

“Please don’t sound like that,” he pleads. “This is important to me.”

He watches Sokka’s face for a reaction. There’s a lot in Sokka’s eyes—concern, understanding, sadness—all whirling together. He can’t make sense of why he needs Sokka’s approval and support so much, but he does.

Finally, Sokka seems to settle, reluctantly, into acceptance. “I know, Zuko,” he says. He pulls Zuko toward him and wraps him in a hug. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Zuko a dumb bisexual? Yes. Yes he is.
> 
> Catch me on tumblr [@lastoftherealblues](http://lastoftherealblues.tumblr.com/)!


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